Horrible experience feeling really shaken

[insidecardboardboxes]

Was just walking down the road (a residential street) with my one year old in his buggy and was about to cross the road when this complete lunatic comes haring down the road, easily doing 60 miles an hour. If I had stepped off the kerb about 10 seconds later he would have hit us both. I shouted at him, more out of shock than anything else and then I see he's stopped his car up ahead. Feeling quite scared so I turned and walked the other way, then he starts following me in his car down the street so I go into a shop and say to the woman I've just come in for a minute because there's a man outside I'm scared of. A minute later he follows me into the shop, gets right up in my face, screaming at me, saying I'm a cunt and a bitch, don't fuck with him, who do I think I am. All while my little boy is crying in his buggy. I really thought he might hurt me. Just stood there blabbering "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry". Eventually he went. Was too frightened he might still be outside so stood in the shop for ages then walked another way home.

Feel pathetic and awful but I'm really shaken up. My stepdad was violent and used to hurt my mother and all I could think of was that this man was going to hurt me and my son.

I'm so scared to go back out now in case I see him again. I walk down that road every day.

I don't know if they have CCTV

I'll be freaked out every time I walk down that road now in case I see him again

OP, how horrendous. I totally feel empathy for you as a similar thing hapened to me when I was 8 months pregnant and carrying my 14 month old on my hip into Sainsburys'. I'd dared to (politely) suggest to a plumber sitting in his van, eating lunch, that he could perhaps not use the mother and baby spaces because other people needed them more than he did. He followed me into the shop, was in my face, screaming about how I was a stuck up middle class bitch, waving his fist in my face - I completely froze and the Sainsbury's staff did absolutely nothing. I was absolutely terrified. I didn't report him, because I was a bit worried I was going to go into labour there and then, so just burst into tears and fled home - after I was sure he'd left.

Well done you for reporting him and I hope they can find him. He shouldn't be driving at all with a temper like that, nor at 60mph! (I shout at speeders on our road all the time - despite the HUGE 20mph roundels people still drive like total idiots).

Well done for reporting OP. I hope you feel better soon.

You can't reason with an brainless moron.

Why on earth do you think you should have stood up for yourself against someone who has no regard for human life.

You can only argue with people with a brain.

The thug would not have cared if he had gone to prison so if you hadn't said sorry who knows what would have happened.

I would be surprised if the shop didn’t have cctv and if it doesn’t I bet there is outside.

God that sounds awful OP. You totally did the right thing by not provoking him further. Aggressive men are incredibly scary.

What a bastard. You did the right thing. I once got physically attacked in a shop by a group of year 10 school kids who wanted me to buy their cigarettes and I refused. Shop keeper did nothing but I did report it and that alone made me feel better. Police went to their school as they were caught on CCTV. Please report it as the guy will no doubt do it again.

Maybe the shop has Cctv?

Need to move out of London. Been here my whole life and it gets worse by the day.

Do you know now I feel terrible I didn't stand up for myself and apologised repeatedly

You did exactly the right thing in that situation, as he sounds completely unhinged. If he can get out of a car and use those words to a woman and baby, God knows what he is capable of.

What a truly disgusting man.

Well done for reporting it. You did not need to apologise to such a foul person.

think I lost DS's rabbit somewhere along the way as well

You did nothing wrong but he certainly did. Most aggressive drivers would have sworn at you and driven on; his behaviour - going after a woman with a young child and screaming abuse - was a different level. You talked your way out of a dangerous situation which protected your son.

You were very brave and your subconscious brain knew exactly what to say and do to keep you and your baby safe.

Well done.

Not ‘I should have stood up to him’! But a heartfelt well done, because you appeased him and calmed him as best you could in the moment, you managed to keep a very scary situation from escalating.

No thanks to that lump behind the counter who sounds utterly rubbish (ok, that’s me being cross and a little unfair, but grrr that she didn’t rush to your aid as soon as the danger had passed, but many people are utterly shite in emergencies!).

Anyway, back to you. In the face of shocking and unreasonable aggression from a man who was physically stronger, and not bound by the limits of normal rules of society, then you did what you’ve learnt to do. Which is not to fight back. You had your baby to take care of and you knew you had to make sure you both came out of this freak encounter ok. You did well. Bravo. X.

Now... who knows what this man was pumped up on. Adrenalin, fury, steroids, testosterone... more, or less of these. Or just anger coming off another argument or bad situation that he cannot deal with, so jumped in his car and drove like crazy, then you come along for him to fix his anger on.

I suspect you are nothing to him. In the nicest possible way (!). You were just another thing to fix his anger onto, a cardboard cut out to vent on. This whole incident was about him, not about you, I bet his ego doesn’t have much room for anyone else but himself.

And that’s reassuring for you I think? Because it means he probably won’t remember much about you. So, unless you have some very recognizable things about you and the buggy, I don’t think he’d even be able to think what you look like.

If it makes you feel better, put that jacket/ hoodie in the washing pile for a week or two, if it’s very recognizable. Although I don’t think that’s actually necessary, but it might make you feel better. And if you’re still worried, you could wear your hair a little bit differently? But only if this is going to help you feel reassured going outside again. If thinking like this makes you feel more anxious then please stop and don’t follow any of these suggestions at all!

I hope your ok yes definitely report , if you did argue he may have attacked you so don't feel daft he was threatening and intimidating. The shopkeeper was probably frightened too but I think they don't want to be a target .
Years ago I was on a busy high street and this man and woman were screaming at each they had a young child who was very distressed. I amongst others were looking over sort of shocked but I suppose because I was nearer the guy came over to me following me in the shop screaming at me to mind my own business etc I never said a word before he was just a bully so thought he'd have a go a me and the shopkeeper , but because I like to stand up for myself I basically told him to F off . Anyway the guy did go but the shopkeeper went mad at me then I think he thought I knew this guy and had brought trouble to his shop . I tried to explain that I didn't know him and he was a nutter but he didn't want to know . So definitely never argue with a crazy person not worth it .

Op sorry this has happened to you. Whilst you can still see his face write down everything about him in case you forget so you can give a good description if the police ask later on. Best wishes.

*society's

How awful. You poor thing. Just to add to what everyone else has said, I think this was just the (really bad) luck of the draw that it was you and not someone else. What I mean is, don't take it personally. I hope you find the confidence to go back on your usual route again soon. As others have said, he will have forgotten about it by tomorrow. Let's hope they catch him soon - sounds as if he needs locking up (well, re-educating, anyway!). He doesn't sound happy, does he? Don't let him make you unhappy too!

ILoveRainbows

My stepfather was a well educated, wealthy, very middle class man and he was still a violent, abusive, aggressive arsehole.

Rainbows Bloody hell! How do you know he's on benefits? Or has children? Or that his parents were on benefits?

I have a friend who's a prison officer and she says that the families who come to visit prisoners are often nice, ordinary people, and bewildered... But I'm going to take your advice and stop arguing with you.

Always someone who likes to derail a thread .
I'd ignore @ILoveAllRainbows comment .

ILoveRainbows

That wasn't a helpful comment.

As @bilbodog said, you should try and write it down in as much detail as possible now while it's fresh in your mind. I know you'd probably like to forget but it would help you feel safer in the long term if the police can investigate it with a good written report.

Thank you I'll write it down