Early (early!) morning waking 2/3 year old - broken and snappy - can you leave them to cry?

[Sleephelpplease]

Hello - on second child and whole house is broken. She goes to bed at 7pm no issues (bath/ story with milk/ into cotbed and falls Asleep whilst we sit in a chair beside her (working towards being able to leave room whilst she is still awake). But she wakes every morning between 4.30/5. I used to take her into bed but she doesn’t sleep much and I didn’t at all, so we’ve tried for months to keep her in her cot and to re settle her. She doesn’t. She screams in rage. She doesn’t sleep again. Have tried holding her hand/ gradual retreat (but she doesn’t go back to sleep even if I stay in her room for 2 hours). Have tried leaving her to cry and going in every 10 mins to say night night (so she knows we are there) whilst she cries and rages. She’s waking us all including her sister and we are now so tired and snappy (3 years of broken sleep!) that I’m snapping at the kids and my relationship with my DH is suffering and we are catching all bugs going. I look a wreck. Work is being affected. I have no link between my brain and mouth and am inevitably making stupid comments. And I’m so down. She gets plenty to do in the day, had a nap some days at lunchtime but only for 30 mins. I put a second duvet on her at night before I go to sleep so she stays warm (her room is cold at 4 but she’s warm in the bed), I change her nappy in the dark in the morning if she poo’s (every morning!). Please can you give me some suggestions!

@Teateaandmoretea yes spending more of your evening with older children is inevitable and also probably quite nice. But that’s not what’s at play here.

The OP is talking about a toddler here and it’s reasonable to want a toddler to sleep for around 11 hours a night. And typically a 7pm bedtime gives parents a good chance of this being possible.

However it’s true that toddlers work to their own agenda but I stand by that it’s reasonable to want some of your evening and a post 5am start.

OP: 408am? My heart really goes out to you.

Op I'm going through this bastarding phase as well. 0322 this am. I hate being a parent right now and certainly dread weekends

He's been horrible all morning, so's DD because he woke her up at 6.30, I've made him come to bed in our bed because DD's drawing in their room, and he's asleep, which probably won't help tomorrow morning.

And PaulHollywood's unless there's been a really precise coincidence, it was me whose DC woke up at 4.08, and I'm not the OP! Thanks though!

@Philomensapie haha, we all need more sleep eh? Again, I mean it, my sympathies xx

Thanks!

I put him to bed at 6.05 tonight.

Makes sense @Philomenaspie

So now you need to wait and see if that extra however many minutes adds on to the other end.

I'm not holding my breath!

Have you tried wake to sleep method?

Does that work with 7yos?

I was once advised a child won't generally still be asleep 12 hours after their last meal

Mine eat their last meal at 5 and sleep 7-7!
DD2 was an early waker for a while, but she was younger (15-18 months). it stopped at 20 months when we dropped her nap, potty trained her and bought her a gro clock (all in the same month!).

Oh and put her into a bed that same month too!