Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What age did you / would you let your child drink?

60 replies

thaegumathteth · 22/12/2018 07:29

Ds is 12 (just)!-dh thinks he should be allowed a glass of cider at Christmas. I don’t think I like the idea .... he’s had sips of things but never a full glass.

What do you think?

OP posts:
startingafresh1 · 22/12/2018 14:04

This is a really interesting thread.

I don't have a balanced view of drinking alcohol as my mum has an alcohol problem and as a child and young adult I was beaten, dragged around by my hair and verbally advised by her when she was drunk. As a result I find drunk people quite tricky and don't enjoy drinking myself.

I'm keen to encourage healthy drinking habits in my DC. The oldest is 11 and my current plan is not to allow drinking until he is 15, but also not to demonise alcohol....

I'm interested in the idea that it's possible to teach healthy drinking at home, in order to minimise the risks of bingeing when away from home. Surely drinking with mates is very different to with parents? I mean DC could show plenty of restraint and stop after a couple of drinks at home, but it's so very different when out with mates, at a party, with an exciting atmosphere, surrounded by lots of alcoholic options? I'm not sure one thing can really prepare DC for the other?

Molakai · 22/12/2018 15:07

I don't know the actual studies Reallybadidea and I understand the difference between correlation and causation. But, others presumably have read the research and have formulated guidance on the basis of that.

There is no 'upside' to drinking earlier. Alcohol has no intrinsic benefits for anyone, and we know that it has a massively destructive effect on many, many lives as well. The knock-on effects on the country are devastating too - costing millions, making people unsafe in public places and putting both the drinker and those around them at greater risk of violent crime, causing massive health issues etc. etc.

Surely it is better to promote a culture of starting to drink later and drinking less. Like many people on here, I think it is impossible to predict who will go on to develop a dangerous relationship with alcohol, so it benefits all to follow advice that would help those more vulnerable. And by vulnerable, I don't think you can simply identify social issues associated with having problems later on.

Its not about making drinking taboo. There are age limits or guidelines for many activities, and I think information about alcohol and age should be more widely promoted, so it becomes the norm NOT to drink. Then there would be a greater consensus, and we wouldn't have the dilemma that this thread highlights. If people are going to drink - they have the rest of their lives to do it.

I realise this alone won't solve the problem, but I think it has to be part of the solution. The rest needs to come from government like in Iceland.

Their approach was radical and comprehensive - with lots of emphasis on encouraging kids to find natural highs etc. But it also included boundaries:
Laws were changed. It became illegal to buy tobacco under the age of 18 and alcohol under the age of 20, and tobacco and alcohol advertising was banned.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/iceland-knows-how-to-stop-teen-substance-abuse-but-the-rest-of-the-world-isn-t-listening-a7526316.html

ErictheGuineaPig · 22/12/2018 16:20

I wish there was an appetite for something like that here Molakai. Definitely food for thought on an individual level though - firm boundaries around how late they're allowed out, spending time with them and encouraging them into activities.

DoveSecret · 22/12/2018 16:20

Babycham at Christmas when i was 13/14.

I dont have issues with alcohol

ladybee28 · 22/12/2018 16:27

DSS is 12, and we'll usually let him have a sip of a beer if he asks to taste it (I like craft beers, so we often mention the different tastes if we open something new, and we'll explain to him why they taste the way they do).

I've noticed he does a bit of an OTT "Mmmm" and says how much he likes it with a (slightly forced) big smile, so I do get the sense he thinks it's 'cool' to drink and it makes me extra careful not to big it up too much.

Wouldn't give him his own, though - a sip here and there is one thing, but actually drinking... it's not actually up to me, as it's DP's son, but I wouldn't feel OK with it under the age of 15 or 16.

FogCutter · 22/12/2018 16:42

DS 12 sometimes asks to dip his finger in my glass of wine or cider to taste it and I do let him.

No way is he having a glass of anything at this age.

JillScarlet · 22/12/2018 17:38

I think you have come to the right conclusion, OP.

Introducing a tiny bit of champagne for a toast, or a small amount of wine with a meal as they grow older is one thing, but a 12 year old drinking cider is just for the sake of the alcohol, iyswim.

Too young.

sarahwil1 · 13/10/2020 11:59

Found that we were much stricter with our eldest but will probably let our youngest drink much younger haha!

Ilovesausages · 13/10/2020 13:50

I was allowed alcohol as a teen with my parents and went on to binge drink regularly and got myself into some stupid and dangerous situations. Me and my friends would get black out drunk regularly.

I don’t want my kids to be as stupid as I was!!!

My husband is allergic to alcohol so never drinks. I have a drink roughly once every 6 months so very rarely.

Interesting to read the different views on this thread.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/10/2020 14:01

I would absolutely not agree to my dc drinking at that age. Alcohol has a significant effect on teenager's physical and mental health. I suppose I might consider a small drink at 16+.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page