just come away from a driving lesson, feeling like a moron,please tell me it gets better.

[staydazzling]

Im very anxious, i get flustered and sometimes forget things i already know, im not retaining things and i feel like an idiot, i just want to it to click, but i have to do it? Was anyone else like this at driving?

I was, took me more than a year of lessons to sit my test. Passed first time though. I think it gets to a certain point and things start clicking into place more. For the nerves I would suggest rescue remedy. I found if I took it before a lesson I was much calmer so got on better.

Thankyou ill get some

You know what helped me the most, when I was just learning and it all seemed so complicated and impossible?

I’d think about all the absolute idiots I’d met in my life, who could drive. Completely brainless and clueless, yet driving was second nature to them. If they could learn it, then I bloody well would too.

Go on, try it. Go to your local supermarket and do 5 minutes of people watching. Observe them wrestling the little baskets, pulling tins out from the middle of the stack, blocking the aisle for a chat. And tell yourself ‘They drove here, and they’re driving home.’

Grit your teeth, focus your attention, and have faith that it will stick. Cos it will. One day your brain and your body just sort of meld with the machine and you’re off.

Skittles thats brilliant thankyou

It took a long time for driving to really click for me. It seemed so difficult and then bit by bit I realised I could do certain aspects automatically without too much thought. It felt like it would never happen but it did. Good luck!

I feel so hopeless like ill never do it

I can still remember the sheer horror of realising that I would have to do so many things at the same time, changing gear, indicating, watching all the mirrors, using the handbrake, steering the car, having to be aware of all the other drivers. I thought I'd never be able to coordinate all that stuff.
Then one day it did just click, everything just fell into place. Practice as much as you can, you'll get there in the end

Maybe looking at what different bits of the car do might be helpful? Eg how steering works, what the clutch does, different gears, handbrake v footbrake. Might give it some context?

I used to get so scared before lessons and I really dreaded getting into the car as I was sure to make at least three stupid mistakes every time. I vividly remember making a mistake once and the instructor saying something suggesting that I was never going to get it and no matter how many lessons I had it was unlikely that I would ever pass my test. I never had another lesson with him.

It took me four goes but I did pass and have been happily driving for nearly twenty years.

What Skittles said is brilliant and so true. And Stardust is also right - the more you drive, more confident you become.

Good luck, OP.

Completely agree with skittles, really helped me to think like that too.

I also second the rescue remedy. I didn't use it when learning but did for the first 6 months or so of driving once I'd passed. I don't care if it's a placebo, it made me feel calmer either way.

You will get it, just keep going. How regular are your lessons? I'd try and drive every few days if you can - otherwise the first 15mins will be remembering everything and acclimatising again each time.

It gets better. Just hang in there. I was dreadfully anxious and used to hate lessons but I persevered and you will feel so proud of yourself on the day you pass your test. I have faith in you OP. You can do this

my instructor can be a bit shouty too, thankyou for all your replies, i only have one lesson a week

I thought I would never learn. Plus my first instructor was a perv who wasted my money on pointless lessons, was generally shit and tried to feel me up. That knocked my confidence for quite a while. Luckily, the next one was wonderful, but it still took me about 40 lessons to pass.

Change your instructor, you need someone to explain things calmly and give you confidence, not shout at you.

I'm with skittles on this, too. We gave BIL some gift vouchers to kick-start his driving lessons at the weekend; and the one piece of advice I gave him was to remember that he is intelligent (which he is), and that there are plenty of stupid people out there who have driving licences so he shouldn't have any problem

hey! i'm learning to drive at the moment too, i'm also quite an anxious person so totally understand.
my partner used to make fun of me, cuz id be like hunched over the steering wheel, all nervous.

anyways... i've had a few different instructors over the years (have stopped and started learning but finally im going for it and have even booked my test, beggars belief!)

the right instructor helps.

i've had 2 female instructors and 1 male.
the male was ex raf and really shouty and would aggresively grab wheel off me etc and made me so uncomfortable, did not last long.

my female instructors have been very calm and lovely, great at explaining things - very possibly nothing to do with gender.

so yeah, look absolutely no problem in trying another instructor?

i got mine from a friend, a bunch of her friends had all passed with her so i knew her success rate and i can now see why.

how long have you been learning for?

i've been learning since october, don't always have time to do lesson every week so often do lessons once every 2 weeks and i hated them for the first couple of months, only recently have i started to actually enjoy it and look forward to them. i never thought id see the day.

my approach was -

no rush, just keep learning until you're comfortable.
and when my instructor asked me to book my test, i hadn't even done my theory. so i recently took my theory - that helps a lot.
you gain a lot of knowledge whilst revising and it was such a confidence boost when i passed that.

just take your time.
know that you can do it.
and get yourself another instructor, ask for recommendations xx

Listen, you know it's bad when your instructor comes in afterwards and gets you to practice steering using a plate🙄
It took me years and 3 tests.

thankyou for all the words of encouragement, I might have to maybe, I come away feeling like an idiot or a child,. Its funny I had a male instructor once, I had to quit but he was spot on,.firm told me when and what I was doing wrong but yeah placid, couldnt fault him.its a shame really.

Bless ya Kamer , my dad had 7 tests

I had a shouty instructor too. I did an intensive with a test at three end so had no choice but to stick with him. I passed but I think his approach had a big effect on me and it took me a long time to feel confident - hence the rescue remedy for the first 6 months. It may well be worth looking at another instructor. You will get there!

I did pass my test the first time but it was my third attempt to learn iyswim. My knuckles used to be white where I'd been clutching the steering wheel and terror would set in and I'd think I can't do this.
The third instructor also taught my parents and he was brilliant, I did get to the stage where I was ready to give up trying to learn and I told him, he was so encouraging to me and he gave me the confidence to persist.
That was many years ago and I'm so glad I persevered, I love driving now and I can't imagine not being able to. Stick with it and practice as much as you can.

I felt really anxious when learning to drive. Passed fourth time aged 31 years. Thing that did if for me was having a super chilled driving instructor. He was so relaxed that even when I stalled on a busy roundabout he was practically horizontal. Portuguese guy called victor. My savour. Before that I had a couple of horrible instructors who shouted at me (one made me take her dog in the back seat) and I couldn't get it. Too tense. My advice: find a victor!

I've just started at the grand old age of 49. I had my 14th lesson today. It's not easy but I think I'm getting there.

I didn't start to learn till I was over 30, had masses of lessons and failed the test twice, but after I passed I drove very frequently and became confident. So glad I learned. You will get there OP!

I'd change instructors if he's shouty. I stupidly put up with an unpleasant angry instructor for 9 months as I just assumed I was a terrible driver. He used to tell me 90% of driving is learning to relax behind the wheel but he was probably the most uptight person I've ever met!