Tips for helping a 4 yo, 5 yo and 8 yo be on time

[ISaySteadyOn]

I dread every morning because, as hard as I try, I can't get them to understand that time passes and that it is rude to their teachers to be late. We lay out uniform, I wake them up, I give them breakfast. And I just can't move them on. I hate lateness and so I get upset whi ch doesn't help.
School has no consequences and I feel ashamed every day esp as we live within walking distance. Am I just a bad mother?
Anyway, advice welcome

Start everything earlier. Aim to be 20 minutes early for school every day to give yourself more leeway.

What are they doing when you can’t get them moving?

Agree with Sirzy the first thing is to get them up earlier. School may have no consequences but do you? Are there consequences for not doing as they are asked, for making you late?

Mine are sloths too. I find when I get a bit a bit mad, they start moving, but I hate starting the morning getting mad.

I like Sirzy’s advice though. Maybe just imagine the school starts 20 minutes earlier than it does.

I've tried getting them up earlier. The problem is they are easily distracted.

Fwiw, the 8 yo is getting better

Don’t give them time to distracted then. Keep things moving, remove the distractions. Put in consequences for not listening.

Do they get ready before breakfast? This is the biggest thing that has helped with getting ds to school on time.
We get up, he gets dressed and teeth brushed, then downstairs for breakfast. Then wash face, put jumper/socks on before toys or screen time.
All uniform laid out the night before, bags packed, lunches made etc.

DS has recently started asking to leave early for school so he can play with his friends on the playground before school starts. Would this work as encouragement for yours?

What is distracting them?

Get up earlier. Is it the moving from one task to another they find difficult?

Try a noise, or a song. Ringing a bell or singing go and get dressed, go and put your cloooooothes oooooon (Eliza Doolittle style).

If they struggle with completing all the ‘getting ready’ tasks in order, have you tried writing it all out as a checklist and sticking it up on the wall? They may be dithering because they struggle to hold all the required tasks in their head.

No tv on, no devices in the morning. Wake earlier. All ready with 20 mins to go until maximum time for leaving to be on time for school.

I get mine up and they’re straight into the bathroom for toilet and wash, including brushing teeth.
Then out of pjs and get dressed for school, then hair, then it’s downstairs for breakfast. No tv.
It’s the only way that works for us.

We use Alexa for timers to keep things on track

Have you tried actually writing down what they need to do (maybe with pictures for the younger ones). Have it as a check in a prominent place. It could be that they find it difficult to remember what tasks they should be completing and which they have already done.

Mine are under the impression we need to leave at 8:25. We don't we can leave as late as 8:40 & still be on time. Could you try similar or have they already worked out when you need to go? Mine need a lot of chivvying some mornings too. I will admit I still put the 3yo in the buggy some days though for the walk to school as he's easily distracted.

What time are they getting up? Do they have children's tv on? Also does the 4yo still need help dressing?

If it helps mine get up at 7:20 ish & are eating breakfast by 7:30. The older 3 (8, 7, 5) start getting dressed at 7:45 & are usually brushing teeth & doing hair by 8. While they're doing that I get the 3yo & 1.5yo dressed & make packed lunches. I then get their teeth & hair done while the big 3 take everyone's shoes & coats in the kitchen. 8:20 I set the buggy up & put either 1 or both children in it. Then we leave at 8:30ish. I normally jump straight in the shower at 6 so am already ready. Radio 4 in the morning or BBC breakfast if the sitting room tv is on. They do, on occasions, take an unusual interest but it's normally boring enough not to distract them

Give them a list of things to do in order and get them to took when done. If they have done them on time (set this to be 10 mins before you need to leave) then give them a piece of pasta in a jar. Once the jar is full they get a treat eg film with popcorn and hot chocolate.

I agree that getting dressed needs to be done before breakfast. Hassle them to get downstairs quickly. If they get distracted they have to get dressed in the kitchen in front of their siblings. Get toothbrushes and toothpaste in the kitchen to brush teeth by the sink.

You need to be up and dressed before you start trying to get them up so you can hassle them constantly!

We use Alexa for timers too. So we have multiple timers set - one for "Go upstairs and clean your teeth", one for "Coats and bags, shoes on". If the timer goes off they know they're behind.

All kids get distracted. Your job is to keep them on task. Get up earlier, nag more frequently.

This is what worked for me personally (this won’t get MN approval but hey ho)

I decided I didn’t want to be stressed and shouty every morning. Bottom line!

I accepted that we had different priorities. Coloring in a picture, finding a missing LEGO brick, watching a bird in the garden are all perfectly legitimate priorities. My priorities were eating breakfast, getting dressed, getting teeth brushed and getting to school on time. No 4 or 5 year old ever has had those priorities and honestly, wouldn’t you be very concerned if they did?

We get up early enough to allow a bit of time for these crises of great importance.

At 4 and 5 I was helping my dc get dressed. Yes they can get dressed but it’s a very big, boring and stressful thing. Once I gave up on expecting them to get dressed and just built in a bit more time, it all got easier. And it was a nice chance to snatch a few cuddles and pamper them a bit. They push you away soon enough and get all independent so I promise you that it won’t stunt their progress.

We do “time checks” where I shout “time check” and they let me see how they’re getting along. It’s a non confrontational way to remind the one with his nose in a book that time is moving on.

And finally I have a reward system for getting out of the house by a certain time. It’s one of the jobs/tasks that I assign points for that get exchanged for screen time.

When DD2 was younger the routine was:
Out of bed
Downstairs
Breakfast
Teeth/Wash downstairs
Get dressed in living room.
School reading / Short Play
Shoes & coat on.
Leave.

No electronics.

Not letting them e upstairs out of your sight is key imo.

We have never had screens in the morning.

The checklist is a good idea and I just need to implement it. Thanks.

Surprised how many people brush teeth after breakfast.

Don’t most dentists advise to brush before having any food or drink (that isn’t water). We always brush first thing

Surprised how many people brush teeth after breakfast

What?? Never been advised that. Worse to leave wheat and stuff etc all over and in their teeth surely?

Im often on my own with the kids as husband works away for days at a time. We: wake at 6am. Milk, then breakfast at 7ish. Brush teeth, get dressed by 7.45. Leave house between 8am or 8.10 depending on who is going in first.

Up and dressed before they even come downstairs. A few mornings without breakfast because they have run out of time will sharp focus them.

Dimsum how long have you been on Mumsnet? Threads on it can get very heated haha. Worse than arguing over the right way to do Christmas!

It sort of depends what you have for breakfast, we do often have orange juice out at breakfast and it is quite bad for teeth to brush them within half hour of drinking juice (or coffee, which me and DH always have!), so we brush first thing.

Not sure about the stuff on your teeth argument, as soon as they’ve had a snack or lunch at school they’ll potentially have food residue and still have hours to go before brushing their teeth before bed.

I use playing time as a motivator. DS (5) now gets dressed super fast as soon as he has been to the loo, as it means he has time to play a bit