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Desperate for some perspective please

43 replies

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 18:51

Sorry in advance if this gets long. I'd be so grateful to anyone who bears with me.

I'm a long term poster but NC for this as it's identifying, sad and personal.

We are really struggling with our DS, who is 6, not maybe in the way you expect.
It is less his behaviour we worry about than OUR reaction to him.

He's bright and articulate, charming at school and well behaved, but at home and with other family members we can't cope with his high drama reactions to anything and everything that doesn't go his way. (That's the tip of the iceberg but I really would lose you!).

He screeches and rants, fake cries and gets horrible and unpleasant verbally. Massive histrionics at the slightest thing. And I mean, "would you like to go out for tea?"
He can't say "no" he has to throw himself on the floor in despair and have a meltdown. About absolutely everything. Even good things.

He's got no emotional balance at all. He's totally rigid in his play and his expectations and can't handle any deviation.
He's the same if his friends come to play, ranting and throwing a fit if they won't do exactly what he wants. He's not embarrassed (maybe his age) he doesn't care that they won't want to come in future. He can't (or won't) control himself.

Zero flexibility or compromise at all.
He has no sense of being a "good sport" in spite of many patient and gentle attempts to explain.

It makes him hard to play with for us and family members, hard to socialise with other friends and children. Once he's "lost it" it seems impossible to get him back for a long time and path the time follows is then draining and predictable.
But has proved unavoidable with the various things we've tried.

None of this happened until after he turned 4, which coincides with DC2 being about 6m old. So I sort of put it down to DC2 starting to be more demanding and therefore stealing his limelight. We obviously went out of our way to avoid him feeling pushed out. But that has made no difference.

We have had a calm and peaceful household always - he has literally never been around shouting or high tempers in his life until his own.

Anyway. I could kind of live with all of this in a way, and just grin and bear it until he (hopefully) grows out of it.
But neither DH or I is handling it well. We are at our limits from the minute he opens his mouth. We don't talk at all nicely to him once he starts.

We now have come to react quickly and - I'm ashamed to say - quite sharply / nastily at times.
It's like he's become so wildly infuriating that we can't tolerate it at all. It's like being harassed - that's how it feels, and I think we retaliate in kind now. We can't keep the high ground.
DH shouts quite a bit, me a little less but still more than I want to. I hear my tone to him get so cutting and scathing, like I'm trying to snap him out of it, but it's awful and not the way I ever imagined I'd speak to him. I'm horrified sometimes.

It's like crying wolf or something. Like he's pushed us so far we can't come back from it. He makes us both so angry we can hardly speak, and feel like walking out.

We're different characters so it's strange to me that we've both found he's affected us the same way.
I end up crying and distraught when DC are asleep and vowing to "reset" and find new ways of dealing with it. And within a week we're back where we were. Tensions are so high, and we've both devastated at the thought of our behaviour impacting him in the long term. I feel like we're being bullies and that's so far from how we mean to be it makes me cry just writing it.

I don't know how to change our mindset. How to alter our responses. I wish I had a dial to turn down how much he winds us up.
He's a dear little soul and I want so much to be able to help him. So does DH.

I feel like a totally shit parent tbh. He's adored and well cared for physically, but I'm really at a loss how to be better mentally.

I tried the school who don't recognise the child I describe, and I'm waiting to see my GP to ask whether there is any support for DH and I we could try to "regulate" ourselves better.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart if you've got this far.

I am lost and so, so sad.

OP posts:
breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 18:58

Oh fuck even longer than I feared!

OP posts:
Dextrodependant · 15/01/2019 19:09

Hi, just come along to offer a hand to hold, being in a similar situation. Try to be kind to yourself.

Do you get any time off at all? A bit of a breather might help.

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 19:12

Thanks so much for taking the time to come read my post.

I fear it got so long most won't read it Sad.

Thanks for you, too. We have some good days, but even on those we have to do a sort of dance to try to keep him sweet. It's pretty draining.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time too, and that your DS seems unhappy during the school day. Are the school being supportive? .

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 19:14

The "I love you" thing is interesting isn't it.
DS is desperate for closeness, won't be on his own and begs to share our bed. We don't let him and never have except when he's been ill and I've slept in his room, but I do feel sorry for him.

Does your DS still want to cosleep?

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Dextrodependant · 15/01/2019 19:18

Not all of the time but fairly often he will ask can he sleep with me. I am a single parent so just carry him back to bed when he falls asleep. He likes to hang out just the two of us too, just doing our own thing but in my bed. He hates sharing me too, he even gets jealous of the dog .

I hope you get some more replies, people that can help more than me but I feel for you. It's so hard!

I

Waddsup12 · 15/01/2019 19:18

I have adhd and skip read but have you had him assessed?

I think the advice is that if the behaviour is only at home, take some video.

