I only got 1 thing for Christmas

[NothingForChristmas]

I was really excited this year my first year without ExH, doing exactly what DD aged 3 and I wanted.

I got thoughtful gifts for my two best friends, and their children. Neither got presents for me (though did get lovely gifts for DD so can’t complain). Another close friend I bought for again didn’t get me anything just got something for DD.

I went to my mums Christmas day, and she gave me one present. A £2 bar of soap, it smells lovely and I’m not complaining but that’s it, that’s all I got. I spent almost £100 on my brother who got me nothing, a big fat nothing. He couldn’t even hide it as it was me, him and mum with DD so it was obvious.

I spent Christmas night after DD went to bed. I know I should be grateful, I had a lovely Christmas dinner with my mum, and brother and DD, didn’t have to share my DD with her dad over Christmas. So I can’t complain.

DD was spoilt, got everything she wanted and more, and she’s had fun which is all that matters. I know my mum went to so much effort with lunch and it’s not her I’m upset with as I know roughly how much she spent on lunch and it far outweighs the money I put into buying presents for her.

It’s my brother and my so called friends. It’s not even like I’m hard to buy for, I’d have been happy with some nice toiletries, or a box of chocolates or fridge magnet (I collect these). Just something to show me my friends know me and think about me.

Next year I’ll only bother with my mum and DD.

This is not a begging thread. I do not want other people’s presents or pity. I’d like to feel appreciated by the people close to me.

That’s shit OP. I had the same when I was single with dc. Everyone bought for dc and not me. Not that I minded but I just felt a little sad about it.

Is there anything frivolous you want and can afford? Can you wrap it and give it to your dc to give to you? Daft but might make you feel better

Your brother is a cheeky sod for putting in an order for an expensive thing, and I'm not surprised that you're annoyed with him. £100 is a very expensive gift for an adult sibling, and he must feel like a real turd.

Your friends simply don't want to swap presents any more, so take their lead and stick to giving presents just for the children from now on.

Brother is 25, I bought him a piece of equipment for his hobby (think a specialist saw or similar) which cost £95 because that's what he asked for.

Did he ask what you wanted when he told you he wanted you to get him this saw?

Does he normally ask and get you a present of similar value to what he tell you to get?

Have you said to him-are we not doing presents then? I’d suggest taking it back.

Your brother is a right cheeky fucker, sorry. If that had happened to me I would have been straight down the shops on Boxing Day to get my sibling something extra nice, plus I would have spent the next year apologising! Is he usually so thoughtless?

Could your brother afford to spend that sort of amount in return? Perhaps he just didn't think about the cost when he asked for it. It sounds as though he was embarrassed that he hadn't got you anything, but perhaps he just didn't know what to buy?
I would definitely not bother in future. I gave up buying anything for my sister a few years ago. She got me a paperback book for every birthday and Christmas, usually one i had already read which she would then return to the bookshop for a refund, which she kept. I made a lot of effort with her presents. She is just not a good present giver and doesn't put any thought or care into what she buys. For a significant birthday I got two paperbacks about politics. I took them straight to the charity shop.

Usually he either asks me what I want or asks my mum for ideas and spends a similar amount to what I spent on him. My mum would have given him loads of ideas under £50, I don't want him to spend the same amount on me if he can't afford it. I'd rather not have spent so much on him if he wasn't going to bother.

Well if he couldn’t have afforded something for you, he shouldn’t have asked you for something costing £100, should he?

Aww sorry to hear this as its clear you feel hurt but this is becoming the norm for adults at Christmas. I got barely anything and even worse its my bday too so that's largely forgotten! I'm used to it so it doesn't bother me .

I don't give friends Christmas presents as it all got a bit crazy and none of us really need or want anything. Some of them give gifts to my dcs, some don't and with my siblings, we give token gifts only and then proper gifts to each other's children. Although I often have to remind db to not go overboard. He can be too generous and its not necessary.

I would speak to your friends and say that to be clear, no need to exchange xmas gifts for adults, just kids. Keep the money you save aside and get something you really want in the New Year. And also use some of it to get something luxurious to eat or drink on the day with your family.

Have the same conversation with your brother who probably is already feeling embarrassed.

Have a wonderful NY OP

*Friends usually buy for me even if it's something small, not sure why they didn't this year.

Brother usually buys me something of equivalent value to what he's asked me for or asks me what I want and gets it. He didn't ask this year or bother apparently.*

Oh, that makes it worse, OP. You would have they'd be more sensitive.