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Original poster

Nearly lost my 3 year old today

66 replies

Soubriquet · 09/12/2018 14:53

Never really understood split second but certainly did today

Gone to the local city for a bit of shopping. Dh is in a shop, so me, dd(5) and ds(3) are sitting outside on a bench.

Spot dd has dropped a glove so she fetches it and then I zip up her pocket.

Turn round to discover ds is gone. He was literally there a second before and completely disappeared the next

I’m a complete wreck.

The security guards are radioing round to everyone to try and track him down. People are darting off trying to help search

After what feels like a lifetime but probably only 10 mins, he has been found.

He was found at the middle of the shopping centre talking about sweets.

Makes me wonder if someone tried to lure him off

I have never felt such sheer panic like I did just then

Don’t know why I’m posting. Just needed somewhere to vent

Keeping a close eye on him now

OP posts:
Karmagoat · 09/12/2018 16:49

it's so scary, had a couple of these episodes with dd at that age, she was a runner and I needed eyes in the back of my arse with her lol! I also ended up getting one of those backpack things with the reins it was a godsend.

Everytimeref · 09/12/2018 17:00

Lost my DD iwhen she was two, n Disneyland Paris. She was missing for a hour!!
(Well she was taken to the lost children centre straight away but it took a hour before we were re connected)

When I finally found her, she was happy watching films and informed me she was lost I was!!

Everytimeref · 09/12/2018 17:01
  • wasn't lost I was !
ShowOfHands · 09/12/2018 17:47

They will check the security cameras anyway I suspect but it's likely he did what my 18mo was doing when I turned my back momentarily. We were on our weekly visit to the library and she vanished while I checked out the books. There was a high up button to open the usually secure and contained children's section and she'd slipped out with another family. She was going to Pret which was our next stop after the library. Two v lovely ladies found her halfway there, clutching her library books and talking about a gingerbread man. She was hungry and going to get lunch! I was in pieces but it was nothing untoward. Toddlers wander and are quickly out of sight.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 09/12/2018 18:08

^I've been trying to find something I once read to share but google isn't helping.
It was along the lines of - if you lose your child in a public or crowded place, shout out their description (hair colour, what they are wearing, etc) because it alerts other people that your child isn't with you so there are more pairs of eyes looking and if (horrible thought) someone is trying to lure your child away, it will draw attention to them and they are less likely to continue with doing so^

Dh was running round shouting his name in panic. Quite a few people came over when they saw me sobbing and every single one of them asked a description before running off to help look.

I really appreciated that gesture

And I can’t speak to him about wandering off just yet. Even though he is nearly 4, he still doesn’t really understand. Tried to explain today wandering off is not good and how upset it made us and he just looked blank and then went on about sweets

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2018 19:32

I think if I had little ones now I would be tempted to take a quick pic of them on my phone every time we went out.

I remember putting a sticker with my mobile number on up the inside of their tops and telling them if they were lost to let someone know to ring me.

Dimsumlosesum · 09/12/2018 19:33

This is why I'm very grey at mid 30s.

NancyDonahue · 09/12/2018 20:41

It's a horrible shock when it happens. I lost dd for 30 minutes after she wandered off. It felt like hours. I was a changed person afterwards, nervy, couldn't sleep, weepy. She didn't ever do again.. not sure I would have survived her doing it again!

It really is wonderful that in these situations people - total stangers - drop everything to help search for the child. The sound of a parent of a lost child is truly heartbreaking and people just seem to have an inbuilt instinct to reunite parent and child.

kalefire · 09/12/2018 20:45

I was that age when my mum couldn't find me in woolworths ... eventually saw me walking down the road holding hands with a stranger (man). He was walking me away!

Mum did a lot of screaming and he apologised saying " I thought it was my niece". Mum was in such shock and huge relief to have me back the guy just slipped away.

Sad really hate to think what could've happened.

recently · 09/12/2018 21:07

Kalefire Shock
OP it's a shock, isn't it? I lost ds for 15 minutes at that age - he was inside a Wendy House that he had spotted in the toty dept of John Lewis and gone back to as soon as my back was turned. He was perfectly happy there! I was a wreck.

HarrysMummy17 · 09/12/2018 21:07

I lost DS age 2 at air show this summer. Dh was in one of the stall tents. My boys age 5 and 2 went in to ask him if they could have a blue up plane. Ds1 came out to me for money then went back in. Ds2 must have followed him but went the wrong way. I thought he was with dh. Dh though he was with me.
When we realised he had gone I felt sick. I didn't panic. Just kept saying he's going to be here somewhere. Also knowing there were 60000 people there.
We searched around the area, then dh spotted some police officers so he went to them and just then I spotted ds running across the field. A lady was following him, she's found him by himself and asked where his mummy was and he ran back. I'm not sure if he knew where we were or just luck. I burst into tears as soon as I picked him up though, longest 5 minutes of my life

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 09/12/2018 22:51

Wow, OP, it's such heartstopping moments when things like this happen.

My experience was in the MetroCentre in Gateshead with my pfb, not long before he turned 2. He was usually in the pushchair but this time we'd let him out to walk, we stopped to look at a site map and he just carried on walking, us not realising because we were used to having him in the pushchair.

Seconds later he had just disappeared.

We were near the middle of the whole complex and from there you can go in one of four different directions, on two levels, and it is a very big shopping centre.

The MetroCentre has excellent procedures in place for looking for lost children, you go into the nearest shop and they contact security and systems go in place ready to shut down the exits if needed, thankfully that wasn't necessary. They also have a 'Safe child' system, where there are stickers on the shop windows at young child head height indicating for lost children to go in and a member of staff knows what to do, unfortunately ds1 was too young to understand this system.

Ds1 had soon realised he was alone and just sat on the bottom of a flight of steps, probably waiting for us to find him. It was directly opposite a customer services kiosk and when they noticed a little boy sat alone they took him to the kiosk and put a tanoy announcement out about a lost child. We got him back pretty quickly, but they were the scariest few minutes of my life.

The security staff told us that there had been (attempted) kidnappings of young children in the area. Children were taken into toilets, their clothes were changed and if they had longish hair it was quickly cut to try to disguise the child. It was then easier to get them out of the shopping centre and straight into a car in the car park right outside. The first thing security staff did when a lost child was reported was look in the toilets in case this is what was happening. Thankfully this wasn't the case with ds1, he'd 'just' wandered off.

We had reins on us and always used them after that, or a wrist strap. Have managed to bring up 4 boys since and wasn't bothered what other people thought of reins etc, if they kept my young children from wandering off then I'd use them.

SylviaAndSydney · 09/12/2018 23:36

Worst panic ever. So glad all was well.

PerspicaciaTick · 09/12/2018 23:50

My nearly 3yo DD disappeared in a supermarket, just stepped round a shelf one step ahead of me and disappeared. By the time I had scouted round the nearest couple of shelves, DD hove into view with a female member of staff in tow. She found me and was much calmer than me. I was so impressed that she had listened to me talk about getting lost and had remembered what to do.

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