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Original poster

I only got 1 thing for Christmas

35 replies

NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 14:51

I was really excited this year my first year without ExH, doing exactly what DD aged 3 and I wanted.

I got thoughtful gifts for my two best friends, and their children. Neither got presents for me (though did get lovely gifts for DD so can’t complain). Another close friend I bought for again didn’t get me anything just got something for DD.

I went to my mums Christmas day, and she gave me one present. A £2 bar of soap, it smells lovely and I’m not complaining but that’s it, that’s all I got. I spent almost £100 on my brother who got me nothing, a big fat nothing. He couldn’t even hide it as it was me, him and mum with DD so it was obvious.

I spent Christmas night after DD went to bed. I know I should be grateful, I had a lovely Christmas dinner with my mum, and brother and DD, didn’t have to share my DD with her dad over Christmas. So I can’t complain.

DD was spoilt, got everything she wanted and more, and she’s had fun which is all that matters. I know my mum went to so much effort with lunch and it’s not her I’m upset with as I know roughly how much she spent on lunch and it far outweighs the money I put into buying presents for her.

It’s my brother and my so called friends. It’s not even like I’m hard to buy for, I’d have been happy with some nice toiletries, or a box of chocolates or fridge magnet (I collect these). Just something to show me my friends know me and think about me.

Next year I’ll only bother with my mum and DD.

This is not a begging thread. I do not want other people’s presents or pity. I’d like to feel appreciated by the people close to me.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 27/12/2018 14:56

My friends and I don't buy for each other now only the dc.

Siblings just a token gift, fizz etc.

Do you always spend three figures on your dB seems a lot.

Original poster
NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 14:57

No, I asked him what he wanted and bought it. Just happened to cost nearly £100

OP posts:
dogzdinner · 27/12/2018 15:04

It's good that you had a nice day with your family. I can understand why you feel hurt though. Particularly the first year on your own. You want to feel that someone cares. I'm sure they do, just didn't do a good job of showing it

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RavenAroundTheChristmasTree · 27/12/2018 15:05

I have 2 friends who are in similar position to you. We don’t normally ever bother with gifts but I did get both of them little gifts which I knew would make them smile/laugh/use. Wrapped up and put in a small gift bag for them and said something for you to open on Christmas Day or help you through.

One was given her favourite chocolate and a pair of socks which I knew she would laugh at.

Other was given a small bottle of gin and a 8 pack of fever tree cans.

It is small things that make the difference and they have both been there for me this year through some tough times and I knew it would have been hard for them.

It’s not the value of the gift it’s the thought behind it. OP, I hope you can treat yourself to something you really want and try to enjoy some time with your DD.

RavenAroundTheChristmasTree · 27/12/2018 15:07

I haven’t really said it well but my point was if OP was my friend I would have tried to do something to help make her feel a bit special.

Andylion · 27/12/2018 15:27

OP, do you usually receive gifts from your friends and your brother?

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 27/12/2018 15:28

That's really shit from your brother!
He knew he had asked you for something very expensive but did not buy you a present?

I think next year just buy for your dd and your mum and then buy yourself something that you consider indulgent for yourself and enjoy it

Original poster
NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 15:32

Friends usually buy for me even if it's something small, not sure why they didn't this year.

Brother usually buys me something of equivalent value to what he's asked me for or asks me what I want and gets it. He didn't ask this year or bother apparently.

OP posts:
hmmwhatatodo · 27/12/2018 15:32

Some people are thoughtless and some are so caught up in their lives they don’t consider others, some are so busy to stop and think and some just don’t have the money. What’s up with your brother though?! What did he give your daughter?

formerbabe · 27/12/2018 15:33

My friends buy for my dc but not for me. I'm more than grateful for that.

My sister and I buy for each others DC but not each other.

I'm shocked you spent £100 on your db. Was he expecting that?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/12/2018 15:34

Any of you or your friends new parents and therefore thinking friends gifts aren’t happening anymore?

Original poster
NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 15:34

He got my daughter a giant soft toy of her favourite animal (basically the bigger version of her favourite soft toy) cost around £20. She loves it so I'm not complaining, but even if he'd got me a candle or something I wouldn't have minded.

OP posts:
Didiusfalco · 27/12/2018 15:35

The thing with your brother is grim unless he got an absolutely cracking present for your dd. Friends are tricky because from experience some people really don’t put importance on presents, I have one like this but she’s an awesome friend in other ways. I’m sorry if it has left you feeling low - have you any spare money to treat yourself?

Original poster
NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 15:35

No friends DC are similar ages to DD, all aged 3-6 years.

OP posts:
Passthecake30 · 27/12/2018 15:35

Does your brother have kids? My siblings get me nothing, my mum gets me a £2 bar of chocolate. It's standard in my family that you don't get anything after having children.
If you have some spare cash get yourself something nice?

Didiusfalco · 27/12/2018 15:36

Sorry x-post

ILiveInSalemsLot · 27/12/2018 15:37

Did your brother say anything? How could he ask for something that costs £100 and get you nothing?

Maybe your friends just thought you were doing gifts for kids?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/12/2018 15:38

Next year just put it out there with both sets of people “hey are we doing presents for each other this year”

Mishappening · 27/12/2018 15:39

I didn't get much either - small gifts from AC and nothing from OH - who is frankly too ill to get anything and never goes out.

That's the way it goes as you get older - just bite the bullet!

Ethel36 · 27/12/2018 15:39

I don't buy for my friends. I told all family members not to buy for me, just the children and vice versa. I only got two presents that I bought, for the children to gift back to me. They were exactly what i wanted. I am more than happy with them. Think you need to stop buying everyone presents. Just say, "only buy for the children."

PrincessScarlett · 27/12/2018 15:42

I know a lot of people have cut back on presents this year and Martin Lewis has been banging on about not buying unnecessary presents so perhaps your friends are doing this.

Your brother not getting you anything is dreadful, especially as he knew you were buying for him. Don't bother with him next year.

Why don't you treat yourself in the sales. Nothing wrong with buying yourself a present.

Paddy1234 · 27/12/2018 15:43

Nor me - I only got a coat which I bought and wrapped myself and some nice smellies and a pair of socks! I am okay with that as if I really want something I will buy it myself

Original poster
NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 15:51

Brother is childless and knew DD and I would be there for Christmas from September so he's had plenty of time.

He said nothing, just mumbled a sorry and then disappeared to his room for the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
NothingForChristmas · 27/12/2018 15:55

Friends have always bought for both DD and I, there's 6 of them to buy for (1 friend has 3 children the other 1).

Other friend whose childless has always bought for me but never bought for DD before.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 27/12/2018 15:57

What did you buy for your brother? £100 is a lot.

How old is he?

I would say something now-‘Ok, DB-are we not buying for each other from now on then?’