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Original poster

Oh fuck

30 replies

Suchanidiot123 · 14/01/2019 19:12

Have namechanged for this. I would have posted in conception but don't want to appear insensitive.
As the title suggests I am not trying for a baby. I track my periods on an app which states today I am 8dpo.
I don't know why but something made me do a test today. I can see the faintest of faint lines. It's not as clear in the pictures but I would appreciate your opinions please.
Reasons I cannot have a baby include not being financially able to. I already have 2dc with stbxh and we live in a tiny 2 bed rented house.
I am a student and would have to have to drop out after working so hard to get here (am a mature student).
I've only been with my bf 3 months and have recently been diagnosed with bipolar type 1. It is no excuse but the unprotected sex happened when he was drunk and I was in a manic phase. When I am like that I am highly sexed and partake in dangerous risky behaviour. I'm finally getting help and this would jeopardise all of that.
I cannot believe I have been so stupid.

Oh fuck
Oh fuck
OP posts:
TheCrowFromBelow · 14/01/2019 19:15

I can only see one red line is there meant to be another?
Is there anyone you trust in RL to talk to about this?

TickTockClocks · 14/01/2019 19:16

I can’t see another line. I don’t think you’re pregnant.

H1dingInSight · 14/01/2019 19:16

I can’t see a second line either.

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Sparklingbrook · 14/01/2019 19:19

I can't see any line other than the red one.

Original poster
Suchanidiot123 · 14/01/2019 19:19

Aw thank god. Hopefully it's my eyes playing tricks on me

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 14/01/2019 19:19

Can’t see one either

MummyDummyNow · 14/01/2019 19:20

Definitely can't see another line.

HelenaJustina · 14/01/2019 19:22

No line that I can see. Can you make more permanent contraception choices for the future? Implant or similar?

IsAnyNameAvailable · 14/01/2019 19:24

It's okay to make a choice OP, if you need and want to. I did many years ago (name changed for obvious reasons) due to financial reasons only. It was difficult to do but for me, at that time, it was the right thing. Big hugs for you OP whatever you decide to do.

Going forward, if you potentially engage in risky behaviour when manic, is it possible to have something like a coil or contraceptive implant? Both can be forgotten when done.

Reaa · 14/01/2019 19:26

I'm so sorry but I can see a very very feint line.

Roxybaby12 · 14/01/2019 19:35

Hi,
I’m sorry you’re in a position that doesn’t suit you right now.
I’m also sorry but I can see a faint line on the second pic. The HcG hormone increases every other day so maybe test again in a couple of days to see if it’s darker. Might be worth speaking to you doc about your options if you are preggers.
Good luck with everything. X

Original poster
Suchanidiot123 · 14/01/2019 19:53

Thanks everyone. There does seem to be a faint line in real life but my eyesight isn't the best.
Thanks for sharing your own stories. In terms of contraception I cannot take anything hormone based but actually am booked in for the copper coil in 2 weeks x

OP posts:
MadMum101 · 14/01/2019 20:01

Definitely can see a faint line in 2nd test as per PP.

You need to test for a few more days I'd say.

We all make mistakes. Go easy on yourselfFlowers.

Reaa · 14/01/2019 20:24

It's only faint and I can't tell 100% if it's an evaporation line or not.

Test again in the morning if you can

Original poster
Suchanidiot123 · 15/02/2019 16:55

Just wanted to update as I really appreciated the replies. It's been a rollercoaster the last few weeks.
Kept getting very faint lines on hpt and not pregnant on a digital. A few days after my last post I started lightly bleeding so assumed af but it was very light and pink and only lasted 3 days. Just thought it was a weird period.
Fast forward to last week. Was feeling very sick and crampy so took the spare digital I had which came up pregnant 3+ I checked my app and was only 4dpo so went to the doctor who reffered me for an early scan which I went to yesterday. Pregancy confirmed at 7 weeks!
Still in shock and some very difficult decisions to make now

OP posts:
toomuchtoolittle · 15/02/2019 17:04

Have you told your bf op? Or anyone for that matter?

Original poster
Suchanidiot123 · 15/02/2019 17:05

No haven't told anyone yet. Feel like it would make it real if that makes sense. Think I just need time to get my head around it before telling him. I know he'd love a baby

OP posts:
jess24x8 · 15/02/2019 17:08

I can see a faint line too, but it could be an evaporation line. Definitely test again tomorrow morning or the morning after. Good luck, keep us posted x

toomuchtoolittle · 15/02/2019 17:08

I know what you mean about telling people makes it all real. Good luck with whatever you decide.

picklemepopcorn · 15/02/2019 17:08

🌸

Well done for facing up to the situation. I hope you find a path that you feel peaceful about.

foreverblessedbee · 15/02/2019 17:10

Op, what a huge shock for you. There are lots of people here who will have gone through similar experiences and also not having the the best circumstances for being pregnant. If it helps you to talk it out on here that's great but remember there must be professional advice available, which isn't dependant on that persons own experience or beliefs xxx take care op

Original poster
Suchanidiot123 · 15/02/2019 17:12

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate your words. I'm going to speak to my mental health team Monday and then go from there.

OP posts:
Romanov · 15/02/2019 17:34

whatever you do OP, its ok

best of luck to you Flowers

Salmakia · 15/02/2019 17:41

I just wanted to say that while your new boyfriend may love a baby, you can't bring a child into the world just to please him when it could potentially be detrimental to you and your existing children. Think really carefully about what is right for you and what you need for your existing family, your mental health, financial stability and studies/future career. If on balance you want a baby that's an option but other options are available it is totally ok to choose what is right for you.

formerbabe · 15/02/2019 17:53

Three things...

  1. I can't see a line
  1. If you are pregnant, it doesn't mean you have to have a baby.
  1. Organise some reliable contraception and/or double up and you hopefully won't have this worry again.
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