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Original poster

Colleague shafted me, should I still travel with her?

81 replies

Caffeineismydrug35 · 08/12/2018 10:27

I know this sounds ridiculously petty but I’m fuming at a colleague who seriously shafted me this week and am unsure about whether I should suck it up and move on or should I cut contact.
For context, I work in a very competitive environment. We have been on a mission to hit a target and yesterday (after a lot of work) I achieved it. This CF has taken credit for it resulting in a very big bonus. There is no one to back either of us so ultimately it would be my word against hers if I took it up with management. I told her exactly what I thought but she laughed it off. We car-share our journeys but I’m really tempted to make my excuses and drive everyday and get her to do the same. We work closely together so I don’t really want a major falling out but I’m so bloody pissed off. I honestly don’t know how to play this.

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 08/12/2018 10:30

Ooh tough one, as you say it's quite likely to lead to a falling out if you cancel the lift share i would imagine.
Why has she been able to claim full credit? Surely your boss knows it would not be a one man job?

mummmy2017 · 08/12/2018 10:30

You have to leave it this time, but cover your srse next time and send emails to prove you did the work.
How much is petrol to go to work each week... £20 ish and I would just join a gym and tell her your going after work.

cheesywotnots · 08/12/2018 10:32

That's mean, you don't want to look petty but maybe just say to her that you feel she really let you down, you don't feel able to trust her and would prefer not to travel with her anymore. Remain professional but keep a distance, it will come back to bite her one day. Don't bother management with it, just hold you head high and know deep down she's just a money grabbing arse licking c.f. Xmas Smile

IAmRubbishAtDIY · 08/12/2018 10:33

Speak to management. See what they say.

And drop the car share. I'd rather walk for 2 hours than share a car with someone like that.

Cherries101 · 08/12/2018 10:34

Say you can’t care share any more

TrashPanda · 08/12/2018 10:41

How much do your roles overlap with support, goodwill etc. If there's nothing she can stop or withhold that would cause massive issues, then I would stop the car sharing. I'm would probably drop into conversation that my reserves of goodwill etc towards her had all dried up following her undeserved claiming of your 'win'. I wouldn't actively sabotage or undermine but there would be nothing helpful from me to her again.

bastardkitty · 08/12/2018 10:43

'I presumed you'd have the sense to realise that when you lied and took the credit and bonus for my work, that your lifts would come to an end'.

KateGrey · 08/12/2018 10:44

I’d tell her the current situation at work and her taking credit for your work makes you feel too uncomfortable to lift share with her anymore.

ShatnersBassoon · 08/12/2018 10:45

There must be evidence of you having put the work in as well. Who scheduled the work to be done, and how were man hours allocated? You were presumably communicating progress and problems to someone, dig out all of the emails.

TheMagician · 08/12/2018 10:47

I would speak to management as well. Gather any evidence you have.

IAmcuriousyellow · 08/12/2018 10:47

God, no, no more car share. Tell her she can afford the fuel now shes got your bonus. And I’d let management know, even if they cant do anything about it you want it noted. Fucker.

TheMagician · 08/12/2018 10:48

The lifts should stop. I'd send the text above.

JorahsMistress · 08/12/2018 10:50

If there was anyway to prove it was you that deserves the bonus then i would gather that evidence and go to manager, in fact id probably go to them anyway as this would piss me off to massively not to Angry

Also i would stop the car share with immediate effect, and never ever have her in my car ever again

SD1978 · 08/12/2018 10:54

I'd stop the carshare. And I be honest why. You feel the personal relationship has irrevocably broken down, and will maintain a professional one only as taking recognition and financial gain from a project you completed doesn't not sit well. Bugger that.

JorahsMistress · 08/12/2018 11:08

And i don't think your being petty either, I understand that you don't want a major falling out as you work close together, but that's probably what this huge CF is banking on, you being too nice to kick up a fuss

Fuck that! Id definitely raise this with management, shes basically stole a big bonus from you right on top of xmas and lied to the company, im actually really furious on your behalf Angry hope you can get it sorted Thanks

SoupDragon · 08/12/2018 11:32

I would tell her that I am taking it up with management.

SoupDragon · 08/12/2018 11:33

I don’t really want a major falling out

Surely her actions have already caused one.

3luckystars · 08/12/2018 11:35

She thinks money is more important than your friendship/relationship.

Whatever you decide to do is up to you, but that is the fact.

She is no friend.

bastardkitty · 08/12/2018 11:36

Alternatively say nothing and just never give her a lift again. And if she asks for a lift just ignore and say bye.

GaryBaldbiscuit · 08/12/2018 11:37

does it benefit you to car share?
do you get priority parking?
financial incentive.

?

Wordthe · 08/12/2018 11:38

Play The long game
and when you get your chance ......

Wordthe · 08/12/2018 11:39

After all she started it
It's game on now

Sycamoretrees · 08/12/2018 11:48

Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer....

elfycat · 08/12/2018 11:51

You must have an earlier draft of your work, or an email chain with information you've gathered, and which she won't have as she didn't do the work. Even a shared network should have the individual contributions highlighted.

If you have any of this go to your manager. You won't have to lift share because she should be fired for gross misconduct...

greendale17 · 08/12/2018 11:54

'I presumed you'd have the sense to realise that when you lied and took the credit and bonus for my work, that your lifts would come to an end'.

^This is brilliant. Send her this.

You need to send her a clear message that actions have consequences