Staying at MIL’s and I’ve blocked the loo

[ThomasRichard]

It’s flushing but not going anywhere and the bowl is full of poo and loo paper What the heck do I do?!

Fucking hell, this is my worst nightmare.

Glad you shifted it

Only toilet paper should go in the loo, not wipes.

Not even flushable wipes

This reminds me of my Dad one Christmas. He answered the door and said ‘Merry Christmas. The toilet is blocked.”

Either I'm too merry or this is the most hilarious welcome ever.
Glad it's sorted OP

Not even flushable wipes

That usage should be banned (as you know). Just because they can be flushed doesn't mean that it's at all appropriate - either for the domestic plumbing system or the wider sewerage system.

This reminds me of Tony Blair and his meddling in the Brexit debate. I heard somebody on a radio phone-in programme refer to him as ‘the turd that won’t flush away’.

Is this the time I fessed up?

If you were travelling on the slow train Euston-Birmingham stopping at Berkhamsted, In May 2010, and needed to use the loo to find it was blocked by a huge,dense,salami-shaped poo wrapped in pink loo paper - it was mine. Sorry
Thing is, I actually 'birthed' it in Berko just before I left the house I was staying in, it wouldn't flush away, the husband of the couple I was visiting was banging on the door, so...I panicked
Hand down the loo, wrapped it up in the paper, and decided the only thing to do was to bring it home
But then I realized there was a loo on the train, so...
And it STILL wouldn't flush away
So I admitted defeat-and left it

Mind you, who uses pink paper?

sausagesimon

WAIT.

You walked out without washing your hand?! Wasn't it kind of noticeable?!

@AviatorShades ffs have you never used MN? It is imperative you change you username before discussing this kind of thing.

Bloody amateurs.

Although - pink paper

Get 2 pedal bin liners.

First one, put it over your hand, pick up as much stuff (paper, waste etc.) as you can, close bag without spilling contents, place in waste bin.

Second bag, place it over the loo brush, pretend it is a plunger -should dislodge some stuff. Remove stuff from loo as per bag 1.

The one thing not to do is get stuck within the panes of a double glazed window

Boiling water is great plus more fibre in your diet

@DerelictWreck if I'd stopped to wash my hands the next person would've walked in and back out of the cubicle! And probably the next two aswell as the sinks were directly outside the cubicles. So I scrubbed my hands with some baby wipes then legged it to the next toilet

This wouldn't of helped you in your predicament OP. However, a squirt of washing up liquid in the toilet seems to get rid of most floaters, just kinda slides right down there

A friend of a friend did this when visiting her new boyfriend's parents for the first time. She went for the fish it out and throw it out of the window approach, loo cleared, all was well so she washed up and headed back downstairs.....to find everyone had retired to the conservatory and were all puzzling over the mysterious item on the roof.

moussemoose no, my name is Shades(channeling the introductions in AA) and I'm a salami pooper
But I'm not alcoholic and I've never been to an AA meeting tho

My mate's husband blocked my loo once. He did a massive shit and couldn't be bothered to sort it. Neither could my mate. They just left me to do it. My mate actually watched me. I was furious. I will never look at him the same way again. It was grim.

I applaud you for not leaving it for someone else to sort.

This happened to me. Except I decided to flush again and my MIL's bathroom was flooded then, her bath mat and everything.
My partner took the blame and got rid of the offending....article
I think they all knew it was me.
Anyway good luck lol

I know you're sorted but this has to be said:

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES USE FUCKING BOILING WATER DOWN THE TOILET, ESPECIALLY IN BLOODY WINTER.

seriously people, sometimes I think it's suggested deliberately out of pure malevolence

why @gamerchick? I only used a washing up bowl cos the kettle was taking forever.

Would you have liked to explain the cracked toilet that needed replacing and the never ending flood until the water had been turned off?

Mine was on the Eurostar. Not even a proper water toilet. I did scoop some out but scuttled off to hide.

@gamerchick errr why not?

Obvs plumbing is not my strong point but won't boiling water make it all go away?

Ahhhhhhh

Cracked bowl enough said.

Oh dear! That outcome would have been sub-optimal.

oldgreyboots I wouldn't risk that after being at a party where someone did this. She hadn't been to the host's house before and didn't know she lobbed a great big poo straight into the back garden...where we were standing!