What are examples of things that are highly offensive/emotive in another culture that I could be ignorant about?

[bedunkalilt]

I’m sure there are plenty of things that are different between cultures when it comes to causing offence, particularly on day to day etiquette. I’m thinking of that, as well as of things like significant historical events, or very important symbols (whether they’re important because they’re considered highly special, or they’re important not to be used because of their history). Something where you could cause outrage or offence by not knowing the significance.

I was promoted by this article on the BBC about a Thai girl band member who wore a t-shirt that had a Nazi swastika. I’ve seen that type of thing come up before, where the historical significance of the Nazi swastika isn’t as well known or certainly isn’t reviled in some countries.

I imagine there may be other symbols, or historically significant events, that are highly emotive for many reasons, across the world, and I wouldn’t know (I’m British and have lived here all my life so assume most of my knowledge is of history from the British taught perspective), as well as day to day etiquette.

I was wondering if any MNers have some examples they could share so I could learn more? Like common offensive errors that people not culturally aware make in other countries, or significant historical events or symbols about which the unaware could cause offence through ignorance?

Wearing a bag with the strap diagonally across your body in Fiji I believe. I can't remember why! Also if you walk in front of someone you should bow down so your head isn't in their line of sight.

Shoes off in Hawaii too!

Australian here, but my parents are Deaf and I've lived in aboriginal communities in remote australia so I have a few interesting examples.
In Deaf culture:

• look people in the eye when talking to them, don't turn your head or look away as it's considered rude
• rude to leave an event without saying goodbye to everyone, particularly the hosts
• perfectly acceptable to point as it's part of the language

In some Australian aboriginal cultures:

• Rude to make sustained eye contact with people older than you or people in positions of respect ie police, teachers etc
• this may just be specific to Yolngu in Arnhem Land, but it's highly offensive to say that a baby looks like their mother, as culturally it implies that the mother cheated on the father (it's a very mysoginistic, patriarchal culture, still has forced arranged marriages and polygamy but only for the men of course).
• don't point with your finger, but gesture with your whole hand. Likewise, telling people to "come here" with one finger curled, as both these gestures mean penis in Arnhem Land. Instead, people use their whole hand, or point with their lips.

And I've even noticed differences in mainstream australian culture from Sydney where I grew up to the Northern Territory:

• personal space bubbles. In Sydney, you can stand closer to people or sit near people at restaurants as it's crowded etc but in the more rural places people expect you to stand a lot further apart, and to sit as far away from strangers as possible at restaurants and pubs etc
• Shoes off when you enter a house in Darwin (probably influenced by significant Asian migrant population here), in Sydney it depends on the host

Thailand - never touch someone's head without permission, and never put your feet near someone's head. Don't criticise their royal family.

My DH is Thai and I was going to talk about the soles of the feet thing but a few people beat me to it!
A bit more info on what twentypence said about never insulting the Thai Royal Family - that also extends to things you would see as an accident. I.e. a bank note blowing past in the wind and you stomp on it to catch it?
You will cause mortal offence for stomping on the King!
Depending on how picky the police are feeling that day, it’s a jailable offence.

Many years ago I either read or was told that it was rude to sit with your feet directly pointing towards another person in Japan. So if you're on a train, in a meeting or at someone's house, you have to turn your toes away from whoever is opposite you. I have absolutely no idea whether this is true though - any Japanese experts willing to clarify?!

People often think Polish people are rude - especially in situations where the staff in a service role are concerned.
We aren’t rude, we just don’t like making small talk with strangers when we are working a job that requires hard work for shitty pay. We are actually very polite and hospitalbr people when the situation calls for it - for example: come to my mum’s house for dinner and she will treat you like royalty. Encounter my mum as a waitress in a busy restaurant, she would most likely say the minimum required to take your order, plop your food down and disappear.

@MyBreadIsEggy I worked in hospitality in London for a long time, and part of my induction training for new staff (Poles, Lithuanians, Swedes mainly) involved an explanation of how many times a British or American customer might expect them to say please or thank you during one transaction! Hint: more than they thought.

Women from India will not look authority figures eg judges in the face as that is considered rude so will speak with head down. It’s discomcerting at first because it’s the opposite of the Anglo-Saxon perception.

