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Original poster

DS assaulted at school - what should the school be doing?

49 replies

runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 02:03

DS was assaulted by an older boy at school today.

The bully walked up behind him, dragged him by the neck and threw him on the ground. Then when DS got up he went up behind him again and slam dunked a really heavy basketball on his head. It happened at the end of play, so DS and his friend told the TA on duty as they went in.

DS's head hurt in class so he was in and out of first aid at school in the afternoon.

The school didn't tell us he'd a head injury nor that he'd been assaulted. From what DS says, it sounds like no one told his class teacher about what had happened at playtime.

He was complaining of feeling dizzy this evening so we took him to A&E and they say they suspect mild concussion. He and DP got back at 1am.

DP called the school office after school and they agreed something had gone wrong in them not telling us about it. They've said the Deputy is going to speak to DS and to contact us tomorrow.

Obviously I'm pissed off about how this has been dealt with. (Or, basically, not dealt with. What if DS hadn't said anything? What if the concussion had been worse? What else aren't they telling us?).

But I really like to know, what should the school be doing? What should I be asking for? What should the Deputy be promising me will happen?

(Regular but name changed, FWIW)

OP posts:
user1457017537 · 14/12/2018 02:10

I’m sorry you son has been assaulted in school where he should be safe. Concussion is serious and is due to brain swelling. Keep an eye on him for a couple of days. I would be absolutely raging with the school and would not suffer them denying or minimising this.

Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 02:20

Yes, we're raging. The school is massive and from what DS has said on many occasions it sounds to me like there simply aren't enough adults in the playground.

It's not the first time we've seen systems not working properly either.

What I want to know, is what should I be expecting the school to do?

OP posts:
Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 02:21

It doesn't sound like they followed up the incident at all. No one spoke to DS or his friend about what happened or asked for the boy's name, as far as I can tell.

OP posts:
ElseSmelsa · 14/12/2018 03:14

How old is he?

MerryMarigold · 14/12/2018 03:37

If no one saw it, and your ds didn't speak up at the time, it's very hard to know exactly how serious it was. Even your description could be messing around and the n kind of rough play some kids enjoy. If I'd been on duty I would have told the kid 'assaulting' (strong word) off, but not filled an injury form for basketball unless marks or bumps. Obviously, if they are 13 it's more serious than 7!

Bloodybridget · 14/12/2018 04:27

But he did speak up, he told the TA. Not unreasonable to expect her/him to deal with it or take it further. Did his friends witness the whole incident, OP?

Philomensapie · 14/12/2018 04:33

We always get letters home for any injury, and get spoken to by the teacher if it's caused by another pupil.

lljkk · 14/12/2018 04:42

You need to find out exactly what your DS & friend at the time told the TA had happened to him. Kids can minimise.
Sounds like yr6?

flumpybear · 14/12/2018 04:46

This is really serious, hit in the head with a heavy ball on purpose - ffs they should have had the gumption to take him to be checked at hospital - total idiots!
The bully needs to have severe consequences and personally I'd be calling the police for advice
Good luck and don't back down this school needs a kick up the proverbial before it's consequences are more severe than mild concussion

7kyay · 14/12/2018 04:56

I would not have the deputy head speak to my DS before they gave me an explanation, I'd try and be there for that myself. It's easier to make a child think they should've done something different.

Also agree with reporting it to the police - 100% get this logged

Waytooearly · 14/12/2018 07:07

Report to police for sure. I'm surprised that A&E didn't report it to the police themselves. I mean, it wasn't an accident, it was an injury arising from assault.

Sexnotgender · 14/12/2018 07:11

I saw something interesting the other day about dealing with bullying.

Don’t phone, write and copy in the governors. Apparently the school then have to keep a record of it and come inspection time have to explain how they dealt with it.

How true that is I’m not sure but worth trying if they’re dragging their feet.

Patchworksack · 14/12/2018 07:28

I'm so sorry that happened to your son. I think the school's response has been totally inadequate. We had a incident this week at school - my son was punched in the face by an older boy - lesser in that two much older boys were messing about in the corridor, one threw a punch and the other ducked and DS was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was taken to the medical room and we were informed immediately, it was passed to SLT who have spoken to my son and reviewed the CCTV footage to identify the boys and we've been assured sanctions will be taken against them. I would start by emailing his head of year and copying in the headteacher, but I would write to governors if you don't get a satisfactory response. Hope he is ok now.

madcatladyforever · 14/12/2018 07:33

Tell the school you are considering getting your son medically examined and calling the police to deal with this as they didn't take any action. That will make them sit up.
Personally I'd just call the police. An assault is an assault.

