Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Nearly lost my 3 year old today

66 replies

Soubriquet · 09/12/2018 14:53

Never really understood split second but certainly did today

Gone to the local city for a bit of shopping. Dh is in a shop, so me, dd(5) and ds(3) are sitting outside on a bench.

Spot dd has dropped a glove so she fetches it and then I zip up her pocket.

Turn round to discover ds is gone. He was literally there a second before and completely disappeared the next

I’m a complete wreck.

The security guards are radioing round to everyone to try and track him down. People are darting off trying to help search

After what feels like a lifetime but probably only 10 mins, he has been found.

He was found at the middle of the shopping centre talking about sweets.

Makes me wonder if someone tried to lure him off

I have never felt such sheer panic like I did just then

Don’t know why I’m posting. Just needed somewhere to vent

Keeping a close eye on him now

OP posts:
Trampire · 09/12/2018 15:54

Something similar happened to me in M&S shopping for school uniform.

Had dd8 and ds5 both beside with in the shop. I reached up to get a packet of shirts of a higher shelf. Looked down and ds was gone. Completely gone.
At first I didn't panic too much as I thought he'd be nearby or round the corner but he wasn't. Then I realised that the school uniform section was very near the automatic opening hours to the outside. Panic.

Me and dd looked and looked. Got shop assistant to get hold of security guards etc.

To cut a long story short, after the longest 15 mins of my life we found him in the bra department. He wasn't even upset but me and dd were complete wrecks!!

It's horrid. Anyone who thinks it can't happen to them are kidding themselves.

Trampire · 09/12/2018 15:55

Opening hours = opening doors.

Orchidflower1 · 09/12/2018 16:01

Glad all in the end. May be work mentioning to security to check cctv. Have a big cup of tea and if you have them open the Christmas choccies early. Bet you give him a big squeeze at bed time xxx 💐☕️

Myshinynewname · 09/12/2018 16:03

Trampire I know I shouldn’t laugh but I couldn’t help but think of the Father Ted episode where the priests get lost in the lingerie department Grin
www.channel4.com/programmes/father-ted/videos/all/the-wrong-department/2913118849001

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/12/2018 16:03

It is a hideous feeling!
like another poster's child, DS1 decided to hide in a rail of clothes - one second I was talking to him about shoes, then the next he was gone and I couldn't see him anywhere. The shop we were in had doors that opened straight onto road and carpark, so I panicked massively! Was so relieved to find him in the rack of clothes but had a right go at him so he wouldn't do it again!

Today we were at another shopping centre, getting Santa photos done - one of the families in front of us, their 2yo girl ran away - under the red ropes, heading straight for the main doors of the shopping centre. Her mum had to sprint to catch her! I wasn't nearest to her, other people with their own babies were in front of me, or I'd have tried to stop her before she got under the rope - but even seeing what could have happened to a complete stranger's child sets the heart going a bit faster!

Have a cup of strong sweet tea and a sit down somewhere.

Myshinynewname · 09/12/2018 16:04

So glad you found him safe and well OP Flowers

Original poster
Soubriquet · 09/12/2018 16:04

We are home now and won’t be hurrying to the city again for a while

It’s so hard to think it could happen to you, and I still get a chill when I think all of the what if’s. least he is home and safe now

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 09/12/2018 16:04

I lost dd when she was the same age, I was in a charity shop with her and dh and she vanished, she rushed outside, I searched inside, couldn’t see her anywhere, turned out she had snuck into the back room, I was a mess and dd was then really upset. She’s now almost 15 and still remembers it.

Harriedharriet · 09/12/2018 16:09

It happened to me a few years ago. A part of me died that day and I suffered for years afterwards. I became fearful and hyper vigilant which I had never been before. It settled down but I would say it took a good many years. Her increasing maturity helped me let it go.

No advise op but empathy! And the 'blink of an eye' lesson is bloody awful. Good luck.

TransposersArePosers · 09/12/2018 16:13

What a dreadful thing to go through, I am so pleased you have him safe and sound.

