To hate what AIBU has turned in to...

[Itsines]

... and that awful phrase 'well you shouldn't have posted in AIBU then'

I'm fairly new here, but am wondering... has AIBU always been a place to attack other users quite openly in a way that you never would in the real world?

Yes.

It's awful. I never post a post myself there. I find it's creeping over to Chat a bit too.

You’re new but you don’t like it?

Maybe you need another forum.

If you’re new here, what precisely has AIBU ‘turned into’? It’s always been a place of very frank replies, and most of MN (old and new) know that. Most of the time it’s a harsh-but- fair place, unfortunately if the op doesn’t like the replies they, and the minority that agree with them, cause a far bigger fuss (calling bully when it’s evidently not the case for example) than the main bulk of the thread.

How can you hate what it’s turned into if you didn’t know what it was in the first place

Unless it was like that from day 1 which I gather from a few threads it hasn't always been that way, then yes, I am referring to what it has 'turned in to'.

I didn't say it happened during the time I was a member of mn.

I've read some posts which have been really quite cruel and would be considered bullying behaviour in the real world. People forget that many different types vulnerable people turn to the internet for help and opinions.

I've read some posts which have been really quite cruel and would be considered bullying behaviour in the real world.

Can you give examples?

Also, a friendly word of warning since you seem to be a MN/AIBU newbie. Don’t get too invested in the plights of some ‘victims’ on here. Many are exaggerating or just plain lying.

Aibu has always been very contentious, since it first started. But, honestly, how can you offer an opinion as a newbie when you don't know what it was like from the start?

Full of utter fucking wankers.

But, there's still a good few eggs on there and I've had immeasurable help.

I just ignore the bell ends and sort the wheat from the chaff. I will still post on there because it's worth it.
I don't think it will remain worth it, but at the moment there's still enough decent posters on there.

I’ve been here just over 15 years - despite the fact that it’s bigger (i.e a far larger pool of opinion) I’d say AIBU has always been notoriously frank.

If you don’t want to know if you are being unreasonable then don’t ask. Simple.

Ok. So maybe I should've said

'To hate what AIBU IS' not 'what AIBU has turned in to'

Apologies. I stick to my guns though and really do find it quite sad to read at times.

When you post on AIBU you have to have a cast iron thread that you are entirely sure will garner a good vote or have balls of steel to argue the toss if the thread turns.

It’s no place for the sensitive of souls.

Don’t post on AIBU if you’re over sensitive.

It’s always been like this.

These last 10 years or so AIBU has become a little bit more bitey.

I love it

The thing is OP, if you want gentle advice you can find it on on many many of the other boards on MN. Search through them, some of the finest most honest caring support is available to you from wonderful people for the most sensitive of situations is here. AIBU is just a tiny part of MN. Leave it be!

Don’t post on AIBU if you’re over sensitive.

But it's OK for the under-sensitive to post here, clearly.

It's OK for everyone to post here. That's the point isn't it?

YABU. Women don't have to be 'nice'.

But it's OK for the under-sensitive to post here, clearly

Exactly, because we don’t suffer break downs due to a few randoms on the Internet.
Over sensitive types need to take responsibility for where they post, everyone know what AIBU is like, if you can’t handle it, why post here when there are other parts of the forum that are softer?

I remember a time when AIBU didn’t exist

Nah, it's always been a bunfight...

I've been here years and it's always been like that. Maybe a bit harsher the last couple of years but still not somewhere I'd ever ask a question! I know what you mean. Just don't go on there.

everyone know what AIBU is like, if you can’t handle it, why post here when there are other parts of the forum that are softer?

The OP is posting in chat not aibu.

If you can't filter out the unnecessarily harsh from the tough love and the tongue in cheek then there is probably another board on Mumsnet where you can get what you need.

But personally, I like the sport of posting among other women who are not limiting themselves to being agreeable.

The OP is posting in chat not aibu

Sorry, I meant there not here. Op is taking about AIBU.

I find it useful to hear strong opinions, clearly expressed. This is rare in real in life as social niceties preclude it. If it becomes unnecessarily bitchy and unkind then the talk is removed.