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Original poster

How did becoming a parent change you?

31 replies

IStillMissBlockbuster · 31/12/2018 21:07

I've been told that motherhood changes you profoundly, did it? How?

OP posts:
FissionChips · 31/12/2018 21:08

Not at all.

poloves · 31/12/2018 21:09

I care more about someone else than I do myself for the first time and it's lovely.

biscuittime · 31/12/2018 21:14

I thought I knew what love was when I married my husband but it is nothing compared to what love for my children is, despite the constant bickering and mess and sleepless nights I love them so much it hurts. I want to be a better person, and fo better at work for them. Being a mother has changed me and it’s made me complete

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WhoAmIToDissABrie · 31/12/2018 21:16

I’m so much more tired.

InAPreviousLife · 31/12/2018 21:16

The 24/7 thinking of someone else and their wellbeing has changed every aspect of me. There isn't a single decision I make beyond the remit of my paying job that isn't influenced by how it affects them.

At first it's overwhelming and it feels like too much responsibility but after a while it's ingrained so that every decision automatically runs through the "does this affect the kids?" checklist.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 31/12/2018 21:18

Completely. I am a totally different person now. Most mums I know say they feel completely different too. I wouldn’t even know where to start but I’ll try...

For a long time your body is not your own. It is back to my own now but little things are different eg my belly button which no amount of diet or exercise will fix.

Constant self doubt and confusion as to the best way to raise children.

It goes without saying I have less free time and am more rushed.

Hardly ever go out to pubs or clubs.

Relationship with DH different.

Relationship with my parents 1000x worse. On the plus side relationship with my in-laws is better.

Totally changed career plans. Partly because I care about different things now and partly a conscious decision to move from previous job which was not family friendly.

Much less money and time. Can’t have a sanity saving lie in every so often.

Housework used to be just something I did, now it is something I do ALL THE TIME!

I used to only have to think about myself, now of course that is not possible.

So many more. Some physical, some mental.

Original poster
IStillMissBlockbuster · 31/12/2018 21:22

InAPreviousLife It's funny because my parents didn't seem to make decisions around me. I was more just there when they did what they wanted (i'm not criticising, just saying, their decisions didn't seem to revolve around their kids).

OP posts:
TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 31/12/2018 21:24

All my decisions revolve round the kids but I don’t necessarily tell them that Grin.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 31/12/2018 21:26

Although I do wonder if it is healthier when kids are their and decisions don’t revolve around them. It’s hard to find the balance. In fact I think that sums up motherhood to me, constantly trying to find a balance.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 31/12/2018 21:27

Oh no MN grammar sin! There not their. Will stop posting now Blush.

WooWoo1000 · 31/12/2018 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

danadas · 31/12/2018 21:29

I find this really interesting. I became a parent at 18 (35 now) so my whole adult life has been as a parent of young children/teens. So it didn't change me. It is who I have always been.

Whompthatwillow · 31/12/2018 21:29

Before I was hardened and nothing got to me. Now everything makes me cry. Fucking home alone 2 and I'm a blubbering mess. Also fat, stretch marked, grey, wrinkled and wobbly. The kid is cute though....

JellycatElfie · 31/12/2018 21:31

I’m a different person. I used to worry about tiny things - now all I worry about are my two children! I am more sentimental. I could cry when I think about how much I love them. And I care what people think of me less because I have two people who love me and their world revolves around me!

InAPreviousLife · 31/12/2018 21:31

IStillMissBlockbuster that's just how motherhood has changed me. My children became my reason for working and waking every day. I'm sure the balance will change as they mature but I get a few short years to make them the centre of my world so that's exactly what I'm trying to do alongside earning money to care for us all.

OhioOhioOhio · 31/12/2018 21:33

Ive had to be so brave

Ted27 · 31/12/2018 21:37

Three stone heavier ( and I adopted !).
I tolerate a boring job because it provides flexible working, part time and the best terms and conditions I could get.
He is the only person on the planet I would throw myself under a bus for

TwinkleMerrick · 31/12/2018 21:43

I just got a bit fatter Grin still the same me but have a lovely baby who I always put first. Just remember it's ok to take 5 mins for a hot cup of tea, get a jumperoo asap! Only time I get a break is when DD is in there xx

evilharpy · 31/12/2018 21:44

It fucked me up really quite badly. I had a baby who screamed during every waking minute for about a year (not exaggerating) and it left me with PTSD and I am now angrier, have a short fuse, am extremely intolerant of noise, impatient etc. I don't like myself at all these days.

pinkiepie1 · 31/12/2018 21:46

I worry more about my dds rather than myself.
I learnt I can get by on 3-4 hours sleep.
And the BIG one..... I can cope when my dds vomit, I don't have to run from the room.
I don't so sick, me or anyone else's. But dds I can cope with and comfort them.

Namechangemum100 · 31/12/2018 21:50

Completely.

I no longer recognise myself, and I'm still trying to figure out who I am now.

Maybe things are different for me as we have had 2 under 2 which is very stressful and overwhelming.

I never thought having a baby could change me so much, but it has.

Cheekysquirrel · 31/12/2018 21:51

It’s made me totally hugely anxious all the time over things I was never anxious about before.

saturdaynightgin · 31/12/2018 21:54

It really affected my mental health. I was such a calm, laid back person before DD, but PND has had a lasting effect. No longer depressed, but now have a quick temper and get stressed quite easily

Eatmycheese · 31/12/2018 21:54

I look at my three children and am blown away by the fact they have heard my heart beating while growing inside my body, and during my giving birth to them. It is mind blowing to me, this perfect connection. The reason I say this is because motherhood does stretch you to the absolute bloody limit, every day in different ways: some you didn't think possible others more mundane and entirely predictable. When I'm in the eye of the storm I remind myself of the amazing biological phenomena above and then somehow I feel like this shit I'm currently dealing with is less significant.

But I would definitely like some more sleep and less washing

Mumof1andacat · 31/12/2018 22:00

For me, it's not been great. Less confident, proper anxiety now about most things, poor memory, chronic insomnia, bad eating habits & social anxiety. Ds is 6 next month

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