To hate what AIBU has turned in to...

[Itsines]

... and that awful phrase 'well you shouldn't have posted in AIBU then'

I'm fairly new here, but am wondering... has AIBU always been a place to attack other users quite openly in a way that you never would in the real world?

@EnidButton my point perfectly illustrated. It infects other boards too. Horrible.

FissionChips Sun 02-Dec-18 19:46:56

The OP is posting in chat not aibu

Sorry, I meant there not here. Op is talking about AIBU.

This made me laugh. I spend so much time in AIBU i tend to forget i've wandered out of it sometimes ....

AIBU and MN is much friendlier now than years ago. There was a vile, snooty and nasty, bullying clique. HullyGully was cool. though.

I know this is in 'Chat', but you have titled your post as if it is following AIBU to.......... so no wonder people are saying, yes, YABU.

I read it all the time, and post sometimes.
I don't see posters "attacking other users quite openly in a way you never would in the real world". If you see a poster attacking another poster, then report it to MNHQ.

If, however, a poster says "AIBU to.......{ insert whatever they do or think}" ...... then they need to be ready to be told, "Yes, YABU". If you aren't ready, then don't ask.
If someone in RL asked me "Do you think IABU to {insert issue}?", and I thought they were, then I would tell them so. If they were just doing it, I possibly wouldn't - depending on situation.

If a person wants support, then there are plenty of other boards to use. If thy want advice or sympathy, there are plenty of other boards to use. If they want honest opinions, then they can use AIBU. If they are feeling vulnerable or very sensitive, then don't go around asking people for honest opinions as to if YABU or not - in RL or the internet.

Mn was way better before aibu just seems to be full of very spiky people atm

AIBU to think that my chicken vindaloo is far too hot? I like a nice korma it's so much less hot, and although I knowingly ordered the hottest thing on the menu I think it should be much more like the korma that I could have ordered.

In fact I think everything on the menu should be no hotter than a korma (or maybe the omelette for the timid) regardless of how it's described or traditionally made.

Hey op, Netmums is that way >>>>>>>>>>>>

I've been around for a while, on and off.

I think some posters try to emulate banter and wit but don't pull it off very well and look like arseholes.

Yawn at the dull netmums reference trawled out again

In AIBU if your arse is being handed to you on a plate, then you most likely deserve it

OP: AIBU?
Most Posters: Yes
OP: no i'm not, heres a massive dripfeed
Most Posters: Still Yes

It's simple, if you don't like it and I don't think it has changed during the years I've been on here, press the X in the top right hand corner. I assume there isn't someone holding a gun to your head, forcing you to go on AIBU?

I understand where you’re coming from but actually, it’s always had aggressive posters. Some are passionate but some are just plain nasty. Been here years and occasionally, we get posters who said it’s got horrible but ‘twas ever thus.

To be honest, I think threads like this do get backs up. If you come into any established group and tell people they’re doing it all wrong, you aren’t going to make many friends. I’m not saying we shouldn’t call out personal abuse but it’s unfair to make sweeping statements when many of us are saying - unfortunately- there’s always been a subset of twats on AIBU.

I've heard of HullyGully before on some threads. Why was she so cool and what heppened to her?

Exactly, because we don’t suffer break downs due to a few randoms on the Internet.
Over sensitive types need to take responsibility for where they post, everyone know what AIBU is like, if you can’t handle it, why post here when there are other parts of the forum that are softer?

You sound very dismissive of what you call 'over-sensitive' people, but sensitivity is an arbitrary standard. If you think someone's over-sensitive, that's an opinion, not a fact. Why should people who might be feeling sensitive for a good reason have to feel they can't go on AIBU and talk about their issue because people will just be nasty? What is constructive about putting other people down?

Women don't have to be 'nice'.

Nobody HAS to be nice. But it truly baffles me why people would actively want to be unkind the way I've seen sometimes in AIBU and other parts of Mumsnet.

I think the habit of piling on a thread and mercilessly picking every aspect of a poster's life to shreds is quite new. As is the prevalence of right-wing posters (eg those suggesting people should abort their wanted pregnancies rather than 'sponge off the state'). This kind of post would have been deleted in the past I reckon.

I've had to post in aibu recently and the responses I've had have been nothing but supportive and kind some really great advice in there and if I'm being totally honest i don't know how I would of got through the last 48 hours without the wonderful mnettrrs who have posted on that thread.

AIBU is the only board at the top of the list, nothing anywhere else on the site seems to matter anymore.

Should only be AIBU. Is that OK for me to say that!

A lot of posts here prove OP’s point

Why should people who might be feeling sensitive for a good reason have to feel they can't go on AIBU and talk about their issue because people will just be nasty? What is constructive about putting other people down?

Because if you are feeling sensitive, then there are all sort of boards you can go on - relationships, parenting, chat, health, elderly parents, TTC, money matters (obviously, depending on the issue) - dozens upon dozens upon dozens or threads where you can go on and say 'Can you help me please'. MNs (as a whole) are incredibly supportive and helpful when people need advice or need a hand hold or need to talk things through or whatever. But MNers will also be honest, if asked by a poster if they are being unreasonable.

There are hundreds of thousands of people on this site. Of courser there are occasionally posts that make you go , but overwhelmingly people aren't nasty on MN except a few idiots that love to criticise anyone with a religion.

Head to netmuns if you want to be told that is your bubz your rulez.

Head to Mumsnet chat if you want some friendly gossipy guff.

Head to AIBU to hear the actual truth that other people are too afraid to actually tell you.

That's the difference.

It's a bit like:
"AIBU to earn £75k and be upset I can't spend £1000 on this season's bag?"

Netmums: "your cash, your rules hunni"
Chat: "that sucks, maybe you should save a little or look for a sale?"
AIBU: "don't be cock, spending that much on something like a bag is fucking stupid"

Why should people who might be feeling sensitive for a good reason have to feel they can't go on AIBU and talk about their issue

Because it’s plain stupid to post on a board that you know will most likely upset you, plain fucking stupid.
There are many supportive boards, practically the rest of mumsnet is supportive.

The issue is Traffic. AIBU is traffic central, so if one posts on another board there is not much TRAFFIC really is there.

So AIBU is the go to place now IMO.