Patchworksack · 14/12/2018 07:33

Merry marigold really? Dragged to the floor then hit on the head hard enough to cause concussion and you don't think that's assault?

Secretrocket · 14/12/2018 07:36

How old is your ds?

Waytooearly · 14/12/2018 07:43

The school's already failed. They've missed their chance to address this properly. Don't bother trying to explain to the headteacher why it's not okay for your son to get concussions at school. Report to police and write to governors advising that you're keeping your son out of school until you're assured he'll be safe there.

MaisyPops · 14/12/2018 07:43

OP
You need to get a picture of what has gone on. It sounds awful and your poor DC has clearly been injured.
I would wonder why DC and others in the playground didn't tell a teacher if I'm honest. Not victim blaming, genuine question as I'm secondary and it's still fairly common for people to let staff know if they see something like that. It seems odd that a packed playground nobody would say anything.
Ask if they have CCTV so you can see what happened. Check they've recorded the injury in the medical book.

In terms of what the deputy can promise, they should be doing an investigation, the two children should be kept apart until the investigation is done. Having established what happened (usually involves CCTV and witness statements), the student who has assaulted another should usually end up in with a senior member of staff and isolation or a fixed term exclusion.

Sexnotgender
Someone I know shared something like that on social media.
Schools do have to keep bullying logs. But writing and cc-ing governors straight away doesn't make someone take you more seriously. Its the sort of silly manipulative thing that gets shared on social media (combined with silly advice on here about going straight to the head etc, actually makes positive relationships between school and parents more difficult. Plus, in my experience the people who do that are usually parents staff get told not to correspond with, head of year only to relay information, no meetings alone etc)

If I've got a bullying issue to deal with it, it will be dealt with exactly the same way. Cc-ing people doesn't make me respond better or quicker in any way. All it does it make me wonder why someone was being an arse instead of speaking to me reasonably.

Waytooearly · 14/12/2018 07:52

No it doesn't seem odd that other kids watched OP's son get assaulted, and then were too scared to tell a teacher. They were afraid they'd be next. Clearly there have been no consequences for the assailants and the kids can see that the adults around are unwilling to help. And yes, that is victim-blaming.

DeepanKrispanEven · 14/12/2018 07:59

At this age, I think it's quite legitimate to report this to the police as it is clear assault. Tell the school you have done so. The police may ultimately decide to leave it to the school, but at least it will make them pay attention.

Contact them today to say you need a full account of what happened, in particular what the TA did about the report, and what action they are taking in relation to the bully. Follow it up in writing. Also get a copy of their bullying, discipline and complaints policies to check what they should be doing to comply with those policies, and ask for confirmation that they are doing it. In particular, ask them exactly what they are going to do to ensure your son is safe in future.

Enter a formal complaint and follow it through to the governors, making it very clear that this is a safeguarding issue. If they do not deal with it satisfactorily, involve the council's safeguarding officer.

Christmasgone2018 · 14/12/2018 07:59

If this was done on the local high street the police would be called. I'm always shocked that people talk about rough and tumble as if it's the norm. I've brought up 3 children who weren't assaulted by other children nor did they assault anyone.
Change the scenario of two school children to a man against a woman, a man on man, woman or woman. Or change it to school child on school child in the high street. Why should anything be different? It's assault

DeepanKrispanEven · 14/12/2018 07:59

MaisyPops, they told a TA.

Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:12

DS is just 10. He's year 5, the other boy was year 6.

I do have a clear picture of what happened. I spoke to him and his friend, who was also hit, at length after school.

The bully and friends were playing with the ball. It came towards DS and tried to kick it back. Only it went off in the wrong direction. DS turned to look where it went, and while his back was turned the bully grabbed his round the throat from behind, dragged him backwards and threw him face down on the floor. He then slapped DS's friend on the face. They know his name as his friends were egging him on saying "go on

OP posts:
Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:13

I'm not going to call the police, I'm going to speak to the school.

What I want to know is - what should they have done? And more importantly, wjat should they be doing now?

What would be a good response from them?

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 14/12/2018 08:14

I'd report this assault to the police and would also be asking for a meeting at the school to discuss how it was handled and future plans for keeping your son safe.

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