Will anybody else not get any Christmas presents?

[tixerB]

My parents have said that they know I'm skint, so we won't bother exchanging presents this year. DDs too little. DDs dad's horrid and abusive. My friends aren't exchanging gifts afaik. Which I'm happy about tbh because I am really broke, and need to spend any spare money I have on DD. It's my birthday in a few weeks as well and highly doubt I'll receive anything. Not that I expect it. But might hint to DDs nursery teachers that I'd love a card!

I just keep seeing posts about boots 3 for 2 bath sets and stuff, and people being annoyed about getting them. And I just think, god that would make my day! anybody else presentless this year?

P.S disclaimer, I know - first world problems. I have bigger things to worry about. Have had to borrow some money to make rent this month due to no maintenance and new job wage problems. Feel very lucky I had already got my little DD everything on her list (she's only 3, so had asked Santa for a bath bomb, Lego, chocolate coins and a toy mouse )

Can you buy yourself something from the charity shop and wrap it from your daughter? That's what I used to do. Little ones like to see you open a gift too I think. Even just a selection box. hope it gets easier for you

Sorry to hear things are so rough for you. Surely your parents will send a card or small gift for your birthday?

I love your DD's list. Just be glad she didn't ask for a real mouse!! My DD wanted a baby goat one year . I hope you and your DD have a lovely Christmas and here's some virtual

Don't know if this helps OP but at least it's for primarily financial reasons rather than because people don't care. Plenty of posts on here come Christmas from people whose partners have money but can't be arsed to buy for them.
That said, if my kids were skint, I'd tell them not to buy for me but I'd still get them something. Could your parents be planning to surprise you, to avoid you feeling you have to return their gifts?

Me! The last Christmas present I got was 4 years ago from the Mumsnet Secret Santa. (Made my day, whoever it was who sent a pink box of bath and skincare goodies!). My husband's in another country, so we tend not to send gifts 'cos of postage etc. I'm a 24/7 carer for my Dad, who has dementia and is unable to go out, or shop online - and no one else seems to bother! TBH I far prefer giving to receiving anyway, and I can't think of a single thing I need. Christmas is mostly about food, drink and terrible films for me :) I still love it!

Are your parents hard up too? Might they have clumsily been trying to save you the worry of buying for them? If they can afford it can you suggest you wouldn’t be offended and offer to exchange token (charity shop or home made gifts from you) for 2 for 3 or whatever treats you like? But yes, it sounds like you’re surrounded by people who love you.

I might get myself a book from a charity shop and wrap that. I love to read and haven't treated myself to a book in a long time. My DD has been asking and I said that Santa just brings for children and I'm happy with a kiss and a cuddle, and she said she'd share her Lego with me bless her. Think she'd be happy to see the big man hadn't forgotten me after all! That's a lovely idea actually.

My mum and dad are lovely and we're very close, so I'd be kind of surprised tbh if they don't get me a card or a little something for my birthday. I always make a fuss on theirs. But my mum has just been made redundant and my sister and nephew have just moved in with her so she's really preoccupied. My dads not getting much work atm. Pretty shit for everyone. I'm happy for them to focus on the kids absolutely. And Christmas with my dad and DD will be lovely, really looking forward to it. My favourite people. And I'm off from work for 2 weeks when ever since I've left school, I've worked Christmas Day and most days surrounding (healthcare). So that's better than a box of choccies to be fair am feeling pretty Christmassy tbh and lucky. Magical age, this. Was just a fleeting thought, I think.

Merry Christmas one and all 🎄🎄🎄 and virtual 🎁🍷🍫 to everyone without a real one!

When dd was little, i used to tell her the most wonderful thing I could hope for was something she made for me. She used to spend ages secreted away with the mister maker book and her craft bits and create me something.
Last Christmas (She was 11) we passed the charity shop round the corner. I commented on a book in the window- when we passed it a few days later I noted it was gone. The look on her face was priceless, just delighted with herself. Turns out she had spent the 1.50 from her money box when she had got us milk the previous day.
Hope things get similarly cheery in the future, op

If I had a child who couldn't afford to 'exchange' gifts with me I'd still be buying a gift for her - I can't believe that your parents can be so stupid.

I'm sorry your parents seem to be particularly rubbish

I remember the MN Secret Santa, and Xmas card swaps. I understand why it's no longer possible, though, sadly.

OP, I agree it's a good idea to wrap yourself a few books / little things and open them with your DD.

buying yourself a few Santa gifts is such a great idea. She won’t care what’s inside, the Joy is in the anticipation and seeing your reaction.

If you dont need to buy for anyone else this year due to the mutual understanding that nobody can afford it, I think you should totally spend some small change on charity shop gifts for you and your daughter.

My mum used to wrap toothpaste and soap. Just normal everyday things but added to the bulk of presents under the tree. Funnily enough, I remember these presents more than the big showy things

“OMG Santa knows exactly what type of toothpaste I use mummy!!”

