Ways to boost mood?

[Peepingsnowdrops]

Really trying to be positive and not fall into low mood - have had a hard few years. No job satisfaction and cannot get new employment. Don't see much of dh due to my work pattern. Don't have as good a relationship with parents or many friends I can fully trust and be myself with.
Generally I am well liked and happy I think. I am good to people. But a lot of the time I wish it was 40 years time and I wouldn't be here. I have two lovely children so I can't be like this. They don't know. I don't cry in front of them only when they are in bed.

I find a good walk helps to boost my mood

I need to get outside a bit more yes Thank You

Fresh air and exercise
Healthy meals
Setting goals and doing them
Start a project
Do a course

Learn to knit or crochet. There are loads of videos on YouTube and you can pick up supplies quite cheaply - a 4mm crochet hook and a ball of wool will be less than £5 and you may get them in a charity shop.

Once you have mastered the basic stitches you can make all sorts. If you want to take part in the Woolly Hugs projects here on MN then you can post on any of the active threads. Most projects even have donated wool.

I am applying for a course and think that my keep my mind occupied/ also like craft but haven't tried knitting so will look at YouTube. Thank You

Therapy. You shouldn’t be feeling like you don’t want to be around.

Plus everything PPs suggested.

Definitely a good walk in the fresh air listening to some upbeat music. Also strangely I enjoy cleaning the house. Find it very therapeutic.

Exercise seems to be a key thing.. Cleaning I already do a lot of

Can you start a qualification in your spare time and work towards a new job?
Also, make sure to get enough sleep if you're exhausted.

You need people you can really talk to. Your low mood may be making you believe you can’t trust people, try opening up (to someone understanding!) about how you feel or see a councellor.

It’s not normal to spend a lot of time wishing you weren’t here, you do sound in a bad way.

Make a list of a few things that make you happier and do them every day. Stay away from things / people that get you down.

If you’ve suffered a bad few years it’s not surprising it’s got to you. Do you wany to talk about those things that happened?

It is possible to get rid of these feelings (I’ve done it) but you do have to take action.

You sound lonely and lacking in any real connection with any other adult which is damaging as it makes you isolate yourself more after a while. Is there anyone at work you could ask out for lunch?

No matter how lovely our kids are they can’t replace adult company.

If your GP is good you could go see them. Just be careful as they may just send you off with pills.

Talk to DH, might he be able to come up with some ideas to help?

Yes it’s important to stay away from people who get you down even if it seems your being rude by avoiding them you have to protect yourself.
You know what iv been in the best of form all week I went to the gym all week and it’s boosted my mood so much I’m surprised as I think I’m a happy person everyday but this exercise is making me even more buzzing I wasn’t expecting it.
Could you make it to your local park run? You can take the kids to that

There’s a few things.
Doing fun activities with my kids.
Doing a Deepak Chopra body scan (YouTube) is hugely beneficial for me.
Exercise that I enjoy (swimming, walks, yoga)
Doing a hobby I enjoy (art, reading, gig, cinema )
Connecting with people who I enjoy being with. (This one can be tricky depending on circumstances).
Years ago I went to a phychptherapiat, that was such a positive thing to do.
Life has ups and downs. I’m sorry It’s difficult for you now.

Do you like cooking? Can you cook?

Thanks so much for all of this. Few things - at work I was really happy and successful. I have loads of qualifications/ Masters and two further postgrads. Got hwadhunted for a job part time that in something very meaningful still in a job for nearly two decades.
I have a parent who is very demanding and my work is quite sad/ low mood and s lot of conflict. My in laws are nice but needy. My children are young (still very needy). Dh is good but it's a struggle to get him to do new things or see that life is not about work. So I have to arrange all days etc.

I don't have a large established friendship group and friend have used me in the past so I just cut them off. One long term friend just bored me to tears with moaning and spiteful jealous comments. Another used me to go out and as soon as I had a baby didn't contact me ever again. So I can't really be bothered with people.
At work there's always someone create issues when there really isn't. I am trying to change career but I don't live near a city and we have high unemployment here.

Vitamin D supplement

Definitely vit d spray and magnesium salt baths.

Do you have one friend, anyone, you can go out for a night out with and just be you?

Try to do just one thing YOU like as often as you can. Even once a week. It'll be something to look forward to. If you're the sort of person that is happy in their own company that's fine. If you like other people's company sometimes, but not too much of it a weekly hobby outside the house won't put you under pressure. Also most important, cut out people that don't make you happy and take time with new friendships (basically so you're not putting yourself in an awkward position that'll cause more stress) ie. Trying to avoid them etc if you realise it's not what you want.

If you do become interested in knitting, I would suggest joining a local knitting group. There are loads all over the country and I have joined my local group. It is a really lively group of men and woman, who are friendly and upbeat. You do not have to be a knitting supremo to be part of the group, just enjoy knitting. :)

You are a bit 'stuck' and it's hard emotionally when you're in a job where you have to resolve conflicts all of the time. Are there are any school parents you could start chatting to? I found a couple of nice friends this way. Have you and dh discussed him taking a more active part in family time? If you feel you are mildly depressed then I would say visit the GP as medication can help but takes a while to work. Other than that, it's all about self caring and trying to find time to do things for yourself. Once your children are older and less needy things could well be better.

Just read thru your posts again. It seems like there's no me time for you. Demands are being made on you and your time with little in return. You're in that awkward position of having young children plus parents and in law's who seem little help. Having been in a similar position myself my advice is to make small changes now to help get you to that life, which I think you miss and want. A bit more of the old you back, less drudgery perhaps and general optimism.
If you're financially in a good position and generally happy with your husband and he's a good man please see the positives in what you do have. Don't let people that drag you down into your life. One day I'm sure you will if you want to find a good friend. As for family it is a bit different but can be worked on if they are good people. Please don't wish your life away. It may all seem bleak now but things will change, you just have to put a little effort in to start with and you will gradually get stronger and things will get easier.

It does sound like you have a lot of demands on you. You feel as if everyone expects and takes a lot from you?

Start telling people you can’t do things - in laws, DH, and even your children can maybe do more for themselves if they are not babies?

I left a draining job, I don’t personally feel i can balance it with kids, I don’t have the headspace. Now I do flexible simple work with nice people (not in an office!) that pays the bills. I also have a day in the week to myself to do chores or rest if nec.
Depression alerts us something is wrong, that can’t be fixed with pills alone.

Would your dh mind if you showed him this thread?
Maybe he might see your problem written down might get him a to understand a bit more.
Work on him a little to try and do something fun and random like rock climbing or hill walk you have a partner to do things with the men drag there heels so give him a little push to get him to have fun with you. He’s the key.

I simply cannot thank you all enough for the replies. Many of you have hi t the nail on the head. I do have people I can talk to who 'get' me. Our dc are gorgeous and money is ok so I know I need practical ways to feel better. I really need to be 'me' again. I have lost my sense of style. I used to love gym / facials and travelled. Night clubs most weekends. Life moves on but I need to get some things back.

I bought new make up a magazine and small bunch of tulips today. Just going to take small steps.