That sounds a bit like he masks at school?

I'm not an expert and defo not with kids but having spent more time researching neurodiversity, it sounds like he's struggling with regulation and social stuff, as you already know!

Regardless of any SEN, people in my ND groups mention 123 Magic and a quick search it's talked about on here, maybe have a look?

Waddsup12 · 15/01/2019 19:20

I know this isn't what you asked but I'm super-articulate, bright, etc and remember primary school being difficult for me!

TchoupiEtDoudou · 15/01/2019 19:21

My DS is similar though not with his friends only family. We get the screaming and throwing himself on the floor if you dare suggest him doing something he doesn't like doing even if he usually enjoys it.

He's 7 and I spoke to his teacher recently. Between us we realized he has language delays. Although he speaks really well (and is bilingual) and is getting good grades at school he cannot find the words to express his emotions, even though he knows the words when not tired/angry/upset etc. We're waiting on feedback from the school psychologist to see what she recommends.

In the meantime I highly recommend reading the Explosive Child. The basic premise is that all children want to succeed and be good. But if your child isn't it's because they can't. It doesn't matter that maybe they "should" be able to (e.g. Cos of their age) but for whatever reason they have "lagging skills".

For example my 7 year old will scream and cry rather than be able to tell us he doesn't want to go to a certain park we've planned on going to because he wants to play football and balls aren't allowed in that park. Took 20 Minutes of screaming before we worked it out. Went to a different park and he was happy as larry.

3luckystars · 15/01/2019 19:22

There is an excelllent book called ' setting limits with your strong willed child' and it is fantastic. I would recommend it.

However, first I would get him assessed for aspergers or sensory issues.
All behaviour is communication, so maybe he is trying to tell you something but doesnt have the words. He sounds really kind hearted.

Good luck.

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:12

Thanks @Dextrodependant - hope you get some knowledgable help, too!

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breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:12

@Waddsup12 Smile

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breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:23

@TchoupiEtDoudou that's fascinating and very similar.
Thanks.
DS has unusually developed vocabulary, which we often wonder might be misleading as his emotional vocabulary/ sophistication might be further behind it.
I hope the school psychologist has some helpful advice for you.

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breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:24

@3luckystars Thanks for the book tip I'll check it out. And see about getting him assessed.
He is indeed a very kind boy. He adores his sibling, is deeply sensitive and concerned for others. He goes out of his way to be kind and helpful to any child he thinks is at a disadvantage.

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Gertygypsey · 15/01/2019 20:27

I don't want to be an Internet doctor but maybe research asd or pda and see if anything resonates and maybe worthy of further investigation?

rytonsister · 15/01/2019 20:28

Op.

Write just what you did in op to community paediatrician and ask for a full multi disciplinary assessment.

That's how I got a dd for my boy and then learned how to help him.

He is now 27 and has Asperger syndrome

LIZS · 15/01/2019 20:33

Are you or other close family able to spend one to one time with him? It is not uncommon for children with additional needs to suppress emotions and behaviour during school but be more difficult in home or less structured settings.

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:33

@rytonsister Thanks. I think I will do that. I honestly didn't start this post thinking it would go down that route!

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LIZS · 15/01/2019 20:33

Are you or other close family able to spend one to one time with him? It is not uncommon for children with additional needs to suppress behaviour during school but be more difficult in home or less structured settings.

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:43

@LIZS what exactly do you mean? He does get some one on one with me and DH, but not masses. We could orchestrate more?

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LIZS · 15/01/2019 20:48

If you can. It might give you each space to relate to him away from a situation of their competing needs.

Mossop17 · 15/01/2019 20:58

Hi just wanted to say you are not alone here! Take a look at ODD aswell as adhd and PDA. My daughter sounds like your boy she's nearly 9 and not always easy to be around! Then she can be the most lovely child the next day! Good luck with your research. Oh and my girl is fab and school and only meltdown at home which is a characteristic of ODD

Waddsup12 · 15/01/2019 21:09

Ooh, actually, a thought, there is a thing about "doubly gifted" or 2e???

Basically, you can have both a developmental delay and be gifted?

Super confusing for spectators, I imagine!

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 21:10

@Mossop17 I had no idea this was a thing.

A health visitor I spoke to literally told me that I should take his impeccable school behaviour as ...

"reassuring because you know there is nothing more sinister at play. If he had a behavioural problem he wouldn't be able to switch it on and off"....

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breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 21:17

I'll try it @LIZS thank you

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Waddsup12 · 15/01/2019 21:18

It's not a case of switching it on and off. It's more that when more relaxed, the mind is less able to control emotions. Masking takes considerable effort and is not conscious thing.

Check his breathing too. Once he starts to hype up, get him to exhale slowly. Get him to blow bubbles maybe...just been learning about this, we hold our breaths a lot!

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