How long would you go without sex...

[User3000]

Before you started to question why?

(Whilst in a relationship)

I lasted a year before we had the first (of many hideous) frank conversation about it. In the end I lasted four and a half years before I ended it.

I was an idiot. I'd not let it go more than a month now before having the conversation - not that DH would either!

A month maybe. If everyone was very busy, sick, there was a reason...

However if DH stopped physical affection in general? One day.

Well it’s been over four years now and we’ve not had a conversation.
Tbh I don’t know how either of us could manage apart though.

I was forced to go a miserable 12.5 years without. I was ok for the first 5 or 6 but after that the rot seriously set in as all intimacy was lost. I divorced.

We’re a 2 or 3 times a week couple so If it went two weeks then questions would be raised!

2 weeks

2 weeks

I'm surprised how many of you have gone years without it 😮

It's been 6 weeks so far. We're usually a once or twice a week couple. So we're not at it like rabbits but fairly regular.

Feeling a bit put out tbh.

A couple of weeks unless we'd been particularly busy etc...

We manage once a month. We both work full time so exhausted by the time it comes around.

I would like more but feel uncomfortable as I'm fat 😩

He's too kind to mention it but I hate being naked.

2 weeks

Coming up on 2 years here. Two tiny cock-blockers who end up in our bed half the time

@n0ne ah yes, I am familiar with the cock blockers of which you speak.

2 years is a bit excessive though! Can't you have a quick shag on the sofa once they've gone to bed?

Even though I'm clearly not in a position to be dishing out sex advice... Sigh

If you’re usually a couple of times a week, at 6 weeks it might be worth a quick chat to see if everything’s ok. Have you initiated and been turned down or waited for him to come to you and nothing?

I think, in busy times, I could go a full month before I noticed but I'd be worried it was significant after two months.

About a week. Me and DH have very high sex drives and usually will have sex everyday so I’d question it very early

In a relationship I'd be asking why after a week But certainly after a month I would be wanting to know what's wrong. After a few months without, if the issue wasn't being addressed in some way, I'd leave the relationship.

I struggle if it is anything more than a week even with extenuating circumstances. Indeed, normally I would start climbing the walls after 4 days, get teary and feel hard done by. Not something I can easily help, as dyi does not quell this need for closeness. Luckily, we are broadly on the same page with my OH. I would not survive a sexless relationship, it would absolutely destroy me mentally and physically.

Physical connection is very important to me.

We're just getting out of a 12/18month dry spell but then our boys and 23m and 11m so it's probably not surprising. I didn't question things much as we had a valid reason but for no reason I'd probably question things after a month or so

Glad to see it's not just me who would be pondering after this length of time.

@BuffaloCauliflower I did briefly mention it a couple of weeks ago (I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, probably not the best time to bring it up)
He said he couldn't believe it had been that long and that nothing was wrong, gave me a hug and went to sleep 🤔😭

He does work hard and is up early in the mornings so I understand he's tired... but surely a bit of intimacy now and again isn't too much to ask?

Less than a week

Oh and I haven't initiated. I tend not to any more.

Indefinitely.

Sex is only a part of a relationship.

Alpine/Butterfly, I understand what you are saying.

Circumstances change our wants and needs which is no bad thing because it teaches us the meaning of real love and affection.

4 years. And before that it been a year. And before that it had been a year.

We are separating.

How long have you been in the relationship / married?

Probably a month at the longest, especially with no tiny babies or breastfeeding getting in the way.

My sex drive is pretty much back up to where it was pre-kids so I'd probably pounce if nothing for longer than 3 days, unless on my period when I just want to be left the fuck alone.