I feel like I've made the biggest mess of things, please help me

[charleywhirls]

I come from a bit of a chaotic background. I lost my mum young, and I didn't really have anywhere to go, I stayed with my dad for a year but I didn't get on with his wife, then stayed with my nan and she died so I stayed with a friend for a bit then got my own place.

I accumulated loads and loads of debt, obviously I couldn't pay it back. I regret this more than anything.

Because of my debt I can't really rent or buy anywhere (couldn't afford it anyway) i have a basement room I rent, it's dark, freezing cold and damp.

I bought a sofa from a charity shop, anyway it wouldn't fit. So I've wasted money again. It's so stupud but I feel so down about it. I was looking forward to feeling normal, sitting on a sofa and having a cup of tea and watching films, and now i can't even do that.

I feel so low. It's not really the sofa I know.

Who are you renting from? Sounds like it's not fit for habitation. Have you sought help from citizen's advice or Shelter about your living conditions?

And here we go...

We're you ever involved with social services after your mum died, i.e. in care of any sort? If so and depending on your age, they might still have some kind of support they can or must give you. Check in with the council regardless. They might have advice of local projects that can support you. Social isolation is a real threat to many at this time of year (and year round of course).

While some may not believe you OP (in which case report) I am all too familiar with the fact that this a completely believable set of circumstances for someone without family support. My heart goes out to you and anyone else in your circumstances.
It's not fiction. It's life in modern Britain for too many.

Oh definitely ask on fb/social media selling pages, I put a metal super king size bed and mattress on FB had loads of enquiries, ideally we wanted someone to collect.
Was contacted by a girl who said she would love it as had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor with her son after her bed broke but had no way of collecting it but would ask around if someone could collect for her.
We were slightly cynical but wanted it gone so dropped it off to her, she had barely anything in her house, it was very evident she was just getting by with her 3 kids alone.
I guess what I’m saying is people will drop off if they want things gone and they have the ability to. Just post a polite message.

Don’t let your past define you.
What are you doing to sort out the debt?

Are you getting any help? Financial and emotional?

Ugh I've been in that situation with a sofa before as well, living in a shared house with no living room but space for a sofa in my room. Similarly to you I was so upset when it wouldn't fit up the stairs as I too just wanted a degree of normality, aka wanting to make a cosy living area with a sofa and tv to chill out after work.

It really sucks OP, I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation

My town has a Facebook page, there's loads of ppl who help others out, may be it's worth having a look for where you live. This time of year doesn't help much, but if you take it bit by bit you will get through and come out stronger, there's always ppl on here ready to chat.

Afternoon, everyone. Just to let you know that we've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're popping in with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

Sorry to hijack your thread, OP – we hope that things improve for you soon.

You've said 'please help me'.... How can we help? Obviously not in ££ terms but...

This thread (might be real, might be someone taking the piss, but maybe it will help someone ) really got me thinking about what happened to me in the past. Either way......
Many years ago, during a very abusive relationship, having served divorce papers on my ex h he left on 23rd December. He didn't slam the door behind him, he left it open as he knew the boiler was broken. He took all the furniture. He left the boys bunk beds (thank you). It's not a sad story - I danced around the house when he left.

I was studying for a degree full time, my mum sent me £30 for the children's Christmas presents & one of her friends gave us their old sofa.

I don't know if the op has DCs. I felt like the shittiest mum ever (I wasn't) Mumsnet wasn't around then. But by god if it was, I'd have felt 10 feet tall.

Just a simple message. There's some really lovely people here with loads of advice x

I'd like to write a disclaimer that I'm as hard as nuts

Ask on Freecycle or local Facebook if anyone is getting rid of a sofa (get measurements!) If they are, look in newsagents' windows near you as I often see 'man with van' type ads that charge £10-15 for an hour of moving stuff.