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Original poster

Woman at kids swimming had a go at me!!

58 replies

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 22:14

Hi, I just wanted some thoughts on something that happened to me when taking the children to their weekly swimming class at the leisure centre. Last week we walked in and found a quarter of the bench had someone's belongings laid out unattended and then a large gap in between and a cardigan on the end of that gap. There were still 10 minutes until my sons lesson was due to begin so me and my 3 children sat down in the empty space not realising someone had got up and gone into the changing room. Fast forward a few minutes and the mum returned and proceeded to angrily grab her cardigan from the end of where my children were sat and then came upto me and rudely said "can you move" No please, no smile, nothing. Not being confrontational I told the kids to budge up even though I did think she could have moved some of her belongings around or put them into her lap as her son's lessons was ending. She then sat down with so much force so close to me we were hip to hip. I couldn't move up any more as someone else was now sitting on the other end so I put my youngest on my lap to make some more room and get away from her 😫 I told dh when I got home what happened and he was less than impressed by her attitude 🙄 So today was the next lesson and dh came along too as he was off work so he took the younger 2 kids in to the pool while I took older son to get changed. I came out to discover he was sitting next to the woman from last week (her belongings spread over a large section of the bench again!) There was a space next to my dh for me to sit but as I approached I saw an almost empty water bottle next to him so I waited to see if she would move it which I assumed she would if it was hers but she completely ignored me and was looking straight ahead as I awkwardly stood in front of them so I just slid it across towards the lady and sat next to dh. It would be an understatement to say she had the overreaction of the bloody century! She got SO angry and was barking at me how dare you touch my stuff thats so rude of you. I was so genuinely shocked at her reaction I was thinking of the quickest way to diffuse the situation so just said "I didn't know it was yours" and looked the other way. But no, that was not what she wanted to hear she started on dh and boy did she pick the wrong person to have a go at. She was speaking about me as if I wasn't there and telling him "why is she so rude she needs to apologise to me for touching my stuff!" "I can't even drink this now it's useless to me how do I know if she just went to the toilet?!" That was very insulting considering she pretty much just accused me of not washing my hands after going to the loo 🤨 Dh gave as good as he got and I had to intervene to tell him to leave it as it was clearly pointless and she just has a stick up her butt about something and has been taking it out on me for no reason at all. How should I deal with this lady when I bump into her again next week?! I was considering putting a complaint in to reception but I don't want to cause any unnecessary problems if our children's classes are one after another and we're bound to see each other regularly 😩😭

OP posts:

ImNotKitten · 21/01/2019 22:47

Avoid her if you can. I wouldn’t react if she says anything, just pretend you haven’t even heard her. She obviously has issues, it’s not normal to fly off the handle like that.

mumsastudent · 21/01/2019 22:50

Can you please move your stuff as I wish to use this seat for its purpose - I need to sit down -

penelopepig · 21/01/2019 22:50

I would be ever so politely picking up her stuff and chucking it in the bin.

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/01/2019 22:51

Woman is batshit crazy. Sadly some people are, and there is no logic to it. Avoid, avoid, avoid! Pity her poor kids frankly. I just dont engage with that sort of negativity these days (getting divorced helps you focus)!

Missingstreetlife · 21/01/2019 22:52

Why not ask her to move her stuff so there's room for everyone?

FrancisCrawford · 21/01/2019 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bobbybobbins · 21/01/2019 22:55

You and your kids could all stand right in front of her til she gets the message 😂

CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 22:56

The incredibly childish part of me, would yell, “Yeah, I did wash my hands... after I wanked off your mum.” But I appreciate that not everyone would feel comfortable with that particular retort.

ILoveChristmasLights · 21/01/2019 22:57

Just tell her the bench is forSITTING on, not spreading out her crap 🤷🏻‍♀️

GemmeFatale · 21/01/2019 22:57

Tell her urine is sterile

UnderHerEye · 21/01/2019 22:59

She was a bit rude OP, and some people are unneccessarily abrupt, but to be fair I’m not sure getting your DH to have a go at her paints you or your DH in a good light, if she annoyed you then you either ignore or tell her to shove it, you don’t get your DH to start throwing his weight around - and he’s a massive bellend for trying to intimidate a woman.

RaininSummer · 21/01/2019 23:00

She is a selfish bench hogger with no manners.

Biancadelrioisback · 21/01/2019 23:01

Look her dead in the eye for just too long, then mutter under your breath for a bit, go back to the eye contact and grin like a madman. Shell sharp leave you alone

AnxiousMcAnxiousFace · 21/01/2019 23:03

Bring your own bench next week. Put it directly in front of ‘her bench’ and sit tight.

