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Original poster

Would you find this behaviour suspicious of your dp?

47 replies

PatrolPaws · 25/12/2018 19:19

Or am I really overthinking this? Been with dp few years and have a baby together. Things have been rocky but we keep trying.

With phones, tablets, the laptop we've always shared, no passwords, leave phones lying around. However the past week or so I've noticed dps phone is always always in his pockets that zip up. He used to sit there browsing on it but lately its out of sight. Yesterday evening he was laying in bed with ds both half asleep, I went up and purposely moved his phone under his t-shirt next to the bed I left the room for literally 3 seconds and during this time it had been zipped in his pocket. Not so long ago it would be left to charge in the kitchen.

He has form for cheating in the past and I've never been suspicious before but I just have this horrible gut feeling something is awry.

Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 25/12/2018 19:21

Trust your gut. Does he have form for cheating on you? If so I imagine he thinks having got away with it before he’ll try again Sad

HollowTalk · 25/12/2018 19:22

I agree with you. Any change in behaviour is worrying but particularly when it is to do with phones.

Was he unfaithful to you, or in other relationships?

Does he have the opportunity to see another woman?

Grannyannex · 25/12/2018 19:22

Look at the browsing history

TheLittlestLightOnTheTree · 25/12/2018 19:22

Yes huge ted flags there

Ask to borrow it, see his reaction

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 25/12/2018 19:32

No he's never been unfaithful to me I'm sure but has to others in the past. Browsing history null I checked. I asked him shall I charge his phone cos it seems permanently glued to his side. He looked blank and said no. I can't ask to borrow it, I've never done that! I have this horrible knot in my stomach.

OP posts:
Santaisonthesherry · 25/12/2018 19:36

Send him some pics and say can you just check they have sent - if he won't pass it sit next to him while he does - to oo and aah over pics - and see if he is worried!!

SuperMumTum · 25/12/2018 19:42

My ex was suspiciously attached to his phone when he was having an affair. Is there anything else that's bothering you about his behaviour?

muchprefersummer · 25/12/2018 19:49

Trust your gut. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 25/12/2018 20:43

Never been unfaithful to me that I'm aware but admitted he has been with exs.

He is being a bit tetchy.

He's sat on the sofa opposite now with his phone snuggly in his pocket not touching it, he's always on it usually.

Really not sure how to approach this without looking like a loon!

OP posts:
Weightsandmeasures · 25/12/2018 20:47

Trust your gut. You are definitely picking up signals and red flags.

Therighthonourable · 25/12/2018 20:54

If you have used his phone previously to browse the web etc you could always say " can i but borrow your phone, I saw something on a website that I really want to finish reading, buying, browsing etc but I can't remember the link."

If he hands it over, check the browsing history as that is where you would look to find the link.

If the browsing history has been deleted from the past couple of days then that tells you something, also you will have full access to messages etc without looking like a loon.

Also check the incognito browser.

If he doesn't hand it over then he is hiding something.

MummySharkDoDo · 25/12/2018 21:23

I’m going to go against the grain. I’ve never had an affair, emotionally cheated or done something dh would hate... but I like my space. Sometimes I chat bollocks on mn in a way he wouldn’t get, sometimes I text friends in silly chat that out of context look dumb. It’s more I’m embarrassed about the side of me that talks inane crap more than I’d like him to know. He doesn’t any just wouldn’t relate.
I’d hand my phone over to him if I discovered he was having real torment over it, it generally I like being a separate person and guard my phone/ space a bit. I’d find it controlling if that bothered him.
Over a decade of happy normal marriage here.

MummySharkDoDo · 25/12/2018 21:24

Obviously this goes both ways, I can unlock his phone as I once had to borrow it... but I’ve never checked it

Katinkka · 25/12/2018 21:48

Sounds shady to me.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 25/12/2018 21:52

If this was my partner, yes I’d be worried. It would be a massive departure from normal behaviour, as this is for yours.

Ozziewozzie · 25/12/2018 22:05

Just pretend to have lost your phone/misplaced it, and say you need to make a call. If he has nothing to hide he won’t bat an eye lid.
If he has something to hide, he will question why you need his phone and why do you need to use his now and not just find yours.

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 25/12/2018 22:17

The ironic thing, he bought me an all singing all dancing phone for Christmas.

So my view, I have three options

A) Front him out say what's the deal give me your phone
B) Try find out sneakily what's going on
C) Do nothing
He's still sat there phone shut in pocket, so out of character. Gosh I feel sick

OP posts:
Dilligaf81 · 25/12/2018 23:31

If your setting up your new phone is there an excuse to use his phone?? Say you need to borrow his phone to copy some numbers?? What a horrible feeling OP.

EnidButton · 25/12/2018 23:41

Text him whilst in the same room but behind his back so he doesn't see it's you. When it pings or vibrates see how he reacts. Does he look shifty, grab it quickly or ignore it? Is he reaction usual. You can say you were trying out your new phone.

Also if he usually has text alerts on and it's now on silent, is that usual?

Have to say it does sound a bit dodgy to me. I don't usually think that on these kinds of threads as a lot of people just like their privacy but to a point and his change in usual behaviour is what would make me wonder.

Don't say directly though. If he is being a cheating dick then you don't want him to know you're suspicious until you know for definite and he'll get better at hiding it if you ask now.

It's not for sure though. We don't know either of you and only you know how he normally is. Might be all nothing. Flowers

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 14:46

So last night the shit hit the fan. We were having a quarrel about something or nothing and I blurted out why is your phone hidden in his pocket? He claimed its because its easier to keep there. He offered me to look at it, I called his bluff, took it walked away with it. And my gosh I've never seen him move so quick in my life! Demanded it back then proceeded to do something on it THEN offer it back. Says all I need to know don't you think?

OP posts:
MrsTommyBanks · 26/12/2018 14:51

Yes it does. I'm so sorry this has happened to you Flowers

Weightsandmeasures · 26/12/2018 15:20

So sorry OP. He's got something to hide.

NorthEndGal · 26/12/2018 15:24

Yeah, its cracking now. SorryFlowers

Poster65 · 26/12/2018 15:26

Sorry but he has something to hide :(

ILoveChristmasLights · 26/12/2018 15:28

I would have refused and locked myself in the bathroom. Too late now though.

I’d tell him to leave.

I won’t put up with any shit these days. You know he’s up to no good, you don’t need ‘proof’.

I’m sorry 💐

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