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Original poster

DS assaulted at school - what should the school be doing?

49 replies

runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 02:03

DS was assaulted by an older boy at school today.

The bully walked up behind him, dragged him by the neck and threw him on the ground. Then when DS got up he went up behind him again and slam dunked a really heavy basketball on his head. It happened at the end of play, so DS and his friend told the TA on duty as they went in.

DS's head hurt in class so he was in and out of first aid at school in the afternoon.

The school didn't tell us he'd a head injury nor that he'd been assaulted. From what DS says, it sounds like no one told his class teacher about what had happened at playtime.

He was complaining of feeling dizzy this evening so we took him to A&E and they say they suspect mild concussion. He and DP got back at 1am.

DP called the school office after school and they agreed something had gone wrong in them not telling us about it. They've said the Deputy is going to speak to DS and to contact us tomorrow.

Obviously I'm pissed off about how this has been dealt with. (Or, basically, not dealt with. What if DS hadn't said anything? What if the concussion had been worse? What else aren't they telling us?).

But I really like to know, what should the school be doing? What should I be asking for? What should the Deputy be promising me will happen?

(Regular but name changed, FWIW)

OP posts:
Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:27

I have arranged to talk to the deputy today. What I want to know is - what should I expect from them? What should they be doing?

I know I want them to do something - but what is best practice?

OP posts:
Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:29

I find it's useful to go into meetings of any kind being clear in your head what you want to get out of it.

Thankfully nothing this serious has happened before although there has been a lot of low level bullying.

So, I don't know what to expect / demand.

OP posts:
Waytooearly · 14/12/2018 08:31

What they should have done is log this, get cctv footage, and take your child to hospital, and inform you. As said above.

They've failed to do any of that. You're right to wonder what the hell else is going on that you're not hearing about.

As far as what they should be doing now? That's up to you! Take some power back here for Petes sake. What if anything would make you feel 100% confident that your child will be safe there?

Theresahairbrushinthefridge · 14/12/2018 08:33

I work in schools.

When you go to see the deputy head today. Take with you a written report of the incident and the necessary treatment required in hospital. Take two copies. One addressed to the headteacher and his SMT. The other to the Governors.

Don't be inflammatory it won't help. Record the incident and at the end ask them to notify you in writing you how they have dealt with the incident and the children involved. Also ask them to explain what measures they will put in place to ensure that this does not happen again.

Coronapop · 14/12/2018 08:35

I would report to police as an assault.
I would also report to Ofsted that safeguarding at the school is inadequate.

Waytooearly · 14/12/2018 08:35

Go into the meeting and say, 'How are you going to convince me that this won't happen again?'

Write down their answers and then go away to consider.
Be perfectly civil but don't get hustled into a compromise. This isn't a disagreement with a gold mean.

Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:35

Take some power back here for Petes sake

Erm... that's what I'm doing.

I'm doing sone research before the meeting so I can stand up for DS armed with knowledge not just being pushed off with them.

I was hoping to hear from other families who've experienced the same or MNers who work in schools and can give me an idea of what schools should do in a situation like this.

OP posts:
Christmasgone2018 · 14/12/2018 08:35

I'd like to see the school give bully boy a fixed term 3 days exclusion ( hopefully for last 3 days of term to miss out on Xmas jollies)

Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:37

Theresahairbrushinthefridge and Waytooearly really useful thanks.

What kind of measures could I reasonably ask for / expect them to put in place?

OP posts:
DeepanKrispanEven · 14/12/2018 08:40

The other boy should as a minimum receive a fixed term exclusion; if he has any history of this sort of behaviour, it should be a permanent exclusion. If it's a fixed term one, the school needs to ensure that he is closely supervised when he comes back so that they can protect other children.

Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:41

Christmasgone2018 thanks. Is that normally what a school would/ should do?

OP posts:
Original poster
runningoutofnameideas · 14/12/2018 08:41

What about the boys who cheared him on?