I've been trying to find something I once read to share but google isn't helping.
It was along the lines of - if you lose your child in a public or crowded place, shout out their description (hair colour, what they are wearing, etc) because it alerts other people that your child isn't with you so there are more pairs of eyes looking and if (horrible thought) someone is trying to lure your child away, it will draw attention to them and they are less likely to continue with doing so.

joystir59 · 09/12/2018 16:16

Little children always used to be on reins when I was a kid. Brilliant idea. It is not possible to prevent what happened today. In busy places little children need to be attached to the adult looking after them.

TransposersArePosers · 09/12/2018 16:19

And I agree with reins. I know they aren't fashionable and some people are against them but as I had a couple of bolters, I was prepared to put up with the judgey looks and comments.

Talith · 09/12/2018 16:20

It's terrifying and yes happens in the blink of an eye. You can get wristbands with contact mobile details on but people I think are genuinely good and will notice a lone toddler or tearful child and help to reunite them with their family. All's well that ends well x

MsTSwift · 09/12/2018 16:24

Dd same age slipped away in the library as I checked out books. I ran around the silent study area shouting like a loon funny how quickly you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of you. She was found by 2 older ladies at the top of an escalator about to head out into a packed city centre on a Saturday. They were horrid and roundly told me off. Happy days.

WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 09/12/2018 16:28

My DD is a runner too; but she's panics immediately when she can't see me and I can hear her mouth from a mile off.

I second what @Sparklingbrook suggested. The backpack reins are genius.
DD loves wearing her 'bag' and I've got control all the time.

Must have been terrifying, give him an extra squeeze tonight.

ElfOnTheShelfAteMyJoy · 09/12/2018 16:33

A bolter here too! And yes devotee of reins!

Wildheartsease · 09/12/2018 16:34

A chill round the heart here! So glad he is safe.

Almost lost our 3 yr old years ago. He vanished as I turned to hold a T-shirt against his sister. We checked everywhere - called in store security and they looked at CCtv but there was no sign of him leaving the shop He was found by an assistant who was kneeling to load a low shelf - he had realised he was lost and hidden himself because he was afraid.

Rogueone · 09/12/2018 16:37

Soubriquet my DS when he was 3 used to enjoy playing hide and seek and would run round with his much older siblings and hide. However he got brave and did it in a large shop. I saw him running in the corner of my eye then disappeared. It was a large sports shop and I was on my hands and knees incase he was hiding in amongst the clothes rails. My OH panicked and ran out of the shop to see if anyone had taken him out. I had security looking and his older siblings were in a state of panic too. My DS appeared , he had hidden against the wall behind a number of clothes rails. It was the most terrifying moment of my life as I truly thought he had gone off with someone.... the absolute panic and fear hasnt left me

probablynotrelevant · 09/12/2018 16:40

I lost DD in a garden centre, I honestly thought my heart was going to stop, the sheer panic. I was running about shouting her name, then I heard her shouting for me and followed the faint sound of her voice. Its a horrible feeling.

Have a nice cup of tea and order some reins on Amazon! Wink

DRE56322 · 09/12/2018 16:41

That must have been terrifying. I'm so sorry. Glad he was found (reasonably) quickly, although it must have felt like a lifetime for you.

JuniperBeer · 09/12/2018 16:41

Whilst it’s still fresh, can you have a chat with your DC about not wondering off, using specifically today as an example. Explain that you had to get the security to look, and it worried a lot of people and that it’s really important to stay right by mummy or daddy and mustn’t go anywhere without them knowing.

Extrastout · 09/12/2018 16:45

Yes, happened to me in Tescos when dd was two. That sheer panic is hard to describe.

littlebillie · 09/12/2018 16:46

We had wrist straps when we were shopping and it reinforced keeping close

misscockerspaniel · 09/12/2018 16:47

I was a bolter, and wore reins and a bright pink hat Smile

Glad all is well Wine Cake

JustWingingLifeAsUsual · 09/12/2018 16:47

This is why I always have my 2 year old DS on a harness at all times, or in a buggy! Of course it was not your fault at all, but I cannot trust anyone. There is always somebody who do things that we cannot even imagine or think of!