18yo Autistic Son has booked a holiday

[holbobs78]

He's paid for it on his debit card for him and his girlfriend. He used a online travel agent . The flights aren't refundable. He seriously cannot go.
I've spoke to the airline but there's nothing they can do as it was weeks ago when it was booked . It's over £400 in costs. I don't know what else to do.
Can anyone offer any advice?

Why can't he go - that might help people offer some advice

Can the names on the tickets be changed? Is there someone that could/would go instead do you think?

Why can't he go? I'm autistic and have travelled all over.

Curious about why he can't go

Ooh gosh. So can you explain more about why he can't go so that we can maybe make some suggestions? How does his autism present day to day?

Could his girlfriend go with a friend and they give him half of the money?

X posts with everyone

Why can’t he go?

Also echoing and asking why can he not go?

He's very immature and his girlfriend is only 17. I really don't think he could cope with an airport environment. He got very overly excited when booking the holiday . I don't think he understood the gravity of it all.

How does the immaturity manifest?

I am autistic.
I was generally the person reading maps when we went on family holidays as a child. I still know all the words of the 1980s AA book of the road off by heart.
I booked and traveled to a music festival on the other end of the country when I was 17.
It was louder than I would have liked but I got to see bands I was interested in.
When I was 18 I moved to a different country.
I'm not saying it was all plain sailing but I'm still in one piece.
Is the trip to a place with lots of information available? Does he like to plan?

Could you/ another family member go too? Different room, maybe even different hotel. Basically aim to just be other hotel guests on your own independent holiday but there if you are needed?

I have a 7yo with autism and I would be delighted to think he might book a holiday with a girlfriend in the future. It’s hard for us to see this as a problem without a bit more context.

Where are they going? How long for? How does his autism manifest itself? What is his girlfriend like?

though - it sounds like you’re very worried about this b

My autistic son flew to sweden earlier this year. I seriously bricked it. It was fine. Lots of airports have autism or SN support. Work out what he needs to be able to access normal adult things and then help put things in place.
Does his gf have additional needs? Is she supportive etc? (Recognising autism is a spectrum, not all the same etc)

www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/holidays-trips/preparation.aspx info on this page about help at different airports

Eg: link Gatwick

I'm autistic and feel quite insulted! Let him go.

as no one other than the OP knows anything about her son, I'm inclined to believe her when she says he can't go . . .

Airports have various schemes in place for hidden disabilities etc I think they have a coloured lanyard to wear ?
Get involved in the planning-can you help at the airport ?
It could be really really good for him. I’d really be trying to do everything to help facilitate this holiday

@Fernicktylo exactly

I’m autistic, I’ve travelled. I know fuck all about the OP’s son’s autism therefore am in no position to suggest it will all be fine.

I’m sorry OP. I hope you can resolve this.

If the mountain won't come to....and so on.
Can you and a friend or someone book the same holiday and stay in the same hotel, give them as much independence as possible, but be there as a safety net.

I've an autistic son and he couldn't take a train to Paddington let alone a holiday. I hope he will one day but I wouldn't be over the moon. You know your son. I hope you resolve it too.

Mum of 2 DC on the spectrum here.

Well, there is the first time for everything. Your DS clearly decided that forcing this major step on himself is going to help him to grow and develop. I should think he must believe he would rise to the challenge. He wants to.

So for you this seems to be a big moment, where baby spreads his wings as it were. The best way you could support him is to help to plan how to cope and build in contigencies and back up solutions. Restate your confidence in him. Make a list and a flow chart of all the hurdles and challenges and how he would deal with them. Involve his gf. Ask him for his answers, his solutions. His preparation.

The priority should be to avoid disasters, real dangers, there should be hierarchy of priorities. Being in one piece, in good health is more important than lost luggage etc. I suppose the main thing is for them not to get separated, not to miss their flights, not to miss which gate at what time. Gate changes, last minute. Money and pick pockets, not to lose passports. Health emergencies. Police. How the gf will help.

I dunno, OP. Can you legally stop him? He's an adult now.

Just tell him and his GF that if he gets a meltdown at the airport to just come back home.