I thi k I have PND and I'm terrified

[Mississippilessly]

My baby doesn't sleep well at night. He naps in his sling so I cant nap then. Next door are having an extension so it's never peaceful. I lost it at DH this morning. I wanted to throw something (not at him to be clear) out of sheer frustration and exhaustion. The only thing to hand was my phone and the cable. So I flailed the cable around. It caught him and he absolutely lost it at me. He called me a child. He has said he cant be certain I wouldn't hurt DS. It has crushed me and he cant see why.
He is going back to work tomorrow and I'm dreading being alone. I am supposed to.be having some girls around on Thursday evening and I'm dreading it. We have DS's baptism on Sunday and have a houseful Saturday.
DH has taken the baby for a walk for a nap. I'm supposed to be sleeping but I'm just lying here sobbing..

Oh OP, poor you.

It sounds like you are depressed. It's hard to work out what's sleep deprivation and what's depression sometimes, but you don't have much to lose,and everything to gain, with a trial of an antidepressant. They are brilliant, they are lifesaving at times, and after 4-6 weeks you should hopefully feel a lot more like yourself.

Is there anyone (DH, MIL?) Who could take the baby, some formula, and any milk you can express and give you a night off? Even if he screams all night, it won't hurt him in the long run for 1 night, and someone will be there to comfort him.

If you are struggling to sleep even when you have opportunity, that really sounds like depression. I have a 10 week old, I pass out on any available surface whenever I have a free 2 minutes!

It will get better. How you are feeling is not your fault.