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Original poster

Would you leave baby alone?

379 replies

Mississippilessly · 28/11/2018 10:10

I have agreed to go and pick up a parcel for a friend tomorrow. DS is 10 weeks. I am going to have to take my DH so someone can stay with the baby - the parcel is too big for me to take him in. This seems crazy. Could I lock the car and run in? I have only just thought of itm

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 12:47

The person that mentioned the Wales case, the girl was nearly 3, wasn’t strapped in and her mum left the handbrake off. Completely different scenario to the OP and to bring it up as a ‘oh look what could happen' is just fucking wrong when the OP has said she’s struggling already’

Not to mention how awful it would be the for the mother involved, should she happen to read this forum. She lost her child to a tragic accident and for the rest of her days will probably question the choices she made or didn't make but that doesn't mean she exists to serve as a cautionary tale to others. There but for the grace of God and all that.

Jaxhog · 28/11/2018 12:49

the driver of the car popped into the office to get some money.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-43468076

It may be rare, but who wants to risk being that unfortunate mother?

I still think your friend has asked too much.Tell her you just can't do it.

ogglet · 28/11/2018 12:49

Prioritising the safety of your Baby for a friends Parcel? Be real OP, of course you can't! Confused

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
CrookedMe · 28/11/2018 12:50

@CaptainWentworth I see no issue with that, what's possibly going to happen? Babies don't tend to spontaneously combust when they're out of eyeline for 3 minutes.

The hysteria on here sometimes is wild.

GrumbleBumble · 28/11/2018 12:55

Paying for petrol is a fairly unique situation - they by there nature have a high turn over of cars coming and going, they have petrol fumes, they are often right next to busy roads. They almost always have glass fronts /large windows so the pumps are visible from inside and the queues are visible from outside. They are flat (so cars won't roll away) and they are CCTV saturated to stop fuel theft. It is a combination of these that lead many people (oh and ROSPA) to conclude that there is less risk leaving a child in the car briefly in this situation rather than crossing the forecourt with them. Parcel collection is a different ball game. At this time of year the queue can be massive and the car probably won't be visible from inside.

CrookedMe · 28/11/2018 12:56

@ogglet please, genuinely, how is the safety of the baby being compromised?

The likelihood of dying in the heat is zero. Car theft? Vanishingly close to zero.

Sure, stuff happens. But statistically, you could probably leave your baby in the car for two minutes 100,00 times and nothing would ever happen.

Please, everyone, calm the actual fuck down. OP, it's grand, really it is. I know stuff magnifies in your mind when you have a tiny baby; either leave him in his seat or take him inside and ask someone to help.

EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 12:59

crooked is talking sense here.

roundtable · 28/11/2018 13:01

Have I missed why your friend isn't accompanying you?

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 13:05

I knew someone would link that story from North Wales.

It was ZERO to to with what is happening here. The car was parked on a slope and the handbrake left off.

Hedgehoginthefog · 28/11/2018 13:05

Take baby in to the depot. Once you have the parcel it will suddenly be obvious that you can't manage. Hopefully someone will help, otherwise you have to go and put baby in car and then run back for the parcel... or leave baby in depot - will have to risk assess at the time based on who is there, how close car is etc.

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 13:06

Yes she is.

Ogglet don't be so ridiculous by the way.

Do some of you people never leave the house? Actually most accidents happen in the home. What to do.

Saracen · 28/11/2018 13:08

I think that the details of how you collect the parcel will be fine. I know it is worrying you, but there are various ways to tackle it and ANY of them would be okay.

You can leave the baby in the car. You can carry the baby and bring a pram or some sort of trolley to push the parcel to the car. You can ask someone to help you: most people are nice and wouldn't leave a mum with a young baby to struggle. It isn't the huge problem you are imagining.

However, I agree with others who are saying that this favour seems a really huge one and if you have PND or feel close to PND, this is not what you need. Surely your friend can pay extra to have the parcel redelivered to her home. Be kind to yourself.

