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Woman at kids swimming had a go at me!!

58 replies

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:14

Hi, I just wanted some thoughts on something that happened to me when taking the children to their weekly swimming class at the leisure centre. Last week we walked in and found a quarter of the bench had someone's belongings laid out unattended and then a large gap in between and a cardigan on the end of that gap. There were still 10 minutes until my sons lesson was due to begin so me and my 3 children sat down in the empty space not realising someone had got up and gone into the changing room. Fast forward a few minutes and the mum returned and proceeded to angrily grab her cardigan from the end of where my children were sat and then came upto me and rudely said "can you move" No please, no smile, nothing. Not being confrontational I told the kids to budge up even though I did think she could have moved some of her belongings around or put them into her lap as her son's lessons was ending. She then sat down with so much force so close to me we were hip to hip. I couldn't move up any more as someone else was now sitting on the other end so I put my youngest on my lap to make some more room and get away from her 😫 I told dh when I got home what happened and he was less than impressed by her attitude 🙄 So today was the next lesson and dh came along too as he was off work so he took the younger 2 kids in to the pool while I took older son to get changed. I came out to discover he was sitting next to the woman from last week (her belongings spread over a large section of the bench again!) There was a space next to my dh for me to sit but as I approached I saw an almost empty water bottle next to him so I waited to see if she would move it which I assumed she would if it was hers but she completely ignored me and was looking straight ahead as I awkwardly stood in front of them so I just slid it across towards the lady and sat next to dh. It would be an understatement to say she had the overreaction of the bloody century! She got SO angry and was barking at me how dare you touch my stuff thats so rude of you. I was so genuinely shocked at her reaction I was thinking of the quickest way to diffuse the situation so just said "I didn't know it was yours" and looked the other way. But no, that was not what she wanted to hear she started on dh and boy did she pick the wrong person to have a go at. She was speaking about me as if I wasn't there and telling him "why is she so rude she needs to apologise to me for touching my stuff!" "I can't even drink this now it's useless to me how do I know if she just went to the toilet?!" That was very insulting considering she pretty much just accused me of not washing my hands after going to the loo 🤨 Dh gave as good as he got and I had to intervene to tell him to leave it as it was clearly pointless and she just has a stick up her butt about something and has been taking it out on me for no reason at all. How should I deal with this lady when I bump into her again next week?! I was considering putting a complaint in to reception but I don't want to cause any unnecessary problems if our children's classes are one after another and we're bound to see each other regularly 😩😭

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 21/01/2019 22:17

Is there not another bench to sit on?

SwearyInn · 21/01/2019 22:20

If she leaves the bench for a few moments next week superglue her stuff to it.

NoSquirrels · 21/01/2019 22:21

She clearly has issues. Sit somewhere else. Life's too short to argue with people who are batshit and spoiling for a fight.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:21

Unfortunately not 😬

OP posts:
Cyberworrier · 21/01/2019 22:21

I would try to avoid- doubt you will be able to reason with her and it sounds like any more confrontations would just be scary and stressful! Your husband arguing back is meeting fire with fire. Complain at the reception again if there really is nowhere else to sit or if she is aggressive again.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:22

I would just move elsewhere if I had the option but there's one bench on each end of the pool for the 2 separate lessons.

OP posts:
CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:24

Just pretend you don’t remember who she is if she says anything.

She’s clearly bat-shit.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:25

I mean was I overstepping a boundary by moving a bottle I wasn't sure was hers? 🤔 I'm fighting myself now wondering if I was in the wrong.

OP posts:
CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:26

I don’t know. I’d have asked her to move it to be honest but I also wouldn’t give two shits if someone moved mine. In fact, I’d probably apologise.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:27

Exactly! Thats what I said to my husband that if someone did the same to me I'd apologise and make some more room for them had I not noticed they were looking for a seat!

OP posts:
CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:29

Don’t let her beat you down.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:30

Thank you x Was feeling like complete shit when I got home and legs were still jelly 😶

OP posts:
Cyberworrier · 21/01/2019 22:31

I would have said oh sorry didn’t realise it was yours if I was you but I am possibly over polite/apologetic! I agree withCandle, pretend you don’t remember her. Be polite but don’t really engage. If she says why are you sat here, just politely say you are waiting for your child. If she complains you’re invading her space, say unfortunately there aren’t enough seats for waiting adults to really spread out.

Cyberworrier · 21/01/2019 22:31

Confrontation is horrible. Try not to worry about it!

RiaParkinson71 · 21/01/2019 22:32

Get there before her on your next visit and put your towel and stuff out first. A bit like as if you were on holiday.

Or, Superglue the whole bench so when she sits down she will be stuck to it for ever!

Either way, make that biaatch pay for shouting at you!

CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:33

She’s a bully. She wants you to back down. Honestly, pretend you don’t know her. Get her name wrong a few times. Ask her to change the bins.

CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:33

Oh and next time, don’t wash your hands.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:34

Lol Ria I would try and get in first if I could but her son's lesson ends just before my sons begins. So I'll have to just avoid 😅

OP posts:
SarahET · 21/01/2019 22:35

No you weren't being unreasonable moving it. what a nutter she is! Don't do anything differently because of her, who is she to dictate where you can and can't sit. Be polite but if her stuff is in the way ask if she would like to move it herself or for you to move it because you're going to sit there.

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:36

Hahaha candle that's awful 😆 I had so many terrible things running through my head but that's about as far as i'd ever go. Horrible thoughts are where it ends unfortunately. 😂

OP posts:
LadyGrey66 · 21/01/2019 22:38

God you poor thing. Try not to overthink it - you’ve done nothing wrong and she is clearly an angry, unpleasant person.

RiaParkinson71 · 21/01/2019 22:38

How about saw the bench almost but not quite in half. Just enough to comprise the complete structural integrity of the bench. Then when she sits on it...that will learn her!

cavycavy · 21/01/2019 22:43

Our pool has a similar set up with the bench but a sign above it saying “please do not leave your items on this bench” it is totally ignored by everyone and is used by people who don’t have pound for a locker for all their bags.

So, not much help, but maybe your pool could put up a sign or something.

Next time, drop kick her bottle into the pool.

username7000 · 21/01/2019 22:46

Does she think she should have the whole bench ?
Maybe next time just say would you mind and gesture to move her things so you can sit down .
Maybe she isn't comfortable with people touching her stuff , slightly odd behaviour but you may want to keep away from her .

CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:47

Putting your stuff on the bench is an invitation for her to mess with it. Far better to have your kids leave something there then loudly say, Don’t leave your things on there! That’s so inconsiderate of other people!

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