I've just had cancer removed from my face

[elliollie]

As the title says, I had basal cell carcinoma on my nose and I had it removed last week and a skin graft used from my neck. I saw the wound for the first time the other day and it looks awful, much bigger than I thought and really not nice. I know it will get better but I'm sad.
I wish people would be honest rather than say it's not too bad or it will get better. I know they're only being nice but it makes me feel silly for being upset. (Not crying every minute but sad)
Please tell me I'm not unreasonable to wallow in self pity for a week or two!

It's really hard when you have to come to turns with a big change in a body part - even more so if it is on your face. YANBU and you are definitely not unreasonable for feeling upset.

Oh I had this removed from
My breast what a mess. Ten stitches and bruises apparently quite common. Takes it out of you. I have a scar.

Of course you are. Its your face. Its what you and others see most!

Can you wear make up? Or ask for some nice makeup for Xmas? Or wear jewellery if you want to distract?

You don't need me to tell you but leaving the cells would have had much worse outcome. I hope you feel better soon

You are definitely not being unreasonable to have a wallow. It’s your face!

Let me tell you though, that faces heal really quickly and really well. I bet you’ll be amazed at how different it looks in, say, a year. (I’ve not had a skin graft but I’ve had nose surgery as well as a having had quite a few stitches in my chin. Neither scar is visible unless you actually know what you’re looking for, but they looked awful to start with).

It will get better.

I had one removed from near by eye. It sort or left a gentle hole but not really noticable.

Now I’m older and getting wrinkles they are working their towards the scar and scar seems bigger.

But take care and be gentle with that skin and it should heal well.

I hope that didn’t come across as being dismissive. Seriously, I’d be gutted. It’s horrible that this has happened and you don’t need to pretend otherwise!

Thanks everyone. This is what I need to hear in real life, instead of platitudes, however well-meaning.

Op I felt I didn’t look like meself after. My bsc was a large colourful mole and now it’s not there I look v different in photos.

But the thing wasn’t doing me any good so I’m glad it’s gone.

Leave the site to heal as well as possible. Keep it clean but avoid beauty products ‘till it’s properly healed. Wear plaster if you have to.

So sorry to hear you are feling down about this, I know I would be too. I live in terror of this having lived in the sun for a good few years.
Two people I know have had lip or nose ones removed. Both looked truly awful at the time but in both cases you would never know they have had anything removed. Someone else I know has a large scar from a graft but even that really doesn't look that bad.
I'm sure we would all feel like you in your position. I hope you feel better soon. Spoil yourself with, whatever you fancy!

I know three people who have had these removed from the nose (I'm guessing its common in our age group) yes they do look bad when just done but now, while slightly noticeable its better than the bleeding then healing scabs that were their before..

I think part of it is that I'm quite a private person. Any other medical issues I may have, I would only choose to share with the people that I want to share with. Because this is on my face, I have no choice. I actually had two complete strangers ask me what I'd done in the supermarket yesterday! Who does that??
I will get over it but I want family and friends to stop playing it down and acknowledge that I'm finding it tough!

Op I second what @howrudeforme said. You have every right to feel how you do. Give yourself permission. I would also second though leaving it alone and let it heal. Frustrating I know. Keep the area nice and clean, follow your teams advice and don't cover in make up or potions etc until healed. Once healed and your medical team happy for you to do so, have you thought about bio oil or similar product? I can't be sure if it's the oil or the massage motion stimulating the area but it helps. I suffer from lipomas and had some removed from some very inconvenient places and like you felt very conscious. ( admittedly I am very shallow) The ritual I did with the oil helped & improved scarring but i wonder if it was the massage motion that was the key. You have had a tough time here but you will get back to your old self. These surgeons are very skilled. Give it time , allow yourself to heal and swellings and rawness to go and you will be reet. Sometimes people say things with the best intention. Indulge yourself now, healthy food, veg veg veg.. and fruit.. lots or water etc. If you smoke, stop that for now as it slows down wound healing, allow your body to repair. Lots of vigorous walks, get that oxygen pumping in your blood and around your body, all aids wound healing. X

Thank you, some lovely, kind advice from all of you. It has to stay covered til early next week then I'll leave it uncovered at home but feel I want to cover it in public for the time being. Luckily, I only work out of the house one day a week and the rest is working from home so I can have lots of uncovered time. My sister has got me some bio oil which I'll start with once it's healed.
I'm not really a make up wearing unless I'm going out for an evening and I don't really want to change that.

My scar is at the top of my cheekbone, very close to the corner of one eye. I felt so fragile after surgery, terrified someone would touch me. Mixed reactions from my family, skin cancer doesn't seem to be taken seriously by a lot of people. Sorry, I am rambling, just wanted to say I think it's totally natural to feel how you feel. Good luck with your recovery!

How long did you have it for op? (There is a reason I'm asking but won't derail thread)

Hope you have a speedy recovery op.

I have Vitiligo on my face. I wear foundation to try and even the contrast. Sometimes a little can really boost your confidence. I'm not a huge fan of make up either so I do understand.

@elliollie those strangers in the supermarket are rude and ignorant fools! That's their issue as they are idiots with no idea. Don't spend any time worrying about those d'heads. Pls keep in your mind that the surgery you have bravely undertaken is securing your future . Next time you are in the supermarket and any tactless ignorants give you any grief, let you inner gangsta come out. That's why god gave us middle fingers! 😉

@ADastardlyThing I think about a year. I have psoriasis and I mistook it for that at first. Then it became a scab that never healed.

@FannyFanackerpants71 I looked them straight in the eye and told them it was skin cancer and watched them squirm!

Not bio oil but silicone scar reducer, seriously it will make a HUGE difference to how it heals. You poor thing, it sounds like it really sucks.

Oh I have never had a skin graft, however i was glassed when much much younger and absolutely no one could tell from about 10 weeks after. I can see it (and cannot touch it still) but it seems invisible to others. Even my DP can't see it.
Umm think about 15 stitches so big enough.

I’m not surprised you’re finding it tough. It’s a big change, and your face us on show the whole time. You can’t hide it like you can other body parts.

The cancer has been removed, which is good, but you will have to come to terms with your changed appearance. Bio oil will help. And i’m Sure the scar seems much bigger to you than it will to other people.

The people in the supermarket were twats. And rude. It might be an idea having a few replies ready to rude questions, so you’re not flustered if strangers ask you about it.

Thanks for replying op.

I have psoriasis too, op, so I sympathise.

@elliollie good for you. I hope they had a sleepless night and felt like right donuts! Anyhoo, to hell with them. What are your plans for next year OP? Nice holiday in the making? Tell us what you are planning for 2019. I'm getting a new driveway! Beat that!