Why do you think so many people have extreme anxiety these days?

[HarrySnotter]

I don't mean getting anxious about things that most people would, like a driving test or a new job, I mean things that are 'everyday' for most people.

I have a close friend who is really struggling with it at the moment. She's gone from being the life and soul of the party to barely being able to leave her house and it absolutely rules her life. I feel so incredibly sorry for her, it's an awful condition.

Do you think that anxiety is more prevalent these days or did it just go undiagnosed previously?

Read ‘Nella Last’s War’ - completely amazing book about ordinary but clearly very intelligent housewife in barrow on Furness in Second World War.

She wrote an incredible diary for mass observation. It’s so amazing because we really didn’t hear so much about ordinary lives. She was actually much happier in the war than before / afterwards (she had two prewar ‘nervous breakdowns’ that I think were never mentioned outside diary, her husband was quite controlling by modern standards, and her post war diaries are quite sad).

She WAS very anxious, but the sheer amount of physical, skilled domestic labour she did (knitting, sewing, cooking, cleaning) were probably a good outlet for it.

But a very hard life with less choices.

www.amazon.co.uk/Nella-Lasts-War-Diaries-Housewife-ebook/dp/B06Y683HHM/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=nella+lasts+war&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1544970954&sr=8-1

The reason there seems to be a generational vulnerability to anxiety is not just biological, it's also learned.

If you as a child are growing up with a parent who avoids things and worries a lot and you're constantly getting the message 'be careful' then you develop beliefs that the world is a dangerous and scary place and that people are hostile and threatening and it makes you feel intrinsically unsafe in the world.

These core beliefs can be changed in therapy but it does involve making a concerted effort to try out new ways of being and this is tough and takes time.

Some people are willing to commit to trying and make good progress and others maybe don't get the opportunity, or don't really engage properly or maybe their anxiety has a 'secondary gain' for them which is what butteredghost is talking about.

Museummum an interesting view. I wake at 3 with adrenaline coursing through my body - so textbook peak cortisol surge time. I have lots of physical symptoms of anxiety and had the fairly common 'do I have ms' health anxiety as a result. I feel so much better when I regularly run outside but I don't prioritise this because I am a bit stupid. I need a decent dinosaur I tell you!

I also don't expect my issue to be anyone else's problem and very rarely call in sick. I've put so much effort into managing this so when I blow (like I am now) it's a case of go big or go home!

6-8 sessions of CBT is unlikely to be sufficient if the anxiety is very chronic and severe, more longer term formulation based interventions are usually necessary. This is especially the case if there is additional complexity such as childhood abuse or similar.

I think this is why people often say they tried CBT and it didn't work for them.

For me it's having racing thoughts constantly. You struggle to finish a thought in your mind or read a sentence. Your mind is constantly playing catastrophic scenarios, real or invented - that time you lost your child for a minute, what if there was a lion round the street corner, what would happen if that person was a terrorist and started shooting, if there was an earthquake at work which exit would I use, what if I made a mistake and pressed delete at work and destroyed a month's work? All the time. It's exhausting.

I get on with it. I haven't had a proper breakdown or medication for 10 years. It means that if I am anxious I might look okay from outside but inside my heart is racing, I am sometimes sweating and sometimes shaking, I have damaged my tooth enamel through clenching my jaw so hard. I forget to breath. I can't eat or sleep - I don't feel hungry or sleepy because I am bouncing with adrenaline. My posture is crap because I unconsciously try to curl up. I can't concentrate at work or engage with conversations with people because I am thinking about how everything could go wrong and all the awul deaths i could suffer. I am cow to my family, I snap at... well pretty much anything or nothing. Sometimes the thought of having to do something else is too much and seeing that Christmas card that needs to be posted will make me feel sick - as in, vomit.

When it passes I am stiff and in pain from not having relaxed my abdomen muscles for days. I am ravenously hungry, thirsty, sleepy. It feels a if poison is leaving my brain and I can think and focus again, understand what people are saying to me etc.

That's the price to be paid for "getting on with it" instead of retreating and sorting out my issues or changing my lifestyle. People behind my most intimate circle think I am the calmest person on earth and no doubt puzzle over this fake anxiety epidemic!

I've read that, Nativityriot, after I saw the Victoria Wood adaptation a few years ago. I've read quite a bit about life during WW2. Mental health problems were, rather surprisingly, considered to be quite a lot better during the war years because, in spite of the constant stress of bombing, fears for loved ones, bereavement, long working hours and so on, most people were eating a better diet (because of rationing), getting a lot of exercise (no petrol, digging for victory), doing useful work as part of a team and feeling part of their community. Suicide rates dropped during the war. Women in particular had opportunities to work and get away from the drudgery of housework alone at home, they could get help with childcare and in a good few cases they probably actively enjoyed living apart from their husbands.

@nativityriot I think you have a great point too. We are never allowed to be bored these days are we? I know my mind is always constantly on the go and I am very anxious. Though to be fair I have been anxious even since being a small child.

Ds's goes with his asd which is also recognised far more than it was 20 years ago.

@Butteredghost I don't think it's true that 95% of the population are terrified of going to work or socialising. There are things I'd rather do than work, but it's certainly not terrifying and I enjoy meeting up with close friends. I don't believe I'm part of an elite 5%!

There are many things which terrify me - heights, flying, being driven too fast, enclosed spaces, but I have no issue with everyday life I have control over.

I think that @Bittermints has made a lot of good points in her post.

I think sites like mumsnet, whilst they can be helpful for people in dealing with their mental health issues, can also be very damaging.

By which I mean that there is a lot of normalising of fairly extreme over protective behaviour as being the standard of parenting that everyone should aspire to. eg never allowing a child to play on their own in a bedroom, constantly interacting with them and 'entertaining and educating' them. Never allowing a child to play outside with friends, even in their own garden, unless closely supervised. I'm obviously not suggesting that we send three year olds off to the park on their own, but equally I think it's very unhealthy to raise children believing that every situation is a threat. The 'I could never forgive myself if something happened, no matter how tiny the risk' school of thought means that people can never let go. Because there's always a risk. Life is risky.

It's the same as the extreme cleaning anxiety that is prevalent on mumsnet. The more people you hear about who change their clothes twice a day 'for hygiene purposes' the more you will think it's normal.

social media and the judgy attitude of the press, constant graphic reporting and anxiety-inducing headlines. Poor lifestyles, no 'me' time, poor sleep due to too much screen time

treacle I agree. I have heard young adults raised like this saying they find life hard as they have been effectively raised to be frightened of almost everything.