Should I take dd in with me when dropping of DS?

[cakequeenn]

Just wondering if I'm a shit mum here or not when I drop DS of into nursery I leave dd 4months asleep in the car. I'm probably 2-3 mins max I know some other parents leave theirs but some bring all their kids in.

Just wondering what everyone else does and whether I'm being cautious enough?

Where's the car? In a car park or on a road? Can you see it?

I would take the baby with me but am not in the least bit outraged at the thought of another parent leaving their baby in the car.

Can you see the car? If yes go ahead. If no then take baby with. It is a pita in cold or wet weather but there you go.

Depends where the car is parked. If it’s in nursery car park that’s fine imo and I’d do the same. If it’s parked down gone street, out of sight, maybe not so fine.

I always took my baby in whilst dropping the toddler. When she was very small I carried her in in the car seat. Then in the carrier. Now she goes to nursery too, I carry her in (and all the bags) and we drop her big brother off first. I considered leaving her in for drop off but couldn't do it myself. However, I do suffer from anxiety issues so I do what I need to do to keep that at bay.

I usually left my baby in the car. It was an enclosed car park right in front of the big windowed front. I normally took him in to collect her though because I wanted him keeping awake.

On here I've noticed how so many people say they wouldn't leave their baby in the car even to pay for petrol. I have honestly never ever seen anyone take a baby or young child into the kiosk to pay for fuel. So I take what I read on here with a pinch of salt, it's either that or assume I live in an alternate universe?!

I wouldn't leave them in car while I went to kiosk (due to anxiety). So I always go to the pay at the pump garage.

I can see the car nursery is facing the car park so can see everything.
@GrammarTeacher wow that's a lot! Would take me forever faffing around with a car seat.

Oh dear. Sorry but that’s a no no usually OP.

I left DD1 in the car a couple of times when dropping DD2 at nursery when DD1 was 6. I hated it and didn't do it again! Couldn't see the car though. I wouldn't leave a baby to be honest.

@cakequeenn no faffing at all. Car seat when she was small was on an isofix with a carry handle. Easy as. And well worth it as far as I'm concerned.

Those who wouldn't dare leave them in the car, what do you think is going to happen?
(Not rhetorical, I'm interested to know.)

Well, I have a variety of anxiety issues so I could give you all manner of illogical and unlikely what ifs. However, even without that I wouldn't as I don't like the idea of her being upset and scared on her own. I don't know how long drop off will be and the car park isn't visible once you go inside the nursery. I wouldn't judge someone who does but it's something I don't feel comfortable with.

I used to drop or pick up from nursery and leave the baby in the car sometimes if I parked right outside and could see. It was always locked and windows up. Would not do it in heatwave of course or if the baby was crying or distressed.

Dont most people leave them in the car at the petrol station? I have never seen anyone take their dc's in the kiosk at petrol station, unless it is a bigger supermarket type one and you are buying more things.

If you can see the car/it's safe fine to leave baby sleeping or happy. Obviously if you're parked on a busy road, far away, you can't see the car or if the baby is upset most people would just take them in but it's not worth the faff otherwise.

I've never taken dd in to pay for fuel, it's much safer for her in the car with a toy or her tablet than traipsing round the forecourt.

In the school car park, yes I probably would.

Also depends on your drop off. If your son goes in quite happily then fine, you know you'll be out pronto. But if he may wobble then you don't want to worry about the baby while you're trying to settle him

Occasionally I left them, if they’d had a long nap already or were awake I’d always take in. If they were in deep sleep I didn’t wake them to scream the place down. Car on a side road, lots of other parents going in and out.

Tbh, now I’m bigger I sometimes pop in shops rather than the palaver if getting them all in and out. I always ask them, check no one is scared and they know what to do etc

I think it’s fine.

You’ll always get people on MN saying it’s worthy of a SS referral, however.

wasn't there a recent case of a child going missing when a car was stolen? I'm not actually a parent however so can't really judge

A dm at our school leaves toddler and newborn in the car on the side of the school for drop offs.
Toddler usually has a lolly.
Personally I always took the baby.
What if a teacher /parent grabs you for a quick chat? Not always a quick drop off ime.

But as a pp said "what can happen?"

Someone could crash into the car. But cars are very safe these days and as it's in a car park they are not going to be travelling at 50 mph so it would be a prang, it could happen with you in the car too. The baby would not get hurt.

Abduction. Lock the car doors. You can see the car. It's not very likely. Someone could steal a child from you arms, it they wanted to. Or open a door while you are at traffic lights.

The car could catch on fire. It does happen and you would smell it before you could see it, so being further away would mean you noticed later. The doors are locked (see above), so could be a delay in getting your baby out of the car. I do know of someone whose car caught fire in the night and burnt their house. Would be an electrical fault and I'm not sure how quickly they take hold. I'd say you have more than a few minutes.

If someone wants to chat, ask them to walk to your car with you.

So not a problem.

Fine now, given the situation you describe, but as we get into warmer weather, I'd be worried about the car getting too hot.

I didn’t purely because we walk. But other people do it here - small rural village, everyone knows everyone, the parking area is off the main road. You can’t see it from the playground but it’s only behind a fence. People cheerfully leave their dogs tied up outside too, which on MN is usually a sin.

What if a teacher /parent grabs you for a quick chat? Not always a quick drop off ime.

You'd tell them you couldn't chat as you have your 4 month old baby in the car

If my dd is asleep which is hardly ever then I leave her in the car there is a teacher at the gate and I ask her to keep an eye on her it’s just too cold to get the sleeping out of the car.