Just need somewhere to say this

[ByeGermsByeWorries]

My sons dad promised to collect him yesterday to stay for Christmas. He didn't show up. He didn't send a text. He didn't call.

My son is autistic and spent the whole of the last 2 weeks waiting for this date getting increasingly excited. He sat yesterday from 3:30 waiting on the stairs for his dad excitedly and as time ticked on and it became obvious he wasn't coming, there my boy sat, not moving just tears rolling down his face because he doesn't understand. It's 7am and he is still sitting there. Sobbing.

He was active on messenger and all through the evening, he just chose to ignore me and leave my messages, sms, and whatsapps on read.

My heart is breaking hearing my poor little one crying and there is nothing I can do to fix it.

You utter utter fucking evil bastard.

Your poor boy. What a bastard 😔😔

Although, surely you haven’t let him sit there for 15hrs? Has he been to bed and returned to sitting there?

What a bastard. Could you film your dc and send it to you ex? Would he feel bad? Poor thing, it’s gojng to be you who deals with the fallout. What a git. Glad he’s your ex!

I’m sorry this is happening. What an absolute cunt.

for your little boy. How could anyone do that to a child?

Oh my god. Your poor, poor DS. This is heartbreaking. How old is he?
Has he been let down before? Nothing could prepare you for this, this is unforgivable.
I'm so sorry I can't give much advice for right now. Just couldn't read and run.

What an absulote bag of shit.

Your poor DS. Can you take him out for the day to take his mind off it?

He sounds like a total prick. This isnt much comfort, but if he could do that to his DS then it might be a good thing that he isn’t with him at xmas

for you and DS, I have no advice. Some Dads are just arseholes and don't deserve the name Dad.

Unless their has been some sort of major incident which it doesn’t sound like if he has been on social media then he is a bastard.

I would be so tempted to stop future contact. Not always that easy I know but it’s an awful way to treat any child even worse when the child is autistic

I’m so sorry. What an absolute shit!

My daughters dad did virtually the same thing to her the year after we separated. He said he wanted to take her out trick or treating and she was so excited. She got all dressed up and waited and waited and waited. She’d turned down an invite from friends to go as a group as she wanted to go with her dad. We contacted him and he said he was on his way.
By 8.30 or so she was upset so we contacted him again and he just said it’s quite late so I’m not going to bother coming.
So I’m left with a sobbing child (she was about 8 I think).

Absolute cunts, who does that?!

Your poor son. It's difficult enough explaining to children why they're not a priority to the non-resident parent, let alone explaining that to an autistic child.
Department on his age, can you find a way to talk through and ask if there is something else he would like to do?
I must say I think I would have sent him a photo of your son, sitting on the stairs, waiting, had I been in your position, but that isn't helpful to your son.
I wish I had better advice.
Hugs for you and your son

*depending on his age.
Sorry, autocorrect changed it.

I don't know how anyone could do that.

I hope your little one calms soon and you have a wonderful Christmas together.

The year My daughter turned 6 her dad decided he wanted to speak to her Christmas day I agreed as he hadn't seen her for almost 3 years at this point they had one conversation where he told her he had sent a gift it would be with her soon she spent the rest of Christmas sitting in the window waiting for the postman everyday there was no parcel he never contacted her again

Dragon he had it rigidly set in his mind that his dad was coming, because of his autism it was very hard to let go of it. He's only 8 and recently diagnosed. I don't have many coping mechanisms or skills developed as I'm still learning about him myself. He would not move from the spot in case he missed dad. We've been sitting with blanket and pillow all night and I'm shattered and so is he. I've managed to coax him to the sofa now but he won't move far from the door because he still thinks he's going to show.

As soon as he picks the phone up I am going to give him what for because he missed the last 2 contact weeks to go away with his mates, which was prearranged so easier to navigate with DS. but to then just not show up at Christmas when your little boy is waiting to spend time with you his heart must be just as dead as when I left him. I can only imagine he got "a better offer"

OP, that is heartbreaking. I've actually got tears in my eyes thinking of your lovely son being let down and hurt like this. What an absolute cunting piece of shit his father is!

Wow just wow. Your poor boy and poor you having to see your son so upset and deal with the fallout. for you. Please don’t tell him he is coming in the future so he and you never have to deal with this again. I hope he feels some remorse for the way he has acted but it doesn’t sound like he will. Glad he is your ex.

Thanks for your replies everyone. I'm currently hiding in the toilet on MN and crying while my partner is trying to coax DS to have some breakfast and think about what special thing he'd like to do today.

Has he done this before? To me in the relationship yes he often abandoned me in favour of drinking with friends, but not to DS, but it doesn't make it any less shitty especially since I can see him opening and closing WhatsApp and it's clear he's chosen to wilfully ignore me.

Oh God I'm in bits just thinking about ylur poor boy.

The man's an absolutd scumbag

I am sorry that happened. Much love to you and your ds from a random grandma on the internet

Horrible, horrible man. Why? It's not like he was taken ill if he was posting and ignoring you.

I do so feel for your little boy.

My heart breaks for your son. His father may have biologically provided some DNA but he's no dad. No parent.

Please stop contact altogether.
Better than what your ds is being put through over and over.

Your ex is a sick bastard imo.
Let him go via the court route.. Better your ds let's him go now than teen years.

The poor little love to be let down like that Has your town centre got lights up etc that you can go to see? Any cafés with special Christmas menus? How heartbreaking for you to see your little boy so upset

Oh that’s awful, your poor DS I think you did the right thing sitting with him and not forcing him to bed if he couldn’t be persuaded.

Acknowledge to him how shit and hurtful it is, how it’s not his fault, his dad is really wrong to do this, etc. Don’t try and minimise how he’s feeling.

If you feel the best thing to do is continue contact, I wouldn’t tell him it’s arranged (which I know is really hard with ASD) but I would do it in a surprised ‘oh look who’s here DS, it’s dad, would you like to go?’. You can’t let him sit and wait like that again.