Learning to drive and it's tough - moral support please!

[Lottapianos]

It's hard. One of the hardest things I've ever done. I had a load of lessons as a teen but just got back to it in October, now nearly 40. I know I'm not a total disaster. My awareness is good, my mirrors have got much better. I'm learning to drive in East London which is TOUGH, and I'm doing ok. Every lesson I learn more stuff and feel a tiny bit more confident

But I've been driving our car over the past few days- quiet roads, Christmas - and it's fucking scary. Silly mistakes like grinding gears, staying in 2nd gear too long. Parking still shit. My confidence is far from great. I've been losing sleep over the whole thing

So please, anyone who is learning or who passed in the last year or so, please share tips or commiserate or just share in how scary it all is! I know I will get there but it's bloody hard right now. X

Lotta, keep us posted with your progress!

Hi, I feel you! I am 32 and passed on October... it took me a year if lessons and FIVE tests to pass. Highly recommen rescue remedy and calm balm for your test if you are nervous. No idea if it is just a placebo but it really helped me.

I'm your age and tried to learn in East London a few years ago... it was awful and I gave up. Partly though that was because I couldn't find a good instructor, so if yours is good please PM me with details (think from previous threads that you live quite near me).

Good luck!!!

Think of it like this OP - if you learn to drive in London, you can drive anywhere else and it will seem a doddle. I realise you need to learn and have your test near where you live but can to practise somewhere further out to get your confidence up? That's what helped me initially when I lived in a very busy place.

I learned in my early 40s in South London.

As someone says above... if you can do it here, you can do it anywhere!

It will be an amazing achievement.

I learned to drive in my 20s (which were sadly not a year or two ago) but driving is just practice, practice, practice. So if you’re gradually getting better, you’re doing great.

I got quite good at parallel parking my tiny car after I passed my test, but then I moved to London, didn’t drive regularly for years, and am now pretty shit at parking my family estate car because I don’t have much need to and am therefore out of practice.

But I drove a fancy hire car on holiday recently that had parking cameras, and I was shit-hot at parking that

And as PPs have said, if you can master driving in London, you can do it anywhere. Just don’t turn into one of those insufferable arseholes who thinks they’re SO IMPORTANT that they can beep at people who dare to slow down at at junction to check it’s clear etc. Those fuckers give me the

I'm in my early twenties but in the same boat OP. I started learning in my teens, failed twice (one test I managed to cock up a turn in the road ) then moved to London where I didn't need to drive (absolutely well done for learning in London)! I've restarted again and am definitely not a natural but am slowly getting a little better. My test is at the end of January so fingers crossed for both of us

I learnt 2 years ago, late 20s. Incredibly anxious, took me nearly a year but passed first time. I'm still not sure how.
I drove three times after passing, and haven't driven since. I feel awful about it, not helped by the continuous comments from family over Christmas. I want an automatic but DH won't have one and we can't afford a second car, so I'm a bit stuck until I can increase my income.
Whatever you do, don't stop driving after your test or you'll end up like me (our car broke down just after I passed and it was a couple of months before we managed to fix it, & then I was scared of it breaking down again... Excuses, I know!).

I passed on my7th test aged 19. I was determined to pass it. I’m hindsight, I think passing in an automatic would have been better.
Op, of you don’t pass this time, try an automatic car, and passing. It’s so much easier.
Although I passed in a manual, I own an automatic now, as living in the SE doesn’t warrant a car with gears 🤷🏼‍♀️
Stop, start, stop, start, stop, start... need I go on?...

In fact let me summarise the lesson before my 2nd test for you.

DI: You should really have given way at that roundabout. I know he was slowing down but it was his right of way.
Me: What roundabout?
DI: ...

In my defence it was very badly painted!

Oh honey, of course you can pass - you must keep trying.

I failed first four attempts "because" the examiner (a male) didn't approve of using an automatic. After deliberately trapping his hand in the door, I was allocated a female instructor and passed with flying colours. You will do this! I have, we all have faith, but you need a little faith in you.

Stand up straight, arms back, tits out and kinkyboots set to stun, girl!

You will get it in the end. It's really hard. I started learning when I was 29. Passed in October aged 30. I found it hard though. I failed 3 times before I passed. The place where I had to take my test and do my lessons is a notoriously shit place to drive. Terrible traffic. I hated it. My parking isn't brilliant but I'm trying to improve it. I make mistakes, I think everyone does for a good while after passing their test. And I get anxious. But it's given me so much more freedom. Dh is away a lot and we have 3 DC's and live pretty rurally so being able to drive is so much better. Keep persevering, don't be too hard on yourself either.

I passed two years ago and it’s wonderful to have the freedom of driving. What really made it click for me was doing a week where I had 2 or 3 hours of driving lessons every day. By the end I felt so much more confident! Good luck OP you can do it!

