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Would you let your 11 year old travel an hour to school?

63 replies

PeterAndJayne · 14/12/2018 18:35

In chat for traffic.

I have found a school that's perfect for DS except its an hour from home via 2 trains. He would need to leave at about 7.15 and return at about 6pm. Moving is an option but that would only reduce his journey by 20 mins (can't move nearer due to work and other child is settled in school). It's one of the few schools that can meet his needs. The alternative is support in mainstream but I fear he would end up floundering in bottom sets (he has complex S&L problems). I keep justifying by thinking it's only for 5 years, lots of holidays etc.

OP posts:
pallisers · 14/12/2018 18:38

For complex S&L issues where this particular school met his needs, then yes I would seriously consider it. I probably would try to move to reduce the journey even if by 20 minutes.

DH was in high school with boys who travelled for longer than that to get to school. DD's best friend leaves home at 6 to get to school for an 8.15 start - it takes about 45-60 minutes but traffic is such that she has to leave at that time. No special needs just wanted to go to that particular school. Mind you that would be from age 14 up (but I know middle school kids who travel a fair bit too)

mysteryfairy · 14/12/2018 18:40

My children travelled an hour to both junior and senior school but it was to an independent school on dedicated transport so less demanding of them. The timings you’ve given suggest more like 2 hours of travel? That’s a lot especially if it involves a public transport change and two opportunities for public transport to go wrong. I think I’d do it with a plan for picking up in an emergency if there was no other choice though.

PeterAndJayne · 14/12/2018 18:43

It's an independent school so longer hours, the extra time is allowing for train times as it looks as though he would miss the first train back so some of that time is hanging about for the next train. It would be roughly an hour and 10 mins door to door.

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PeterAndJayne · 14/12/2018 18:45

I have a back up plan of sorts. It would have to be one of us driving the hour to get him or my sister who lives half an hour from the school. I could only ask her in emergencies though as she works.

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Justkeeprollingalong · 14/12/2018 18:46

An hour and 10 minutes is worth it if the school is the best fit.

PeterAndJayne · 14/12/2018 18:47

And then theres the added hassle of parents evening, assemblies etc which would be about an hour away by car.

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OhFlipMama · 14/12/2018 18:50

That's about how long it takes to get to high school from our house by bus, so yes!

ineedaholidaynow · 14/12/2018 18:51

DS(13) has an hour bus commute to his senior school. His is an independent school and a dedicated school bus. I think he spends most of the time on the bus on his phone so he enjoys screen time without me nagging him about it!

ineedaholidaynow · 14/12/2018 18:53

It can be a pain with assemblies, parents evening etc although doesn't take us as long in the car as we go a more direct route

Notthisnotthat · 14/12/2018 18:54

My friends son takes a bus for over an hour to a normal LA secondary school. They are in a rural location bad have the change to stay in accommodation too but he likes to go home.

KurriKurri · 14/12/2018 18:55

I did this from the age of eleven - almost identical hours to the ones you;ve mentioned.
I'll be honest, it was tiring. getting home at six, having my tea then doing homework, then bed - very little time for relaxation - I was pretty envious of my friends who lived close to the school and got home at 4 o'clock.

But - it is doable, and it gets easier as you get older and more independent. I am quite good at writing on trains - so did some of my homework on the way home on the train. So that's one thing that helps, also can he have a cooked meal at school so he only needs a sandwich/ beans on toast type of tea when he gets in (I found having to sit down to a meal with the family when I got in ate into my time and madeit later when i could start my homework.)

Will there be any other children making the same journey ? I was lucky that there were several kids from my neck of the woods doing the journey, so I always had company. If he's the only one, make sure he has a good sytem in place of what to do if public transport goes wrong (train is cancelled, leaf on the line delays or whatever) make sure he's always got a bit of cash so he can get himself a snack or drink from a vending machine or some thing if he's held up, make sure his phone is always charged etc etc.

