What are examples of things that are highly offensive/emotive in another culture that I could be ignorant about?

[bedunkalilt]

I’m sure there are plenty of things that are different between cultures when it comes to causing offence, particularly on day to day etiquette. I’m thinking of that, as well as of things like significant historical events, or very important symbols (whether they’re important because they’re considered highly special, or they’re important not to be used because of their history). Something where you could cause outrage or offence by not knowing the significance.

I was promoted by this article on the BBC about a Thai girl band member who wore a t-shirt that had a Nazi swastika. I’ve seen that type of thing come up before, where the historical significance of the Nazi swastika isn’t as well known or certainly isn’t reviled in some countries.

I imagine there may be other symbols, or historically significant events, that are highly emotive for many reasons, across the world, and I wouldn’t know (I’m British and have lived here all my life so assume most of my knowledge is of history from the British taught perspective), as well as day to day etiquette.

I was wondering if any MNers have some examples they could share so I could learn more? Like common offensive errors that people not culturally aware make in other countries, or significant historical events or symbols about which the unaware could cause offence through ignorance?

sleepyhead I struggle with this and I'm Scottish. Whenever my DB and DSIL come round they bring something, e.g. a packet of biscuits when I've told them I'm baking a cake. Don't know if it this DSIL influence from NE Scotland, it vexes me a bit, they bring an over packaged load of cheap e-numbers when they know I've baked a cake from scratch, with special consideration for the tastes of those that are coming (e.g. our parents). We don't need both in the space of a couple of hours and I feel obliged to offer the shitty biscuits round.

On my first trip to China it was April and a lot warmer there than here, I'd packed open toed sandals but noticed that none of the women in the office were wearing them. I plucked up the courage to ask a couple of them about it as I'd convinced myself that showing feet was possibly a big no-no. After pissing themselves laughing they said it was fine, but they wouldn't wear them as it was still too cold for that! To be fair the following year I was there in July so April was relatively chilly by comparison !

This got busier since yesterday evening! I am keeping note, no plans to go anywhere imminently but it’s good to be aware.

I can’t think of anything useful to share, but I will say that Colombians are really tired of drug jokes. Also, it’s not unusual for a Colombian to comment on a factual change in your appearance - like, “How are you? You look different, you’ve gained weight!”. When I first experienced this I was mortified, but learned over time that this wasn’t intended to insult me!

On the other hand when speaking Spanish (with Colombians, I’ve no idea anywhere else), particularly to people you don’t know really well, they usually use the formal tense (which basically doesn’t exist in English as far as I’m aware). They actually have a term for not doing this. Literally translated it can sound like addressing someone in the third person, and there is a lot of use of ‘sir’, ‘madam’ etc. It can be disconcerting for Colombians moving to/visiting English-speaking countries like the US or UK when they are meeting someone for the first time, such as in business, and they are addressed like, “Hey, Carlos, how are you?”.

redexpat That made me chuckle. I have a Danish friend and some time ago in conversation someone else was referring to Sweden, and she sighed and muttered, “Yes, because Sweden is perfect...” it was a fascinating glimpse into Scandinavian life.

ThisCoolBean Ooh that looks interesting, thank you!

All the Danes in my family hang out with Swedes, Is that unusual?

That reminds me another ne about the Scandis we know my dad always says-be a bit careful what you joke about because they can be a bit serious about things, and the idea that they're all super liberal atheists isnt exactly true.

Don't take your French hostess a bunch of chrysanthemums, they are used as grave flowers, and are ill luck to have in the house.
It's not the done thing to take wine to a French dinner party, it implies that your host hasn't selected the appropriate wine. Instead, take posh chocolates, which are always well received.

Ok so I as an English person will do my best to adhere to cultural norms when I'm visiting abroad. Why therefore don't visitors to Britain afford us the same courtesy? Especially the Chinese man described above snotting in the pavement. It's really not ok. And the amount of gob in the streets is hideous, so many people seem to spit freely and think nothing of it. Disgusting 😡

ark I think most visitors do, there are always going to be some who aren't aware or simply don't care.
I have seen far more white UK males spitting in the street than any other group.

Albania - shoes off in the home. Plus plenty more I’ll add later

I don’t know if this counts but it’s shocked me a few times so here goes:

In Australia we shorten lots of words and often add an e or an o. Garbo, arvo, servo (petrol station), etc. Most people know that.

However, using the word ‘Abo’ to refer to an Aboriginal person is a racial slur. Several times over the years (I live abroad), well-meaning, friendly non-Australian people have used the abbreviation in conversation with me, trying out a bit of the Aussie lingo I guess. But please don’t use it, it’s pretty shocking.