I have achieved quite a bit in my life. However, passing my driving test made me extremely happy.
People are surprised when I say that learning how to drive was one of my greatest achievements. I found it extremely difficult to learn but now enjoy driving my automatic car despite passing using a manual car .
Just keep on trying.
If you fail the test , book the next one immediately

You're all just lovely! I had a lesson a couple of days ago, and I'm so much more comfortable in my instructors car. I've decided to change the test date so I can use his car instead of my own. It takes the pressure off to get used to our car with a deadline looming. That awful sense of dread has lifted so it's obviously the right decision

My instructor- hmmmmmm. He has his good points but I certainly haven't clicked with him and I won't be devastated when we say goodbye! It's not a disaster but I possibly could have found someone better. Not going to change at this stage though, and he's already observed me doing 4 of the 6 Pass Plus modules so it's worth sticking it out. Thank you all so much and please keep sharing your stories!

I passed a year or so ago after a week intensive course, I'm late 30s.

It was the most stressful thing I've ever done and even though I passed 1st time at the end of the week, it took me another 6 months or so to feel any kind of confidence. I'm confident with local journeys now and will happily push myself a little further but am still yet to venture onto the motorway. I will though, I'm confident of that.

It's also one of the best things I've done as it's opened up a lot more opportunities to me. I drive to a job I wouldn't have been able to get to without a car now. It also makes the logistics of work and childcare pick up a lot easier, plus I can take my DC to more places. And if I need to get things last minute I can pop just out in the car - I love it.

I would love to have the confidence to just drive anywhere, no matter what roads it took me on. I know I'll build up to that though.

My instructor was not the nice and calm type, he did a lot of shouting. I wouldn't have chosen him but was stuck with him for the week. He taught me well enough and I still repeat some of his learning phrases but I would've preferred someone with a calmer approach. Not sure that's doable on an intensive though!

Good luck, sounds like you're doing well.

'My instructor was not the nice and calm type, he did a lot of shouting.'

Oh purple, that's bloody awful! What a shit approach to teaching. No wonder you're having to build your confidence up slowly x

I'm 45 and passed first time three years ago. You can do it!

I took 1+ months of intensive lessons, it really helped me as I had tried three (nice) driving instructors previously but wasn't retaining much with 1-hour lessons once weekly.

The intensive driving school set a schedule for me, including the driving test at the end, so in a sense I was forced to keep to a certain pace and that goal.

It was 3 or 3.5 hours each time, 3 times a week in January. Then a couple of lessons in February before the pre-scheduled driving test.

I didn't get on with my instructor so well, personality wise (10 years younger than me; I'm convinced he thought I wouldn't pass; think he thought I wasn't 'getting it'), so I was probably motivated to pass so I would never have to see him again!

Thanks Lotta. Yes, I described it at the time as it being like having an Uncle other fairly close relative who happened to be a driving instructor. I got taught by a professional but without the patience private pupils might get! Except I was a private pupil.

In fairness I think there was a lot of pressure for them to keep their first time pass rates up, so there's only so much calmness and patience you can have on an intensive course. In retrospect I'd have liked to do a block of regular lessons to build up road awareness and confidence, then a shorter intensive course to get it done. But with work and childcare, taking a week off work to do it in one go was the easiest thing to do. I got it done!

Driving is easy. The car only goes forwards or backwards and the steering wheel left or right. Keep reminding yourself of that.

Learning to drive is HARD because of the number of things you have to be thinking about at once. What are the cars in front of me doing? The ones behind? The other lanes? Pedestrians? What do the road signs say? What speed am I doing? What gear? Where are my feet? Which way did the instructor say we were going next? What's happening in my blind spot? Where is the biting point? What if I stall? And on and on and on... once you have practised enough, you do 90% of that without actively thinking about it. You don't have to think to respond, you'll do it automatically. It simply takes time. Practise at every available opportunity. When you are a passenger, do the same. Look at the road, assess what is happening, look at the signs, watch the driver. It will get easier. You will pass.

I learnt at 33 in South London. Did my test in rush hour which was awesome because I hardly moved!

You don't need to be a perfect driver to pass your test. You just need to be competent and safe. I really don't think you become a "good" driver until after you pass and get hours of driving by yourself under your belt. So don't beat yourself up for little mistakes. Just worry about the bigger ones without sweating the small stuff.

And definitely eat a banana on test day. I swear that banana passed my test for me!

Hi lovelies, brief update. I have done the 3 mile drive to supermarket a few times now and it's much better every time. This is an East London route with about a dozen sets of traffic lights, a flyover and merging lanes, not just a little pootle up the road! Scared levels have gone from a 9 to about a 4 out of 10. Gear changing is smoother, lane drifting is much less, I feel more in control and less tense. Have a lesson tomorrow and feeling pretty good about it, and about ten times better than I was a few days ago. Thank you again and I will keep you posted!

Also learning at 39, failed test last year, completely lost confidence and although I know I need to do it, am very close to giving up. Wanted to go out over Christmas with dp but we haven't .

@Lottapianos

Yay, go you!