Another Thai thing that I was very taken aback by when I first met my MIL: it’s still a traditional, patriarchal society, especially among the rural northern people. So it’s polite for a woman to address the most senior man in the room rather than anyone else, so for example: if DH and I are sat in MIL’s kitchen, she won’t directly ask me if I want a cup of tea, she will ask DH “Would your wife like a cup of tea?”. As soon as DH is gone, she will chat to me like any normal MIL. But if DH is in the room it’s more formal, even though he’s her son.
I found it all very strange, and quite rude when I first met her, but now I understand that it’s just a cultural thing!

Don’t call what we call kristalnacht that in Germany.

Also extremely rude in Thailand to refuse food/drink if offered it in the host’s home.
I really struggled with this when DH and I first started dating because his mum has some questionable food hygiene practices, and if I saw certain food prepared, the last thing I wanted to do was put it in my mouth
Then I figured that MIL scared me so much at first the salmonella was worth it

Chariots what do you mean? Don’t use the phrase “kristalnacht” or don’t use the English version?

The Chinese have quite a few food/eating "rules".

One is, when serving yourself from a dish of food, always take the portion closest to you, don't reach across to take that larger succulent piece on the far side of the dish.

Mybread dont use the word kristalnacht. It’s seen as the nazi description.

Chariots good to know....although anything relating to WWII has never been on the tip of my tongue when I’ve been in Germany in the past! Never knew who it might offend so I assumed it was just a subject best avoided

In the Arab world, you shouldn't sit with the soles of your feet pointing at anyone - so sit with your feet tucked behind you if sitting on the floor (not cross legged) and if sitting on a chair, don't cross your legs with your ankle resting on the opposite knee.

In Maori culture, three I can think of are:

Don't put your bum on any sort of table
Don't touch the head
Don't play with food (e.g. playcentres have stopped making macaroni necklaces, pictures etc, as being culturally inappropriate to NZ's indigenous culture).

Like MyBread I've always avoided mentioning WW2 in Germany, but out of interest, how should one refer to kristalnacht without offending?

This book is useful

Kiss Bow or Shake Hands 2nd Edition: The Bestselling Guide to Doing Business in More Than 60 Countries www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1593373686/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_nCVtCbBQT39RK?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I had a minor one with a Spanish friend when I went to her house for the first time for coffee. I brought a packet of shortbread because I'm Scottish, and you bring a wee something with you when you go to visit.

She was mortified that I'd brought it - presumably a cultural thing about the host being the one to provide the food .

So difficult - it's really hard for me to override my cultural norms to conform to hers (although obviously I do!).

I used to work with a Chinese woman who would spit into the bin by her desk with alarming regularity. Usually accompanied by a great hocking noise.

I thought this was just her until I stayed in an Air Bnb and was chatting to the owner who said that she refused to rent her home to Chinese people because they kept spitting everywhere.

So maybe that's a cultural thing?

There is also a Japanese lady at work who does huge, lengthy farts in the steam room (I work in a leisure centre) and isn't remotely embarrassed. So I've often wondered if that's more socially acceptable there.

thatmustbe I think anything to do with spit/snot/phlegm is just more socially acceptable in China than it is here I was stood at a bus stop once, and a Chinese family were there (definitely Chinese as the kid had a backpack decorated as the Chinese flag). The dad proceeded to close of one nostril with his finger and blow an enormous glob of snot onto the floor I wanted to throw up, but he wasn’t remotely phased that he’d just done that at a crowded bus stop!

You take your shoes off in homes and temples in Sri Lanka. You also can't drink, eat or smoke in
temple areas. And you mustn't blow your nose at the table. It's very rude.
You must eat with your right hand. That applies to India and a lot of Arabic countries too. Because you wipe or wash your bum with your left hand.
It was considered to be very rude to call someone a pig or show the soles of your feet in Dubai, Kuwait, Saudi, Morocco, and Iraq. I'm guessing that makes that rule applicable to most Muslim countries. Actually you couldn't blow your nose at the table in any of those places either.
I remember in Japan if you want more drink you ask everyone at the table and you had to look them in the eye doing it before you served yourself. I quite like this. It felt polite and considerate.

Don't call Inuit people Eskimos without checking before you go. Some do call themselves Eskimos, most don't.

I think this applies to many indigenous peoples. I referred to a Shoshone tribal elder as a "Native American" his reply was that he was an Indian, as anyone born in America was a Native American.