Do you actively teach your children “life skills”?

[Notcontent]

Was just reading a thread about someone who can’t cook or do various other things around the house. Not for the first time it occurred to me that actually, a lot of the things that we do in daily life like cooking, shopping for food, sewing on a button, etc may seem easy or obvious, but not if you have never done them before!

Looking back, I think I learned a lot of things by seeing my parents do them, although I think something like looking also requires a lot of practice. Do you think there is a danger that future generations will become more incompetent, as most children (at least the ones I know) seem to do very little at home?

Mine are learning some along the way as they get older and are expected to contribute but it’s useful reading a thread like this to remind myself what the 10year old can now do and what other things I need to make an active effort to teach because it’s not part of daily life (like sewing on a button or ironing because we never iron except special occasion wear!)

My dcs are expected to help with general cleaning and tidying. They do some laundry, gardening, and cooking and baking.
I get them to ask in shops if say, we can’t find something that they need or theyre looking for shoes in their size.
I want them to grow up to be confidant and competent adults.
(Plus have an easier life at home for me!)

My DC left home able to cook, wash and iron, drive a car and budget; however, none of us can do any kind of DIY. I was never taught (and have dyspraxia) and my ex never taught either DC . I YouTube some stuff, but generally it makes life very expensive .

I think circumstances can play a part. I grew up an only child with mum and dad, mum didn't work until I was 11 and then did part time whilst I was at school. She had previously been a PA so was hyper organised and as a result spent most of her time organising me and tbh it didn't do me any favours.

DD (14) is also an only child, but I was back at work part time when she was 18 weeks old and went full time when XH and I split up 3 years ago. I simply don't have the time, energy or brain space to be micro managing her and she knows we are a team of two and the more she helps out, the more time we get to enjoy together.

She needs a good prod now and then but she can deal with laundry, wash up, cook a simple meal, Hoover, help with pet care etc.

I can't claim to have gone out of my way to teach her those skills, but I do think a little benign neglect goes a long way!

My eldest daughter did a cartwheel earlier, despite being expressly forbidden. She managed to kick a shelf off the wall and is currently getting a lesson in how to polyfilla, set new rawlplugs in and rehang a shelf. She's 10, and is managing just fine so far.

I do teach cooking, sewing, knitting, how to write a meal plan and shop, how to use public transport, how to use the washing machine etc. No child of mine will leave home without knowing how to take care of themselves.

Dmil (according to her and them) had them all cooking cleaning, taught them to iron etc. out of four two of them are clean freaks ultra organised etc and two are messy don't cook etc. on the days we run off each other I get lectured that I do too much for the kids even though I do try my best to make them help with cleaning tidying organising etc, on the days we get on well she says it doesn't make a difference it's in their make up from birth!!!

Ps younger two actively help older two have to be nagged into it (they used to be helpers!)

Can’t believe my dc can’t make simple phone calls. We make them phone in the takeaway order sometimes now .

There was an article on Radio 4 this morning about how teachers have had enough of being expected to teach children things that their parents should be taking care of.

I think women who mystify these very basic skills as if they are somehow very difficult to master and specific to women/mothers/wives do us all an enormous disservice. Children should be able to cook, clean, launder etc themselves - these are not taxing activities.

I agree nostaples - but I think that also extends to acting like if your mum didn't show you you can never learn. I see lots of men being excused from household chores because 'he doesn't know how because his mum did everything for him', which is just quite a handy way of making it all a woman's fault again.

My son is 3 and very helpful and considerate with regards to tidying and putting his plate away. Litter is a bit of an obsession for him and he will pick up rubbish in the street and put it in the bin. Will be interesting to see if he grows up to be ultra tidy as I'm certainly not.

We are a small family of two so perhaps this plays a part in it.

There was an article on Radio 4 this morning about how teachers have had enough of being expected to teach children things that their parents should be taking care of.

I work in a secondary school office and it is absolutely shocking. We have a constant stream of parents in every day bringing forgotten lunches, homework, books, PE kit, mobile phone because their kids can't possibly cope without them for 6-8 hours.

When it's Year 7 you can understand a bit...not so much when it's Year 10 and 11 students that will be out in the real world in the near future.

Absolutely! Mine are only 10 but are learning about cooking and understanding food. They can tidy up and wash up. As they get older more things will be added to the list. And I totally agree with what pallisers says.

I had feck all life skills and had to learn the absolute hard way. By making a shit tonne of mistakes.

I will be teaching mine whatever they want to learn. I want them to be independent and confident about life.

I haven't taught my DDs, I've done stuff with them. Gardening, cooking, laundry, baking, knitting, assembling flatpacks. They also know how to read shop shelf prices so they don't get taken in by deals that look good.

Yes I do
And I plan to teach her how to ensure she has a healthy relationship and who to avoid and what is acceptable in terms of how someone should treat her (and vice versa).
And not to believe all the crass chat up lines!

Depends what you mean by “taught”. We were Continuum Concept parents- so we just expected ours to join in whatever we were doing.

I was taught by helping. I struggle to teach cooking as DD has a disability, but she can do some stuff. She helps with housework, does what she is able to. She does love helping though, so that’s a good start.

bringing forgotten lunches, homework, books, PE kit,

I’m a long way past secondary school, but I definitely remember this being a problem back then too.

MY DH worked in an office based role when my DC were tiny and he routinely ironed his 5 shirts ready for the week, every Sunday evening. Consequently, my children (2 DS, 2 DD) grew up all ironing their own stuff (as soon as they were old enough to wield an iron without risk of burns obviously) without even thinking about it. My oldest DS's girlfriend once told me how great it was I had taught him to iron. FFS.