It can be a bit wearing attimes, but if it is the best school for him and he is going to get what he needs and be happy there, then I'd say go for it. On the plus side he'll end up very confident and capable using public transport.

SheepyFun · 14/12/2018 18:57

Apologies if this is offensive, but if he has complex s&L (speech and language?) difficulties, will he be OK using public transport, especially if something goes wrong?

PeterAndJayne · 14/12/2018 19:08

No offence taken Smile that I don't know for sure, but yes I think so. His expressive language is fine. It's his receptive language. Apparently quite a few boys leave from the stop before us (bigger town) so he wouldn't be alone. Really need to think this through.

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olivo · 14/12/2018 19:43

Yes. My school was 15 min walk, 45 min train and 10 min walk at the other end. I would definitely do this for my DCs if it was the night school for them. Even easier these days with mobiles etc for keeping in touch.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 14/12/2018 19:47

My DD has complex SLCN and I’ve had to look at a wide range of distances and schools to try and meet her needs.

The best one was just over an hour away and I’ve discounted it based on journey time. She’d be exhausted with the time travelling, plus the extra energy used on coping with the journey.

Does your DS have an EHCP?

Villanellesproudmum · 14/12/2018 19:50

My daughter is at a school 25 miles away, leaves the house at 7.10 to catch the bus, returns between 5 - 5.30 she does get tired near the end of the week but finds it fine. 4 years she has been doing it.

Sostenueto · 14/12/2018 19:51

My dgd has been doing it since year 7. Walk to train station accompanied then on train with other DC for 45 minutes and 37 miles then walk to school from station 20 minutes and vice versa back. She is now in 6 th form at same school. No problem as she has phone. Has always rang when on train and when she gets to school and the same back. If train is delayed or broken down she informs us. They have to grow up sometimes and as long as they are not on their own it should be fine.

Sostenueto · 14/12/2018 19:54

She gets up at 6 catches train at 7.30 am and arrives at school at 8.40 am. Gets home at 5.00-5.15 pm. Yes tiring but she survived! She then studies after tea till 8 pm. So long days but if you want good education its worth it. All the high schools in our town on special measures.

4point2fleet · 14/12/2018 19:56

For really appropriate specialist provision- absolutely.

ScienceIsTruth · 14/12/2018 20:23

I know someone who's dc did similar and they're just transferred to a closer school. The DC was out of the house from 7am til 6pm, often later when trains were delayed, which they often were. They had 25 min walk then train then bus plus a further 10 min walk then the reverse to get home. If thru were late getting out of school or if the bus or trains were delayed it really added to the journey time. They had no time for a social life or after school clubs and so became really isolated. They also worried about being late in the morning, so got up really early and left the house early too.
They did it for just over a year but it became too much, school work suffered and they got really stressed and also missed out on having friends, etc. They're much happier now they're attending a school that is only a 25min walk away.

ChanklyBore · 14/12/2018 20:36

My secondary age has a similar journey time, but the school is only 2 and a half miles away. They leave at 7.30am which is still dark this time of year to start school at 8.40am. Admittedly if they are running late and get their head down they can make it in about 45 minutes. But an hour is the norm, taking into account the route crosses major road junctions, road bridges and overpasses, as well as kids not being the most decisive of movers and their propensity for dicking about.

ViragoKnows · 14/12/2018 20:40

Can you not get SEN transport? Have you read your council’s policy?

A580Hojas · 14/12/2018 20:42

No way.

freddiethegreat · 14/12/2018 20:42

My LEA suggested this journey time for my son (specialist & EHCP) when he was 11. I might have accepted it, but, vitally, he really didn’t want it and his arguments stood up to scrutiny too. He’s been in local mainstream secondary since (now Y11) & whilst it’s been very tough, I don’t regret it. I commute about 35 minutes - by car so under my control when I leave etc - and I find that enough.

eddiemairswife · 14/12/2018 20:46

Up to 75 mins journey time is considered reasonable for secondary. Government guidelines 2014.

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