I've just had cancer removed from my face

[elliollie]

As the title says, I had basal cell carcinoma on my nose and I had it removed last week and a skin graft used from my neck. I saw the wound for the first time the other day and it looks awful, much bigger than I thought and really not nice. I know it will get better but I'm sad.
I wish people would be honest rather than say it's not too bad or it will get better. I know they're only being nice but it makes me feel silly for being upset. (Not crying every minute but sad)
Please tell me I'm not unreasonable to wallow in self pity for a week or two!

@ADastardlyThing Don't worry about derailing, especially if you're wanting advice, someone on here may be able to help you. I'm not 'thread precious'

Wallow away, it always looks awful at first and you can't really hide it, can you. It really will fade away within a year and look soooo much better than you now think it will.

@FannyFanackerpants71 Well, we had a big holiday this summer so diy year next year. Although Dh and I are going on a CHILD FREE short cruise later in the year!

I had an area of skin cancer removed from the side of my nose a few years ago, god I was so self conscious! I know exactly how you feel op ! I’ll be honest It looked quite noticeable for the best part of a year. A couple of years on and it’s looking so much better, it’s not something I even look for in the mirror anymore.
At the time I worked in a customer facing role and couldn’t believe how insensitive the general public could be, these days I have a more ‘fuck it’ attitude

@elliollie ohh,, bummer about the DIY. I did DIY this year! But, cruise ... cruise sounds good ! Where are you heading OP? Sunny climbs or Nordic ? We sent MiL and FIL on a Nordic cruise for 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago... ( that's why we had no money to go away ourselves) They LOVED it. Said it was brilliant. x

Thanks for your honesty @IdogMax

My mom had the same, basically a hole punched in her face and filled in with a little skin graft. You honestly cannot see a thing now after 2 years. Just be patient, and follow the dermatologist's advice to the letter.

As for other people commenting, well done on your response. People love to point something, anything, out to make themselves feel clever. My friend lost a heel on a high heeled pair of shoes one day, and a couple of people saw fit to point it out to her. Like she hadn't noticed that her one leg was suddenly 3 inches shorter! Twats.

@FannyFanackerpants71 It's actually a Musicals cruise! Southampton to Dublin on a Royal Caribbean charted boat. I went on the 80s cruise this year and it was fab! Camp, cheesy and nuts but really good fun. Dh loves musicals and Alfie Boe, Sheridan Smith and Callabro will all be performing on board. We have some lovely friends who will move into our house for 5 nights to look after the children.

Coming on also to say use silicone scar stuff. It's gold standard stuff. I wouldn't go anywhere near bio oil. My consultant recommended almond oil for massaging scars, but it's the massaging itself that makes the difference.

@ADastardlyThing I had mine (also on my nose) for a few years. Mine was also like OP’s description of a scab that doesn’t heal, though I guess mine was smaller as I didn’t need a skin graft.

OP you’re entitled to feel however you want, but I’m sure your friends are trying to be supportive - I honestly don’t think them saying “My God you look terrible” would make you feel better! My somewhat childish work colleagues delighted in saying “so what does your opponent look like?”

@elliollie well there you are. I love musicals ... and I was a teen in the 80's ... and my parents are Dubliners! There you are OP! Great minds and all that. Have a brilliant time!! Sounds fantastic! Enjoy! You win.. my new drive cannot compare with that! 😂

@BeeFarseer can you link to silicone product pls? Thankyou.

Poor you but as someone else said here, the face does heal better (and hands) than other parts of the body.

I had a lump the size of Greenland cut out of a softer part of my anatomy and now I have just a very fine white line where the op was - and it was very angry looking at the time.

Hang in there and never forget your sunscreen (all of us).

@MrsFezziwig I know you're right, I have lovely family and friends and they mean well. I just want them to realise that I'm a bit sad and that doesn't mean I'll feel like that forever but I don't want to be 'jollied' out of it just yet.

I had the exact same and surgery in June, by the beginning of August it was a faint silvery type scar, barely noticeable without make up and with foundation you can't see it at all.
Your face will heal well and quickly, I was pleasantly surprised even a fortnight later. Don't forget right after surgery there is bruising, swelling and broken capillaries they all heal in time.
Sending hugs to you I know how it feels x

@LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD the irony of it is that I'm far from a sun worshipper! I burnt very badly quite a few times as a child though and my skin type makes me higher risk of skin cancer.

I'm going to post a photo of the first time I saw it on Friday. If you're squeamish then scroll past.

Also massage the area with almond oil as mentioned above and put your factor 50 on every day.

@elliollie go for it girl , rock hard us lot.

Here you go

Thank you so much everyone. Although it's making me feel a tearful, it's a relief to be able to be honest about how I feel.

*feel a bit tearful

@elliollie that will heal no probs. Eat well and stop smoking if you smoke. You will be good as new by cruise. xx

I hope you don’t mind me asking OP but how big was the part you had removed to warrant needing a skin graft? Asking because I have a consultation for the same thing in a couple of weeks but the sore (on the side of my nose) seems to have become smaller since it first appeared in the summer. Getting a bit worried tbh.

@elliollie have a good cry and let it out. It has affected you greatly and that's Ok. Let it out. x