DP’s dearest wish in life is to Dutch oven me. He’s never successfully managed it, not fully, it always turns into a wrestling match which, if it looks like he’s going to win, I yell ‘I WILL LEAVE YOU AND I MEAN IT!’ and he gives up, because I’m a very bad loser.
He also says ‘I’ll smack your bottom’ if I’ve been cheeky or not given the response he was hoping for, to which I’ll reply ‘go on try it, I will kick you in the face’ and he then makes flappy camp smacking motions at me whilst I do some piss poor attempts at ‘high kicks’ in his general direction.
Sing the theme tunes to our different programmes/box sets we watch together. They all somehow develop their own weird voices/styles and he always asks just before we start one ‘singing or no singing?’ Although even if I choose no singing we still end up singing.
If one of us is driving and accelerates even slightly we’ll put our hand on the other’s knee and say ‘sorry to scare you there babe’.
Lots of songs made up about our dog. Sample example, sung in a dramatic kind of old folk ballad way - ‘he was just a poo poo boy, running around like a poo poo boy, and they called him the poo poo boy, for he was just a poo poo boy’. We make up similar works of lyrical genius about each other too.
We have a shared wedding budget/plan spreadsheet at the moment, he loves adding comments as though he’s my manager querying things or asking for things to be ‘on his desk by close of day, thanks’ and then I add comments with mature responses such as ‘bite me’ or ‘suck it’.
Lots more, we’re pretty annoying.