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Original poster

Would you find this behaviour suspicious of your dp?

47 replies

PatrolPaws · 25/12/2018 19:19

Or am I really overthinking this? Been with dp few years and have a baby together. Things have been rocky but we keep trying.

With phones, tablets, the laptop we've always shared, no passwords, leave phones lying around. However the past week or so I've noticed dps phone is always always in his pockets that zip up. He used to sit there browsing on it but lately its out of sight. Yesterday evening he was laying in bed with ds both half asleep, I went up and purposely moved his phone under his t-shirt next to the bed I left the room for literally 3 seconds and during this time it had been zipped in his pocket. Not so long ago it would be left to charge in the kitchen.

He has form for cheating in the past and I've never been suspicious before but I just have this horrible gut feeling something is awry.

Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
OoohAyyye · 26/12/2018 15:30

What a shitbag OP. I'm so sorry. Flowers

UnicornSlaughters · 26/12/2018 15:35

He's definitely hiding something. I'm sorry OP

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 15:38

Sorry to drip feed, teething baby. Last night he tried to do the typical make out it's my fault. He's out at the moment. I have asked for the truth no response, which is intentional I am sure.

But then I think he tried to call MY bluff this morning. He went for a shower, left his phone next to me and said "It's there if you want to look you might find something you might not." I DIDN'T FUCKING LOOK!

OP posts:
CantstandmLMs · 26/12/2018 15:41

My friend did this to her ex just demanded to see it one day after her gut said something was up and it was all there in black and white Angry

Hope you at least get answers OP

OoohAyyye · 26/12/2018 15:43

Gosh he really thinks you're stupid doesn't he. Why would he think you'd want to look now he's deleted everything! Don't fall for his bullshit OP. Stay strong.

Pavlova31 · 26/12/2018 15:46

Just the perspective that maybe ne is planning a ( nice I mean ) surprise for you and wants to keep it that way ?

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 15:47

He should know I'm not!! I said last night when he took his phone back so fast, yes delete everything and tell her not to message you. Omg I feel sick

OP posts:
Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 15:48

No Pavlova he'd never do that

OP posts:
Pavlova31 · 26/12/2018 15:54

Hope that you get some answers soon PatrolPaws Flowers

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 17:02

Thank you

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 26/12/2018 17:36

My DSis now exH did this a year ago. Offered the phone when she saw heart emojis. Grabbed it back when she called his bluff. Went out for an hour. Returned. Handed phone over. Had blocked a certain number. Denied everything. LIED. Is now loving with the OW. Cheating lying SO a B. Hope yours isn't the same.

LadyGAgain · 26/12/2018 17:36

*living (no doubt loving too Confused)

Weightsandmeasures · 26/12/2018 17:45

OP try moving on emotionally. Don't wait to confirm your suspicion. It is extremely likely it is what you suspect.

I know it is mega, mega difficult but the earlier you start re-orienting your mind, the better. Don't waste time on this man.

I'm very sorry Flowers

HeebieJeebies456 · 26/12/2018 18:49

he's a cheater and always will be.
you've seen enough now to know that he's messing you around too.

just ditch him.

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 20:08

I can't just ditch him, he's the father of my baby! Anyway he's staying at his older sons tonight. Lots of messages back and forth he denying there's nothing I don't know about. He's not giving it the I love you spiel just there's nothing going on. I'm starting to doubt myself now. Maybe it's gambling, dating I don't jeffing know

OP posts:
Santaisonthesherry · 26/12/2018 20:23

Your baby deserves a better df and you deserve a better man.
Don't use your baby as an excuse to be a doormat.

Ozziewozzie · 26/12/2018 20:29

I’ve been there and it’s horrible. He will tell you that you are paranoid and laugh at you for being unreasonable.
Leave him to his miserable self and start your new year off on the right foot....with it firmly kicking his ass. X

HeebieJeebies456 · 26/12/2018 20:39

So what if he's the father of your baby?
Being the father doesn't mean he has to be allowed to stay with you and carry on cheating on you and treating you like shit.

The fact that you are now doubting yourself about whether he was cheating or gambling is you trying to minimise the whole thing to avoid actually dealing with it.

You seem to forget that he blatantly took the piss out of you in front of your face.....he's choosing to be deceitful to you.
Given his previous history my bets would be on text to other women.

If you accept this treatment then all you're doing is teaching your dc that this is normal behaviour in a relationship and that they don't deserve to be treated any better.

He can still be a dad to his dc after you split.....plenty of people do it.
The constant rockiness in your relationship is a huge red flag that all is not right but it seems you'd rather live in denial.
What's it going to take for you to wake up - an std?

WhyAmISoCold · 26/12/2018 21:39

Similar happened to me OP. My DH has always been permanently attached to his phone. But one day DS was on his tablet and Facebook messenger popped up with messages with a woman from work. They weren't 'affair' messages but the tone seemed slightly off to me. I'd say he had mentionitis too. When he got I from work I just asked to look at his phone. And he let me. After he went to the toilet. No messages but he didn't think about the logs which showed over 40 messages between them. His phone is always on silent too and he us ALWAYS on it and so have no idea what he does.

He denied anything going on. But I've always wondered. He also stopped talking about her completely after that. Although I asked him not to tell her I found them, it's the first thing he did then told me about it!

Original poster
PatrolPaws · 26/12/2018 21:40

I totally appreciate your comments thank you. But I cannot end our relationship on a suspicion? Just a suspicion. Would you? I need the truth because I'm worth more, way more, I have morals. I need to find out somehow. Then yes, even if it is just messaging he is gone. But I can't and won't end it on a suspicion!

OP posts:
HeebieJeebies456 · 26/12/2018 23:29

He offered me to look at it, I called his bluff, took it walked away with it. And my gosh I've never seen him move so quick in my life! Demanded it back then proceeded to do something on it THEN offer it back. Says all I need to know don't you think?

In your own words!
He took the phone back off you before you could check it and deleted the incriminating evidence in front of you!
How exactly is that just a 'suspicion'?

It's no wonder he carries on like he is - he knows you won't do fuck all about it.

madeyemoodysmum · 26/12/2018 23:39

Do you have access to bank accounts.
After suspected cheating from ex I went through his receipts Bank accounts credit card
There may be unexplained gifts hotels meals out etc.

I found a hotel booking for a local premier inn!!!! Obv a shag planed That was the end

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