OP posts:
Christmasgone2018 · 14/12/2018 08:42

IMO any form of violence needs the consequence of a fixed term exclusion. Once the bully child and their parents realise that the behaviour of the bully child is going to impact on the whole family they may well be better placed to stop the behaviour from re occurring.
I guess it will depend on what the behaviour policy of the school says though
Could you ask to see this? From my days in Education I can't recall whether the consequences would be apparent in the policy or based on what the Head decided on the day

lalalalyra · 14/12/2018 08:44

From this first meeting I'd want to know -

Did any adults witness it? (The answer will be no)
Were there any adults in the playground? If not are there usually adults in the playground and why was there not this time?

Then what did the TA that it was reported to do? Did she pass it to management? Was your DS's class teacher informed?

Who sent your DS to the first aid room and why? What treatment was he given? Who made the decision not to contact you about his injuries and why?

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 14/12/2018 08:47

I would ask the Head hen he/she was informed of the incident.
If the class teacher was informed?
Was it written in an accident book?

Who did the TA tell?

Has the other boy been interviewed about the incident?
Is there any video evidence?
What are the consequences for the boy (bearing in mind all the facts are known)
How will the school guarantee the future safety of your child?

igot99problems · 14/12/2018 09:04

If I was the teacher who had been informed I would have immediately told my superior (if I wasn't senior enough) and then would expect the following to happen:

  • all students involved are taken into separate rooms and asked to write down their version of events
  • these are then examined by teacher/HOY/deputy head/head, depending on school structure and availability
  • parents of the injured boy are called and he is monitored carefully as head unjustly
  • if it is clear from the written accounts who is at fault or that a certain group are lying then senior level management discuss the punishment options and decide on a best course of action (it is possible that follow up interviews with the students help enable this - the jeerers, when they realise how serious it is, may turn in the main boy at this point)
  • parents are called in for a meeting or spoken to on the phone to tell the punishment or action being taken
  • I would expect suspension for a few days for the main bully, and a day internal suspension for the jeerers...

But this is just what I would do/expect...happy if others disagree...

SilentAndQuietLight · 14/12/2018 09:20

I would not have the deputy head speak to my DS before they gave me an explanation, I'd try and be there for that myself. It's easier to make a child think they should've done something different.

Just highlighting this, because I totally agree. They'll be in CYA mode, the chat will not be helpful to your son (especially the day after concussion, when TBF I would keep my child off school completely). This is serious enough that it needs to be dealt with and managed by adults.

MrsWombat · 14/12/2018 09:46

Any sort of violence in my primary school would result in an exclusion of some sort.

MrsWombat · 14/12/2018 09:49

I would see what the deputy head is going to say. It might be that they were unaware of what happened. Or the TA only heard "got hit by a basketball". Let them investigate and if you are unhappy then you can take it further by following the school's complaints procedure.

Philomensapie · 14/12/2018 09:51

10 is the age of criminal responsibility in England, 7 in Scotland, why aren't you reporting it to the police? Xmas Confused

Philomensapie · 14/12/2018 09:59

That's true in my DC's school too MrsWombat. DS 7 has poor impulse control and punched his friend in the face, completely unprovoked, in yr1. The HT said he'd normally exclude immediately, but he'd never excluded a yr1 and he wasn't going to start now. I'd have fully supported him if he had.

MaisyPops · 14/12/2018 16:19

runningoutofnameideas
I missed where they told an adult. Ignore that part of my post (though love the idea that expressing surprise that a teacher wasn't told constitutes victim blaming. Only on MN).

A good response would be what I outline above OP. Students kept separated. Child who assaulted your child should be hauled in with SLT. They should be facing an isolation or fixed term exclusion for it (and that's what would happen in my school), but I don't know whether primaries have isolation. Given how hysterical some people get over them in secondary I wouldn't be surprised if many primaries don't have anything like that.
Personally, I think all violence from ks2 upwards should result in isolation or fixed term exclusion.

And OP, whatever happens in the meeting, follow it up with an email to clarify and give you a paper trail.

flumpybear · 15/12/2018 07:47

@runningoutofnameideas - what happened at school when you spoke to the head/deputy?

MsJolly · 15/12/2018 07:52

How did you get on?

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