Is it normal to feel this overwhelmed this frequently?

[HonestlyAmINormal]

Honestly, I don’t know whether I need to get back on ADs (been on them previously for anxiety/OCD as well as low mood).

I often (daily) have moments of feeling overwhelmed....with parenting, with household chores, you name it. Constant questioning of whether I am fucking up my kids and general soul searching of what my life is about

It’s worse when out of routine and school holidays (like now) so maybe I need to cut myself some slack.

Anyone else empathise? Or, if you have got everything sussed, what is your secret?

Anyone?

To be honest though, i realise now that it doesn’t really make a difference how others are coping, I need to decide for myself (with my GP perhaps) whether I can carry on like this or if I need to get back on the ADs.

I feel like I’m already doing as much as I can of the other self care stuff, and it’s not enough, or rather there just isn’t the time an opportunity to do the self care stuff consistently.

Menopause?

ADHD?

I was struggling with this overwhelmed feeling (despite paring life down to the minimum) and it turns out I may be peri-menopausal and I was also dx'd with ADHD. It "looks" very different in middle-aged ladies.

I think I feel a bit like this at times, I wouldn't say everyday but I do get the feeling of being overwhelmed with parenting and household chores in particular (I am a sahm) frequently and I do tend to soul search a bit particularly at this time of year. I think that's why I like to watch TV programmes about people who have changed their lives around.

It's not that I am unhappy with my life but there is definitely an in-balance because we have no extended family and dh is very supportive but works full-time so as you say holidays with my 3 dc (including one fairly young and one baby) can be pretty full on. I have also discovered that I am a bit of an introvert and desperately crave 'me' time to the point where I am quite happy to come home with baby after school run and do my own thing whilst baby sleeps whether that be watch a TV programme or work on my hobby (which fortunately fits around dcs and saves my sanity).
Some of my friends have older children and their homes are pristine now, whilst my house looks very lived in shall we say. I hate the mess but I have learnt to let things go to a point otherwise all my 'me' time would be swallowed up and I think I would become quite angry and sad, so the mess is the lesser of two evils, I suppose.
Not sure if this helps but yes, can empathise with what you have posted.

Yes, I'm 47 and often feel overwhelmed. This Autumn has been terrible.

I work from Home and have found myself having hours of just staring into space or out of a window with a cup of tea in my hand.
I worry about everything and catastrophise everything in my head. Small worries get turned into big ones.

My dd (nearly 14) has had a bad 6 months with her health. We've just seen a neurologist who had ruled out anything very serious but think she is suffering from 'background anxiety' - ie normal teenage worries and pressures she's not consciously aware of. Whilst being totally relieved she's not actually dying, I'm now worried I'm screwing up get life somehow.

I feel guilty about everything, even when it's not my issue or my fault. I even think the dog is disappointed in me sometimes! It's crazy.

I suffered from depression when the dcs were younger but this feels a bit different. I'm unsure what to do.

This Christmas I feel quite chilled, but I'm sure the worries will take over again soon.

Yes, I totally empathise. I have aspergers which explains it in my case, but I don't think it's an uncommon experience for neurotypicals either. I manage it with AD's, mindfulness, counselling and various little coping strategies that are necessary fore not to get completely snowed under.

I have this. A gaping black
abyss can open in my kitchen floor in the time it takes to put a teabag in the bin
It’s better now the dc are older. I think the trick is to feel safe in yourself, for me this has meant forgiving myself for my mistakes however tiny or huge.
I am running a house, but UNICEF. It’s ok if things aren’t perfect.

not

Yes, there's so much that can be overwhelming.

Are you getting any other support without the ADs?

I feel like this currently. I have a history of anxiety, but currently am not on medication.

I actually think being out of routine is what is bringing this on. I am hoping when kids back at school and DH is back at work that I will feel much better. (Actually, not so much the children, but DH doesn't do routine and I find it throws me off too much.)

I feel like this too. I have never been diagnosed with anxiety butI think I do have a constant background low level of anxiety which get worse when I'm too busy, or out of routine, or life is fast and there is no time for a break.

I recently read post on a thread on Mumsnet (sorry, can't remember which one) which suggested I might be a Highly Sensitive Person. I googled the book (of the same name) and did the online quiz - and it turns out I am! Reading the book, and Matt Haig's books, have helped me quite a lot.

My life isn't perfect but I muddle along doing the best I can and try and take the time to remind myself that it is usually good enough.

Thank you for posting - while I sympathise and wouldn't wish these feelings on you - it is nice to know I am not alone. I hope that thought helps you too.

Yep, HSP is definitely a thing & it's best to know as it is easy to get sensory overload.

The adhd dx has been a good thing for me, as now I know it is a lack of dopamine, I pace myself better.

Might tackle the perimenopausal symptoms next.

Try time boxing for overwhelm, so do 15mins of whatever at a time.