Steamedbadger · 28/11/2018 13:09

OP you sound exhausted and it's nice of you to help your friend. For your own sanity, I'd get off this thread now. IMO if you can see the car, it's parked somewhere safe and you are only a couple of minutes you're fine. If not, bring the baby in with you and somebody will take pity on you.

SoupDragon · 28/11/2018 13:13

Babies don't tend to spontaneously combust when they're out of eyeline for 3 minutes.

No they don't. In fact the don't eve spontaneously combust so that's kind of irrelevant.

I can't imagine it taking only 3 minutes to collect a parcel from a depot though. DS took 15 minutes in the summer (so, not a busy time).

ajw88 · 28/11/2018 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrookedMe · 28/11/2018 13:15

But I imagine if the OP walks in and sees a huge queue, she'd go back and get the baby. If it's quiet and she's in and out, there's no need to.

brilliotic · 28/11/2018 13:19

However, I agree with others who are saying that this favour seems a really huge one and if you have PND or feel close to PND, this is not what you need. Surely your friend can pay extra to have the parcel redelivered to her home. Be kind to yourself.

This might be the case, but it might be the opposite. When I was 'close to PND' I would have jumped at the opportunity to do something meaningful that wasn't baby related. To get out of the house with a purpose. To get a little bit of me back, the me who gets things done, is reliable, helps friends out. To feel that just because I have a baby doesn't mean I am now helpless and can't do anything but am always in need of other's help.
And DP would have been annoyed with me for volunteering to help out a friend when I wasn't even getting anywhere near to being on top of the laundry.

So it could be that OP offered to help her friend out because she needs to get out of the house and the never-ending grind, and be doing something non-baby related. For her own sake.

OP if this is it, don't let the anxiety over baby being safe in the car stop you from doing it. That would be the anxiety winning, and tying you forever to home. Go, and find a solution when you're there, depending on the circumstances you find. You are perfectly capable of doing this and putting your baby first at the same time.

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 13:24

I agree, there is no reason not to get the parcel if OP wants to.

kenandbarbie · 28/11/2018 13:47

I have twins do I had to leave them in the car at the petrol station. As someone else said nip in check queue and go back and get baby if it's long.

ogglet · 28/11/2018 13:59

@HauntedPencil Not ridiculous at all, entirely my Opinion which posting such a Thread on a Public Forum everyone is entitled to.
Of course everyone leaves the House and looks like the Majority put their Children first when doing so!

ogglet · 28/11/2018 14:06

@CrookedMe But why would anyone take any risks at all regardless of how small, for a Friends Parcel?! That makes no sense at all. Yes statistically chances of anything happening are slim blah blah blah... but for an errand so insignificant why bother?
Threads like this always cause hysteria and conflicting opinions, parent bashing and perfect Mothers but in reality think majority would not do what the OP is asking.

HellenaHandbasket · 28/11/2018 14:10

I would tbh, assuming they are fit and well, asleep etc and I could see the car. But I also leave them when I get petrol etc.

MamaDane · 28/11/2018 14:17

It's funny the difference in culture. In Scandinavia you let your baby sleep outside in their pram. Whether you're inside a Cafe and the baby is sleeping outside (in front of the window of course), or you live in at an apartment block and the pram is 4 floors down in the common garden.

I don't think I would leave the kid alone in the UK if it were me. Not even in safe areas. Because if people aren't used to it they may react a bit drastically and well.. Try to "save" your baby or call the police. I know that has happened in America at least.

EwItsAHooman · 28/11/2018 14:21

My babies have all slept outside, youngest had her nap in the garden this morning like she does most mornings and it's really common where I live in the UK to do this. I also leave her in her pushchair outside the local shop when I'm just nipping in for something quick because it's easier than bumping the pushchair up the steps and trying to squidge it around the very narrow aisles.

HauntedPencil · 28/11/2018 14:27

Ogglet we all take statistically tiny risks every day. Every single day.

I'm sure the OP is more than capable of deciding what it best when she arrives at the depot and sees the layout.

You are being quite frankly ridiculous, telling someone it's too risky to collect a parcel.