Don't wish a German Happy Birthday or send a gift before their birthday. Better to err on the side of late. It's a folk belief that wishing happy birthday early is bad luck as the person could drop dead before their birthday. Even children's parties are sometimes weeks later so as not to be before the date itself!

KingLooieCatz Nooooo there is no obligation to offer round what the visitor brought - it's absolutely not expected.

In fact, it's not unusual to save something someone brought you that's not really to your taste to take the next time you're visiting someone yourself. I'm sure there are packets of biscuits that have been doing the rounds at New Year etc for years .

Yes, Brits abroad certainly have a reputation for respecting local customs dont they.

Chariots, of course you can use the word Kristallnacht, but when written it tends to come in quote marks to show it was the Nazi term. There was an exhibition about it in Berlin last year, called 'Kristallnacht'.

When saying Cheers ('Prost') for a round of drinks in Germany, it's regarded as hugely rude not to look everyone in the eye.

It's also normal to say 'Good day' to everyone in the room when you go into a doctor's waiting room, and everyone is expected to reply in kind.

On the other hand, here in Berlin at least, it's not seen as particularly rude to ask for something in a shop without saying please!

Bertie, the one exception to the rule of not celebrating a birthday in advance is that you can 'reinfeiern' - having a party the night before, and then people can say 'happy birthday' on the dot of midnight.

I as an English person will do my best to adhere to cultural norms when I'm visiting abroad. Why therefore don't visitors to Britain afford us the same courtesy?

Splitting my sides at the idea that The English are famed as the most culturally sensitive nation.

Some First Nations ones. There are many many different Nations, all of whom have their own traditions. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing so don't assume that because passing a baby over a table in one Nation is not done, that it's not fine in another. Broadly, eye contact is less, there is more respect and deference to Elders, it's nice to acknowledge the territory but the acknowledgement varies wildly. Food is really important so very often meetings and particularly knowledge acquisition involves food. Don't use the words 'Indian' or 'Native' unless you are specifically told to and don't assume that because someone refers to themselves using those words that you are allowed. And be EXTREMELY careful if you mention school. The Indigenous experience of school was historically horrifying.

In some Asian countries, (Singapore and Japan, maybe others), it’s considered polite/a sign of mutual respect to pass and receive something with both hands, even if it’s as small as a business card.

As others have said, don’t eat with your left hand in India, but as it’s considered unclean, also don’t use it to pass something to someone, or to touch them. (I think this is becoming less of a thing, though.)

Yes to making eye contact when toasting in Germany, I’ve also come across this in France.

My cousin lives in Spain and says that there, the British are referred to as ‘por favors’ because ex-pats and visitors say please a lot more than the Spanish themselves do.

In some post-Soviet countries it is illegal to wear anything bearing Soviet symbols such as hammer and sickle.

Re Brits abroad. The country I am originally from gets a lot of visiting groups of British men on stag dos. It is so comical but every time there is a man arrested for taking his clothes off in public and pissing on the statue of independence, 9/10 times it's a Brit actually ONLY Brits piss on our statue of independence... very strange!

I remembered another couple relevant to my home country:

• if you are having a party and invite a Polish person, they will be most put out if you write “bring a bottle” on the invitation, and most likely won’t turn up! It’s normal in Poland for the host to provide the booze. For example there will always be a free bar at a wedding, and guests would be pretty offended if invited to one and then expected to pay for booze.

• The basic rules of dinner party conversation in England apply - don’t talk about politics, religion or how much money you make. But those rules aren’t exclusive to dinner party/formal conversation, they apply to general every day chit chat too. It’s a very religious country, so best to just not bring up religion as a conversational topic as it can very easily become offensive.

In Syria it's not the done thing to mock the president; even laughing at a poster of him at the airport does not go down well

Fairfax, I was told that too at the Oneida cultural centre. People have been taken aback by my referring to the people we met as Indians (where their culture is relevant to the conversation) but it is their preference.

Helmut same in Poland but with regards to Pope John Paul II.
Airports and souvenir shops sell all sorts of strange souvenirs with his face on, and life is not worth living if you insult him in anyway.
My mum has a tea towel with his face on it and it’s looks really weird when it’s creased because it distorts his face...but don’t let my mother see you smirk

AdaColeman, when my step dad (French) was first here he was taken very ill and ended up in hospital. He remembers coming round in a ward with a huge bunch of chrysanthemums next to the bed that his colleagues had thoughtfully sent. He shat himself as he thought he'd ended up in a funeral home

Another one. As a teen I took part in a youth exchange with some polish students. It was usual for them to ask for food and drink once they had been received into your home as a guest. The girl who stayed with me had some friends over and they requested drinks. We were told beforehand to expect this despite them being warned that Brits would consider it very forward. Can anyone shed any more light on this?

DrCoconut Aww, bless him! I can just imagine that!