Thanks everyone, I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to not be the only one feeling like this. I’m not pre-menopausal (that I know of), bit too young I think. But I am aware that I have an introverted/HSP type personality. Asperger traits too. Don’t think I have ADHD.

I should probably cut myself some slack, I just feel a bit pathetic sometimes and that then doesn’t help matters!

Thanks for recommendations of Matt haig book, will look at that.

I agree it helps to remember that good enough is good enough and to be grateful for small things, and big things for that matter.

And about forgiving yourself.

Thank to everyone who has posted, it has really helped me. Thank you

I hope this thread has/can be of some comfort to others in the same boat.

One other thing, I can probably guess the answer to this....would people you know ever guess this about you? I find it doesn’t help that it seems everyone is coping so well, and I’m just contributing to the conspriracy that “everything is fine”

Melanie I don’t know if I’m getting other support...what does that support look like? Genuine question!

There are a lot of threads like this at the moment. I think it’s a tough time of year for parenting and life in general.
I reckon most people hide these feelings pretty well and function well ‘in public’.

Support-well, even just friends to talk to, or books like the lovely Matt haig to read. But if you were prescribed the ads by a GP -are there follow up appointments? Helpline numbers you know of? Are you checking your diet, exercise, sleep, water intake etc are up to scratch?

Do people know? Friends probably know I'm sensitive; not sure they know I'm anxious - tend to be outwardly cheerful. Probably just think I'm lacking confidence about some things.

Do they know with you, Honestly?

Get a bit of support for the ASD.

Basically it's more tiring to navigate life if you take more in or need to fit in. Social masking is tiring.

Just asked my DH if you would know I struggle & he said no, not really. If you don't actually live with me.

Yeah, support is the self-care stuff. Sleep, food, socialising, therapy if need be.

Maybe 2 people close to me know, but apart from that no, people don’t know, or like you, that I can be prone to a bit of “stress” but not the extent that it affects me or the frequency.

I fear that people already think I am a bit of a glass half empty person, and that’s not an endearing quality is it? I am oversensitve and worry about people not liking me. I obviously know not everyone likes me and that’s fine, but I worry about pissing off the few few friends I’m left with.

Not quite sure what my point is.

Thanks Melanie and ** yes I do generally take good care of myself physically, though there’s probably room for improvement so will look at that over the coming days and weeks. Also will look at specific coping strategies for ASD traits.

Thank you I am so grateful

I have just looked at the Highly Sensitive Person website. I agreed with everything
Actually feel a lot better, why don’t you have a quick look, it might be reassuring.

Very much like this. I’ve had counseling for a while now which helps massively, and I’ve learned to accept it as a part of who I am. I’m very sensitive, empathic and generally very aware, and they can be good things. Now when I’m anxious I try to hold it and bring myself into balance (terrible description, sorry) rather than feeling anxious about being anxious or trying to ignore/excise parts of myself if that makes any sense

I keep a list in my notebook which I update from time to time of stuff I need to do, that’s weighing on me or niggling and try to work through them (often I need help with this) but it honestly amazes me how much generalized anxiety and low mood can be caught up in something quite simple like needing to take the dc to the dentist or chasing up an appointment. I often don’t recognize that these things are linked and I’m an awful procrastinator.

Hi op wow I could have written your post, it's exactly how I feel too.

I think that there is so much pressure to be perfect these days, Instagram is full of pristine houses, women who look amazing etc etc, people don't tend to post the house looking like shit creek and their hairy legs.

I have a ds with Aspergers, he's almost 16. I see so many of the traits in me.
I was diagnosed two years ago with OCD which I have suffered with my whole life. I also have anxiety ( am medicated ) and fibromyalgia ( also medicated ) and feel like life is such a struggle for me.

I would be interested in a support thread if you fancy it. Our safe place to come and let it all out and know that there are others who feel the same.
Acceptance is hard but I'm very aware of my limitations and have stopped putting so much pressure on myself. It has helped ;)

I feel like this every day, especially this autumn and winter. I have middling anxiety and have been on ADs in the past, I'm seriously thinking about getting back on them. You are not alone!

And only a few people know - I chose to tell a couple of extra people last year (after having some counselling) and they seemed genuinely shocked. One of them said that I was one of the few people she knew who always seemed to have her sh*t completely together. (Hollow laugh).

@Zoflorabore yes I would be interested in a support thread too.

Alana and anun sorry to hear you have similar struggles, it’s so hard isn’t it? Thanks for posting, please join us for support if you would like.

I like the idea of a list of tasks and working through them, I sort of do that already, and to be honest, sometimes it’s a source of stress, but on balance it’s worse to have them whirring around my head than written down.

I have ordered the Highly Sensitive Person book. I do think acceptance (embracing?!) the way I am is key.

Sending strength to all who need it here

It’s normal for me. I have Inattentive ADD, anxiety and depression. (Medicated) I regularly feel this way. I have Uni exams soon, 3DC and I’m a single parent.

I don’t know what it feels like to be on top of everything and relaxed