Help!! DD will only do a poo if she is in her bed!

[moneyworries8]

DD has been potty trained for almost a year. She is just over 2 and a half. She was very quick to potty train and wanted to go to the toilet like her big sister so it was a very easy process.

The problem is, for as long as I can remember, she has always waited until she's in bed to do a poo. Since she was months old. It's like she holds it in until she's in bed for either her nap or night time sleep, and then does it. Like I said, this has been going on since long before I potty trained her. I still put nappies on her for naps as she is quite a sweaty child and drinks loads so don't think it would be fair on her to stop putting her nappies on at bedtime yet. The problem is, she literally has never done a poo on the toilet in the whole year she's been potty trained. She doesn't have accidents in her pants, she still only does them when she's in bed with a nappy on.

I've tried explaining to her. I've also tried bribery with chocolate but nothing is working. What should I do?

Thanks :)

Honestly I'd wait until you think she is ready to remove her nighttime nappy and then she will just have no choice.

She is 2.5 and therefore not ready so you wait

She’s not ready. You can’t force it.

Aww bless she's still little. Leave her as she is. She is partly potty trained, which is fine for her age.

You could try getting her to sit on the toilet before bed but while wearing the nappy and see if she goes that way.

She’s not actually potty trained properly. She’s just in a routine with poos, like lots of people, so it isn’t an issue during the day.

Just wait a bit and try again. Put her on the potty when she’s due a poo and reward her when she goes.

DS2 was like this. I told him if he did a poo on the potty he'd get a mini marshmallows, but didn't make a big deal out of it. DS1 made a bigger deal out of it hecause he knew he'd get a marshmallow too. It'll come in time.

I would just wait, she is still very little and you don’t want it turning into a battle.

She's still a baby really. Just wait it out. She won't still be doing it when she's 10 probably

I agree with the advice to wait a while - when she's 3 she may be more open to change. I toilet trained my daughter at 3 and she avoided pooing in the toilet at first. I probably won't win a parent of the year award for this, but here's what worked...
Kinder Eggs. 6 of them. Lined up over the TV where she could see them but not reach them. I explained that each time she did a poo in the toilet she would get one. I also read the poo goes to pooland story to her a few times. Every poo after that was in the toilet. By the time we went through the 6 Kinder Eggs it was all sorted. All poos have been in the loop since.
Hope that's helpful to you. Good luck when the time comes x

She is not potty trained.

She is like this because she is too young and not emotionally ready to potty train.

Try again in 6-8 months.

I told him if he did a poo on the potty he'd get a mini marshmallows, but didn't make a big deal out of it. DS1 made a bigger deal out of it hecause he knew he'd get a marshmallow too.

I think I could be bribed to do most things with a marshmallow; to be fair. Genius plan.

You get a very appealing big girl toy ready for when she is a big girl and does a poo on the toilet. You get her to pick it and remind her when you get home she can have it if she uses the toilet for a poo. If it’s coming to the time of day when she usually poos, you ask her if she wants to be a big girl and poo on the loo. You remind her of the prize. You don’t give on, and you remain firm. No poo in the loo no toy. If she uses the loo once and then goes back to using her nappy, she’s obviously not a big girl and the toy goes away until she is.

I disagree with those who say she is too you don't to potty train. My DD is 22 months and has been potty trained for 2 months (not nighttime) and she has sorted poos too. BUT, I wouldn't force the issue and I would say that she will just get there in her own time. It's quite common for children to be poo shy. Poo goes to Pooland and oh crap potty training are both tools which I used for my DD.

If she's only ever pooed lying down since she was a small baby it's probably the only way her body knows how right now. Only way to try and stop this is to put her to bed without a nappy on. I would go naked bottom half definitely, and leave potty in the room. See what happens.

I don't agree that she's "not potty trained".

She never has accidents throughout the waking day. She always asks to go to the toilet when she needs. She is potty trained completely for wees and has been for a year, but hasn't mastered poos yet. I wouldn't say she's not potty trained.

Sorry but to be blunt she isn’t potty trained, she’s close though. It’s like saying you’ve learnt to drive but can’t reverse or park. Both fairly crucial elements that need to be mastered before you’re considered a driver.

However I disagree with PP that she’s too young and you should wait, she’s at the prime age. If you wait any longer she’ll only get more strong willed.

Pretty much the first thing that a new born baby experiences is a nappy being put on and then they poo in it. The feeling of warm poo squashed up against their bum is gross all they’ve ever known and it’s comfortingly familiar.

I’d suggest you make a big show of praising your elder DD for pooing on the potty / toilet.
Then just bite the bullet, no more nappies at bed or nap time. Buy a box load of disposable absorbent bed pads and I’m sure you’ll quickly find she will stop pooing herself after a few accidents.

I don't agree that she's "not potty trained".

She never has accidents throughout the waking day. She always asks to go to the toilet when she needs.

She is potty trained completely for wees and has been for a year, but hasn't mastered poos yet.

I wouldn't say she's not potty trained.

The italic bit describes a child who is NOT fully potty trained.

And 18 months is very young to be potty trained, it's no surprise she didn't quite mastered it

I had an issue with Dd holding onto her poo for days on end. 6 days being the record! The book 'poo goes to poo land' helped. Pretty gross but hey!

I'd leave off the nappies. DD would always have a wet nappy but was reliably dry and clean during the day. I left off nappies, lifted her last thing at night and never had a wet bed.
I think she's just comfortable using the nappy so why bother to do anything else.
DD was fully potty trained at 17 months, DS at 16 months so it can be done earlier but obviously depends on the child.

My lo was exactly the same. Great with wees but would hold onto her poos. It just came with time. Aged about 3.5 she realised that if she went for a poo when she needed to it made her tummy feel better. Try not to worry. Just keep encouraging her and it will happen

I thought quartz wrote "she's 25 and therefore not ready, so you wait"

It will happen,OP, when she's ready. Hopefully before she's 25 tho

www.ntw.nhs.uk/content/uploads/2016/08/Poo-Goes-To-Pooland.pdf
This little book worked an overnight miracle with my DS!

My DD was like this, turned out she was suffering from constipation and the withholding was because it hurt. She's been on movicol for 2 years now but didn't poo on the toilet until she'd started on the movicol. Might be worth a trip to the GP to rule it out before it gets out of hand like it did with us.