Re the maintenance why isn’t he paying, can you go to CMS? I love looking at the books in charity shops, I buy and donate back so def a good idea.

@tixerB your dd sounds lovely - I’m sure she’d love to see you open something too!

@AutumnCrow this might be a silly question but why isn’t it possible anymore? That also sounds like a lovely idea!

I've already bought her some peppa pig toothpaste no, she's ok. Got her an electronic dolly which is poorly with a stethoscope and thermometer etc as her big present which she'll love. Found a telescope in a charity shop as she's obsessed with planets and the man on the moon And silly games from the works and plenty of books. Ive managed to get her a decent little pile which I'm so grateful I've been able to do. Can't wait to see her face, she's so excited.

They're not rubbish, I didn't mean to make them sound like they were. My dad especially does so much for the pair of us. Maybe they'll get me something. I was saying today that DD wants to make them some Christmassy biscuits and fudge. I guess it's just - when you have loads of people to buy for, it's obviously stressful and expensive but it's lovely to exchange presents, knowing somebody went out looking for something they thought you'd love.

God knows. Things are maybe on the up career wise so hopefully next year I'll be able to treat myself (or maybe even have somebody else treating me)!

Oh I would love to give you a present 😀 can only give you virtuel ones 👠👜🧸
Love your attitude re. Spending Christmas with your favorite people, that must be the true spirit of Christmas.
You brought a tear to my eyes, hope things get better for you re. Finances.
Have a lovely happy Christmas 🎄.

Re the maintenance why isn’t he paying, can you go to CMS? I love looking at the books in charity shops, I buy and donate back so def a good idea.

Nope, he's self employed and works cash in hand a lot and generally fiddles everything. He tells me he can't afford to bail me out just because i think I'm a princess he's paid me £400 maintenance in the past year. He was seeing her in a contact centre for a while which was expensive but she still needed providing for so I don't think that should have been in place of maintenance.

Full of promises the past couple of weeks and I asked tonight if I could count on it tomorrow and said it was either presents for DD and his other child or my maintenance so it was on my conscience to decide. he's an idiot. Try my best not to depend on anything from him so I don't have to lower myself into pleading for it. It's just this months been tricky. My dad's moving in next month and will be paying me some rent so that's good. Talking about giving me most of his inheritance so we can buy a house (he's not rubbish)! And my new employer is going to pay for my masters next year so that'll be fab. It's been a great year really. A few more quid in the bank and we'll be golden

Ah right back at ya IAmDanish!

@Someaddedsugar it was a combination of the site getting hacked, and at least one person not being quite on the level who was sending PMs, plus too many chancers and trolls as the site grew, and lots of dissatisfaction about gift disparities / perceived ingratitudes / unfairnesses.

It made running both an official Xmas appeal and any unofficial Secret Santa impossible to run 100% safely and securely.

That's a very basic clunky summary.

I really hope you get a present OP. Makes me so sad to think to think you won’t. You sound like a fantastic mum .

What a twat!!! I can't stand men like this, like they don't know Xmas vines every year like school uniform.
I feel for you, it's hard sometimes. One year my mother was taking to hospital on Xmas eve and I spent the stay with the kids alone. Then they went to their dad who had all the family.
Them low moments do go, now I have my Christmas with my dc a lo and a dp. Still panic like crazy aka can never match my family or his with the amount spent on gifts but I got a huge hug from my 13 ds for making a stocking.
And that's enough for me

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

I hope you get something. If I were your mum I would get you a present even if you weren't able to reciprocate. Good you got your DD some bits.

I love a boots 3 for 2 bath set. I don't see what's wrong with them - I love having a bath.

Could you buy yourself something small that you'll like and wrap that?

Hubby and I used to buy ourselves 1 small present out the charity shop like a cd/book/dvd and an 85p selection box from b and M. It was around £2 for our gifts but we loved them.

Oh no, it wasn't one of those threads!

I remember years ago I had bought a bottle of wine and co op left the security tag on it, and I posted a thread on mn to try and get some advice on how to open it. Live updates and pictures of me using these weird methods to try to get it open. Couldn't go back to the shop as DD was asleep. Somebody DMed and offered to Deliveroo me a replacement bottle of wine I didn't accept. Honestly, just wanted to share stories with other people. There are people loads worse off than I am. Last thing I intended.

MN secret Santa sounds lovely, think it was before my time. Shame it got ruined by a few bad eggs. Always the way!

Same! Love a bath. Tbh I absolutely love those radox bubble baths that are a quid. Might get one of those, a book for a pound at the charity shop, a pair of fluffy socks and some chocolate. I actually have a spare stocking from when I used to do DDs dad one too (what a fool I was). Could get myself that little haul and put it in there with a satsuma. DD would be absolutely buzzing to see Santa had left me a stocking at the end of the bed too! I have a spare change jar I can crack into which should get me a fiver of 'free' money if you know what I mean - money I haven't planned to go anywhere else.

Lovely thanks everyone. 🎄🎄🎄