Original poster

marymary91 · 21/01/2019 23:06

Hi UnderHerEye, sorry i wasnt clear about my husbands part, I didn't ask my husband to get involved she stood up and got in his face 😩 by giving as good as he got I mean he responded back to her in a calm polite way but was defeating her useless arguments one by one. My husband wouldn't have sat back while a woman shouted at him invading his personal space, I'm one to run at the first sign of confrontation but my husband isn't afraid to stand his ground within reason of course. Bearing in mind we had 3 kids with us and we have taught them to always respect other people so we don't behave in ways that are disrespectful. What my husband did was ask if he would like him to buy her another bottle of water and she screamed YES of course! 😩 It wasn't the easiest task to explain to the children what had just happened when they asked why that lady just shouted at us 😩 We just told them she was upset over something and she didn't speak about it in the best way she should have.

OP posts:

Momo18 · 21/01/2019 23:13

I'd quite honestly, yet discreetly tell her to fuckoff! She's off her head and will understand no other language then that tbh. Tell her not to be so inconsiderate and maybe you wouldn't have to move her things.

UnsungHero · 21/01/2019 23:19

I'd just sit down and wait for the show to unfold

Smile at her and wait

UnderHerEye · 21/01/2019 23:20

Sorry OP I got the wrong end of the stick.

I think the best thing to do is crack on and ignore her - if she is there again next week and moans about anything just a sympathetic ‘oh never mind’ and busy yourself with getting changed.

Don’t let this get under your skin or give her headspace (easier said than done I know !) there’s a really good saying I’m going to paraphrase;

Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon- they’ll shit all over the board and strut around like they’ve won anyway,

You will never win with some people- no matter how in the wrong and stupid their behaviour is, or however politely, and assertively, you point it out to them.

MitziK · 21/01/2019 23:36

Next time she's there and drinks from her bottle, just mutter quietly to yourself

'I didn't wash my hands'.

HoppingPavlova · 21/01/2019 23:43

She’s obviously batshit. You don’t seem skilled in dealing with batshit and seem to be taking it all very personally.

If she has belongings in the way and you need to sit down ask her to move them so you can sit down. If she doesn’t or ignores you tell her that if she does not move it you will move it. Then follow through and ignore whatever tirade she carries in with, no need to engage or interact, just completely ignore and read a book or surf your phone. No need to get so flustered about explaining it all to the kids, they don’t need an explanation then and there and if you wish to explain later just factually inform them she is batshit. No need to sugar coat it, some people just are.

I have a child (now adult) that has a condition where they tend not to be aware of much around them or social stuff most of the time. So in this case I could well imagine them having stuff spread out and honestly not being aware that it was precluding others from sitting there. If someone just came up and stared at them they would get rattled and start to lose it inside, they would have absolutely no idea the reason you were staring was to get them to move their stuff. If you then touched their stuff they would explode like a volcano (as they are now stressed someone has been standing there staring at them and they gave no clue why). They would most likely then not be able to touch the stuff themselves and as for a water bottle you drink out of, it would be instantly binned. Yet, if st the outset you politely asked them to move their things so you could sit down they would look and think ‘yes, that makes sense’, they would move their things (probably not saying a word to you as they would view this as something that did not require a response/interaction), you would sit down and everything would be absolutely fine. No doubt you would still go home and bitch to your DH about the inconsiderate person and that they didn’t speak to you though. There are lots of people out there like this, do high achieving uni courses, have professional high achieving jobs that are completely technically based but fail life dismally in a social setting such as taking their kids swimming.

GoldenBee · 22/01/2019 19:00

I'd ask her to move her stuff into a bag on the floor so people can sit on the bench that was put there for people to SIT on. If she doesn't grab something of hers from the bench (nothing expensive or electronic obvs) and instantly throw it as far as you can into the pool. Just something that will dry out fine but will be massive inconvenience to have wet at that moment.

JeanMichelBisquiat · 22/01/2019 19:09

She's clearly bonkers. I'd have a word with the management, as she's obviously a regular.

BentNeckLady · 22/01/2019 19:14

I’d be hoping she was there next time I went just so I could sit on the bench and piss her off. She’s the one with the problem, not you. Wind her up as much as you can and hopefully she’ll fuck off somewhere else.

PixieDust92 · 23/01/2019 23:11

She wants a fuss she will get a fuss is chuck her stuff in the swimming pool 😂

Cornishclio · 24/01/2019 00:08

No you weren't being rude. She was. She doesn't own the seat and I would just say can you move your stuff as there is no where to sit. People should not accept rudeness just to avoid confrontation. No need to get irate. Just ask nicely. If she refuses you have to decide how far you will go to sort it.

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