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Pregnant whilst at university

45 replies

Amynicole93 · 28/01/2019 12:31

Hi guys. So me and my husband want to start a family as now is the perfect time financially. However I am currently studying nursing at University. When I am to become pregnant, I'm aiming to get back to university after 1-2 months time as it will only be theory hours so I could do online modules etc. My current university days are 3 days a week. My husband would have his 2 days off when I'm at uni so he could have the baby and my mom would stay at my house for the 3rd day when I'm at uni and my husbands at work as she doesn't work so she's available all the time and is quite happy with this. Does this seem like a good idea?

OP posts:
GraceUnderwood · 28/01/2019 12:42

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StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 12:48

Ignore the stupid troll

StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 12:49

Phew already gone. There are a lot about today.
Now I will let someone with better knowledge reply. Good luck :)

Interested in this thread?

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AwkwardPaws27 · 28/01/2019 12:50

@GraceUnderwood what a horrible thing to say!

OP, if you can afford to support your family and have support with childcare for the unsocial hours of nursing, then why not?
However, I would put a plan in place in case you can't go back after two months, you might need longer to physically and mentally recover from birth, or you may just want to spend longer caring full-time with your baby.
Good luck!

titchy · 28/01/2019 12:51

Stupid idea sorry. Finish your course, get a job for a year or two, then think about having a family. What's the rush. Legally you can;t return after 1-2 months either btw. And timetables change frequently. So three days now might be 5 days next year.

Villanellesproudmum · 28/01/2019 12:54

I completed my degree whilst pregnant, then with a new born and working in the holidays as a single parent. With childminder support. Certainly easier than whilst working, although I did fall asleep during my final dissertation and nearly missed the deadline. Uni were very supportive and I completed some exams in a private room, I was however due to give birth so they were more worried about me going into labour and disrupting other students Grin

Some lecturers even let me take her into lessons when I returned as I was breastfeeding. They ended up coming to her christening.

StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 12:54

Why can't she return after one or two months

WitchSharkadder · 28/01/2019 12:57

Titchy, you are completely misinformed, there’s nothing illegal about going back after that length of time, anything more than 2 weeks is fine.

OP, I went back to work 3 weeks post birth. Not something I would recommend as it took its toll, but there again it was a job where I spent 8 hours on my feet. It is doable though. I would have a back up plan just in case as you never know what will happen and it’s pissible you won’t feel able to go back so soon. But if you’re prepared to defer your course a year if necessary then go for it.

Good luck Smile

Amynicole93 · 28/01/2019 12:57

I didn't even see what Grace wrote lol
Yeah plan is already in place and if I needed longer to recover or just want longer off then I could take a year off. I didn't really want to do that but I know that's there incase I needed it :)

OP posts:
Knitwit101 · 28/01/2019 12:58

In theory yes, but you might find it harder than you expect to leave your baby for 3 days when they are so young. Would you have the option to go back later?

Amynicole93 · 28/01/2019 12:59

Thank you girls! You're comments are much appreciated. Nice to hear different opinions :)

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 13:00

I thought you couldn't return to employment within the first two weeks. Would study be counted?

Amynicole93 · 28/01/2019 13:00

Knitwit101 yes I'd have the option to go have, I've spoken to my student support

OP posts:
aquaviv · 28/01/2019 13:00

I've done a degree, and had a baby. I personally cannot fathom attending university when pregnant or returning to university and studying with baby so young. That's my honest opinion. Pregnancy is really tiring stuff and I know how much work has to go into studying for a degree.

StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 13:02

People work while pregnant, surely they can study?

Amynicole93 · 28/01/2019 13:02

@StrealthPolarBear 2 weeks minimum

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 13:04

Right. That's good!

aquaviv · 28/01/2019 13:04

Yes but work you can switch off come 5pm. Study you have to carry it on through in the evening at home.

LivLemler · 28/01/2019 13:05

People do similar all the time, and fair play to them. However, there is no way I would've been able to engage my brain two months after DD was born. She had silent (ha!) reflux and the nights were horrific at that stage. I was nowhere near my best, and if I'd tried any studying at that time I wouldn't have done myself justice.

If you were unexpectedly pregnant, I'd advise you to contact your adviser of studies and discuss the possibility of taking a leave of absence so that you could perform better on your return. Since you're thinking about TTC, I'd recommend considering whether it would be possible to wait. Obviously, it isn't always advisable to wait and I would never recommend sacrificing a family for your career. Just maybe consider whether plans could be tweaked a bit.

Amynicole93 · 28/01/2019 13:05

@StrealthPolarBear exactly. And because I have support off both families and with my mom not working so being available all the time I can't see how it wouldn't work.
Me and my husband would have a routine for waking up to feed ect

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 13:12

Not really aqyaviv

WildCherryBlossom · 28/01/2019 13:34

It really does depend on the baby. My mother studied when I was a baby - I slept very well. My first was a terrible sleeper and I was unable to finish a course I had been taking. I might have been able to study with the others who slept better but it would have been very difficult to get anyone else to look after them as they were all EBF. I did try to persuade my 2nd to take a bottle as I had to go somewhere for a day when he was 8 weeks old. So I expressed and expressed but he refused the bottle and didn't eat for 7 hours until I was back 😢

LivLemler · 28/01/2019 14:11

Me and my husband would have a routine for waking up to feed ect

That's great that your husband is an equal partner, so many aren't. If you do go ahead with your plan, I'd advise bottle feeding as, naturally, breastfeeding would mean all night feeds would be on you. It would also make it harder to leave during the day of course.

Also, there is of course the fact that your baby won't have read about your desire for routine, and may well have a tough time adjusting to the outside world. Our DD refused to sleep lying flat at that stage, so she slept on us, and in her bouncer when we were desperate. There is no way we could've cobbled together enough sleep for two functioning adults.

I don't want to seem unreasonably negative, and I don't want to rain on your parade. But having a tiny baby can be So. Fucking. Difficult. And I had friends who had it much, much tougher than me. And that's without considering those whose babies are ill or who have long recoveries from complicated deliveries. And of course, there's no way to predict what kind of baby you'll have.

Talk to any friends who've had babies in the last few years, ask them for their honest opinions and see what they think. I know very few who would've been capable of returning to work or study so soon after having their first (I'm assuming?) baby and I don't think any of my friends would recommend it.

Like I said, women all over the world do manage. Just look at the US and it's crappy maternity policies, it's the norm there. But it's so so hard, and I don't see why you'd back yourself into that corner if you had any other options.

aquaviv · 28/01/2019 14:15

I'm just giving my honest opinion on the matter. I think with best intention it may sound doable but in reality it will very tough going. Its also little things like I could not imagine sitting comfortably in a lecture theatre for 2 hours when 30+ pregnant, morning sickness in the early pregnancy, etc.

StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2019 14:24

Im sure. But many jobs do not switch off at 5