Crying in front of children

[LahDeDah]

Do you ever think it’s ok to cry In front of children? Does it matter if the reasons are different? I.e. because you have hurt yourself physically? Or for emotional reasons?
Does age make a difference?
I think it’s ok to cry as we all do it but to be honest about it (In a child friendly way) maybe? Or should we always hold it together In front of our children?

I cry in front of my DD. I’m not much of a crier, tends to be only when bad things happen. This year my DD’s best friend died, and of course I was upset too. She’s seen me cry plenty of times over that. She’s seen her friend’s mum cry plenty of times over it. We cried together. I hate the idea that she might have felt she had to hold it in or go off and cry on her own, just because she’d never seen me cry, which was my experience as a child.

My mother was always fucking crying at the slightest thing - usually for attention or because she'd been called out on her own bad behaviour. It continues to be fucking tedious.

"I tend to view most crying as manipulative and pathetic"

I can see how crying CAN be used to manipulate, but I would say that the majority of reasonable people would never do that! Especially not with their children. I find it really hard not to cry when I'm upset, not that I cry at everything, but if anything I am struggling to hold it in when i don't want to cry rather than putting it on for effect!

I find it quite an old fashioned and "stiff upper lip" type view to say crying is weak or would cause anxiety in our children. I'm sure this wouldn't be backed up by child psychologists. Obviously there's a line, and anyone using it to manipulate their children would undoubtedly fuck them up, or if they used their children as an emotional crutch. But showing children a range of emotions, and how to manage them, is completely healthy IMO and a really valuable life lesson that well help them become emotionally intelligent. Children need to know we're human and not too be scared by seeing us when we're more vulnerable. I strongly believe that if a range of emotions are normalised from a young age then it's not going to freak then out if they see us sad unexpectedly as a one off