Crashed my car into a tree earlier today. How do I get over it?

[HappyStripper]

So I was rushing to work this morning while it was pouting with rain and on a windy country road. I skidded on a bend in the road and lost traction, crashing into a tree head on and completely totaling the car.

I just don’t know what to do to get over it. I’m in a mix of denial, anger at myself and just generally upset as my car was still under a year old (well to me, it’s actually 25 years old but was still a fantastic car). I’m resting at home now but really can’t shake it off.

I also need to look at new cars immediately as I literally can’t get to work without one but it’s making me nauseous even thinking about it.

Any advice /thoughts?

Please no lectures on careful driving, the tree taught me plenty!

Are you physically okay? That must have been a terrible shock for you.

I've had an accident and wrecked my car. So totally understand how you are feeling. The age of the car means you've not lost a significant amount of money and you can find and love a new car. Take it slow for now because you're probably in shock. You might get some back pain over the next week or so, so make sure you've got some ibuprofen. Don't beat yourself up; it's very easily done xx

You poor thing, you will still be in shock. When you are over the worst of that though hopefully you will be able to be thankful you are still around to tell the tale and arent seriously injured. The car can and will be replaced. Be kind to yourself. It isn’t long since it happened so don’t worry about shaking it off for now. Are you able to take tomorrow off work to recover a bit and sort out a car?

I expect you'll be reliving it for a day or two (may be more). Don't rush. Let the feelings come and don't push them away. They'll lessen over time.

It's shock. It's a medical condition so look after yourself. Stay at home tomorrow with plenty to drink, and maybe start thinking about looking for a car over the weekend.

I did that once too. Dec 27th 2002. I broke 3 of my limbs, spent 3 weeks on a orthopaedic ward and 3 months off work.

It’s only a car, it’ll fix. If you need to then book yourself some lessons with a driving instructor to get your confidence back, I did as soon as I was well enough.

You need to give yourself time you’re still in shock. Every day that passes you’ll feel better be kind to yourself!

I did exactly this in the summer. It took me a little while but it did get better. Don't beat yourself up. You are safe and that is the most important thing.

Also be prepared to not sleep for the first night. All that adrenalin in your system means you might just not physically be able to.

Oh no, how awful & hope you're soon feeling better. At the moment it will seem like all you can think of & it will take a bit of time for you to feel the shock a bit less. It will fade though. Don't know if it's possible to have a few days off to rest a bit & look at new cars? I once went to pick my daughter up from her friend's & reversed into the neighbours' wall, completely demolishing it. I spent a few days really beating myself up for my mistake but these things can happen to anyone.

Having been there, my advice is to do nothing car related for a few days, other than insurance, police stuff that has to be done. Put it out of your mind and give yourself some TLC. IT's shock and that's not a good thing to have when making major purchases.

Oh wow, that’s a ton of responses, thank you everyone. Let me have a read through and respond to everyone!

Honestly?
I know everyone’s saying don’t rush and it’s understandable, but when I was in an accident that wrote my (much loved, older) car off, although I was properly shaken up I had somewhere I absolutely HAD to be in the afternoon.
I borrowed another car that I was insured on, drove it for 20 miles about 2 hours after I crashed, then 20 miles home.
I was more cautious, and definitely second guessed myself coming out of junctions more, even though that wasn’t how I crashed. But I got over it pretty quickly.

I’d reccomend driving again as soon as you possibly can. Accept that it’s not going to be the most pleasant thing you’ve ever done, but you need to drive, so you’ve just got to get over it. Don’t overthink it, I’m sure you’ve had years of incident-free driving. This is an inconvenient, distressing blip.

@HollowTalk

Yes I’m fine, only some seat belt bruises and a sore knee. Especially important as I’m in the US and my expenses would be crazy had I broken something etc.

And if you’re getting another older car, can I reccomend a Toyota Yaris. Mine’s 16 years old and going strong.

@Frozenteatowel

I can definitely take a bit of time at work. One pro of being a stripper is I can come in or not come in whenever, though it also means no sick pay etc. currently watching doctor who on the couch with a heating pad on my knee.

It’s lovely to have some support about this, my husband isn’t going to be home for a few hours and I don’t really have anyone I could talk to about it right now.

Just to reiterate what everyone has said - you don't get over it in an evening. You have to go through the process.

It must have been very scary.

@MadameJosephine
Wow I’m so sorry to hear that! That sounds awful and I’m definitely grateful that I wasn’t hurt at all. I’m hoping it’s just a few bruises as with my job an injury can definitely be pretty devastating with how physical it is

@JasmineBuckles

It was actually a Toyota 4Runner and I love the car. We go camping a lot so we ideally need an suv in the family and I do feel safer in a bigger car here as everyone drives a damn truck so it’s reassuring to not be too much smaller than them.

Agree with @JasmineBuckles I haven't had this type of experience but similar and think this is probably a "get back on that horse" situation.

Thanks again everybody, it’s lovely to have some support with it. My parents in law picked me up from the crash and all my father in law could do was give me a lecture and ask whether I was still going to work! Didn’t really help on top of me feeling crappy about it already.

I’m also a fairly new driver (less than a year) so it was just very upsetting as I’m blaming myself for not being careful enough etc. I feel a bit stupid in general.

@5amWakeUo

I think I should get back to it, and I’ll definitely have to as there’s not a single bus route / tram / steam train here so if I want to get anywhere I’ll have to drive. Unfortunately our two other cars are both manual and I drive an automatic so can’t just jump into one of those.

@HappyStripper I posted before I realised you were in the US. I would NOT drive my little car over there 😂

Hope you’re ok, and as another poster said, get back on the horse!

@JasmineBuckles

Yes! That was one of my key considerations when getting this thing. I think I may get a newer generation 4runner, suddenly I’m wanting more crumple zones and some better anti lock brakes. Plus I don’t think I’d want something completely identical just because of the accident, even though it wasn’t the car’s fault (though I definitely will switch to street tires rather than all terrains, they get ridiculously slippery in the rain and I should have done it earlier)

❤️