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Original poster

Tips for helping a 4 yo, 5 yo and 8 yo be on time

37 replies

ISaySteadyOn · 22/01/2019 09:32

I dread every morning because, as hard as I try, I can't get them to understand that time passes and that it is rude to their teachers to be late. We lay out uniform, I wake them up, I give them breakfast. And I just can't move them on. I hate lateness and so I get upset whi ch doesn't help.
School has no consequences and I feel ashamed every day esp as we live within walking distance. Am I just a bad mother?
Anyway, advice welcome

OP posts:

VenusClapTrap · 22/01/2019 21:52

Mine get weekend screen time points for getting dressed quickly without having to be reminded. This has worked very well with the 6yo as he is very motivated by screen time rewards and horribly competitive - likes to have more points than his sister. 8yo is a total day dreamer and I despair of her ever managing to get herself ready for anything without constant nudges.

AnotherPidgey · 22/01/2019 22:47

Less time and keeping it tight with pressure works better for us. Allowing more time lets me feel "safe" then focus drifts and then hell breaks loose.

I've given up nagging about clothes. They have the pile on their beds which is pretty generous as what they need is stored simply in 3 consecutive drawers. It's only 4 or 5 items . I normally make something like eggs on toast for breakfast. They are motivated by breakfast and have to be dressed to eat. Once they've eaten, they tend to be more amenable. Teeth are then brushed downstairs to cut aimless wonderings and wanderings upstairs. Shoes are supposed to be stored in a cupboard and they are prompted to do this each evening. It is not a fool-proof system!

They are improving with age and my 5yo is more independently minded than my 8yo. It is still a daily battle. We are one of the closest families to school and usually are just on time (but at least not habitually late). I have a target time and each day, something eats the contingency up.

Original poster

ISaySteadyOn · 23/01/2019 10:59

Tell me about it. I wish I could be calm and rational but I am not. DD2 home today as not v well but she is using her small energy to make a cat shaped checklist, bless her.

OP posts:

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4 year olds 5 year olds 8 year olds Behaviour & development

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 23/01/2019 12:09

For a short time, we made DD get ready in our room so that we could make sure she was getting on with it! Worked and she is much better now. She wasn't getting distracted just being really fiddly or slow with things!

redexpat · 23/01/2019 14:07

My mum alaways had the clock in the hall set 7 minutes (or some odd number between 4 and 10) fast.

ASK01 · 23/01/2019 20:21

Bribery! I was getting the rage every morning at all the faffing going on. Flipped it now so that if she’s ready in time she has time to play before we leave. 2 weeks in and it’s still working a treat!

fluffykinscat · 23/01/2019 20:24

We have strictly no TV before school.

Sometimes a "race" to see who can get dressed fastest (always dressed before breakfast! Breakfast only when dressed, it's a good motivator....)

I use one of those art apron things on DD that covers sleeve to neck over the school uniform while eating breakfast in case of spillage. Ok it looks silly for 5 minutes but saves changing clothes!

Book bag etc ready the night before to go.

I get dressed while she is eating her breakfast then we can dash out the door!

Wearywithteens · 23/01/2019 20:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

ErictheGuineaPig · 23/01/2019 20:34

I don't know if it's just the way you've written it but it feels to me like you're approaching this the wrong way. The responsibility for them being on time is all yours at this age. It's up to you to manage them and their time keeping. I broke the morning into chunk when mine were little. We had x amount of time for breakfast and then we moved on - regardless of how much they'd eaten. If they were dawdling getting dressed then I got them dressed. They have all grown up able to sort it themselves now but there was no way I would have even given them the option of making us late for school.

Original poster

ISaySteadyOn · 24/01/2019 09:54

Of course it is. Why else would I have posted asking for help to get them moving?

Fwiw, we were on time today. We used silliness and the cat shaped checklist DD2 made. She loved seeing what she needed to do next especially as she'd listed all the things herself.

OP posts:

goldengummybear · 24/01/2019 10:23

I would personally tell them that bedtime will be brought forward for each minute that they are late for school.

How long between waking up and leaving the house?

magratvonlipwig · 26/01/2019 23:07

Agree surzy and lemon.
Aim 20 mins early to give you a margin of error.

You dont need to convince them its rude to be late
You show by example that its absolutely uncompromisingly non negotiablely not happening!

Explain when theyre ready to listen

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