Cheer me up with your tales of culinary disasters!

[whyameyehere]

Making a meat and potato pie for tea, really looking forward to it. The pastry was made and I just finishing seasoning the mince onions and potatoes when I managed to tip half a tub of salt into the mix, it was totally unsalvagable and we ended up having chicken and chips out of the freezer.

What disasters have you had in the kitchen?

I was making chicken and noodle stirfry...I thought I was pouring soy sauce over it but it turned out to be balsamic vinegar! Poor oh ate it without complaining!

I set fire to a tin of tomatoes my first year of uni... I've been cooking since I was 14 so I don't know what happened.

I've burned Brussel sprouts.

I turned a toad in the hole to a cake... Still tasted fairly nice though but very weird. Sausage cake is not something I'd usually go for...

Still can't make a MERENGUE to save my life.

turned toad in the hole into a cake??

I spent much time making a beautiful and complicated sauce. Poured it through a sieve - straight into the sink. Completely forgot to put a bowl underneath. There was varied and extensive swearing in the Katsu household that day

I've done that too, it's always something that you've taken ages to prepare

Was half asleep after a long shift and needed a snack. Put some microwave noodles in the microwave once. Without the water. They caught fire, the microwave caught fire. Stepdad ran downstairs and threw it in the garden. The grass caught fire. Managed to extinguish all of the above eventually.

dd1 did the same with some ready brek, no milk,thankfully we realised before the microwave caught fire although there were flames coming out of the bowl

Glad it's not just me! Was terrifying really but we all laughed afterwards (bewildered)

I've posted this before but never mind!

A lovely pot of vegetable stew simmering nicely on the hob. I thought "Oh, I'll put a load of washing on while it simmers." The washing machine is next to the stove. Guess where I absentmindedly put the washing powder: in the machine drawer or in the stew?

@MiddlingMum in the machine drawer or in the stew? 😀

Mine was a first meal for a few friends in our new house, with a newish, lovely kitchen. I spend some time that afternoon preparing, decanting flour, sugar etc into matching, colour coordinated with the new kitchen, jars.

So, when i made the fish pie with what i thought was flour, was it flour or ... icing sugar?

DP used condensed milk in a curry instead of coconut milk 🙄

Many many moons ago it was pancake day and I flipped the last of the pancakes only for it to go right over my head and on to the floor so I turned round pan in hand to put it by the sink and pick up the pancake..... I bent down pan still in hand and totally lost my balance and the pan went on the ground, it's fine I thought stuck the pancake back in the pan and as I picked the pan back up I realised that as our kitchen floor was carpeted that there was now a huge melted circle on the floor 🤦‍♀️😱 luckily my parents saw the funny side! Thinking back on this I'm wondering why we had a carpeted kitchen?🤔

I made perfect creme brûlée for a special birthday tea. Except someone hadn't properly cleaned the saucepan in which I made the custard. They had the slight but distinct taste of garlic.

My 'best' was not,long after one Christmas, when I thought I'd use up some mincemeat with a mincemeat and apple pie, layer of each. We had guests coming - I made the pastry, too.

Took it out of the oven - it looked perfect - and I'll never know how it happened (I might have been just a teeny bit pissed) but the whole thing somehow slid off the plate into our dog's bed! Where various smashed up bits of it got all cosy with a load of dog hair, crumbs of her rainy-day Bonios, etc.

We all had to make do with cheese that night.

I've burnt boiled eggs. 4 times.
Adding a little bit of pepper to some mashed potatoes one day and the lid came off and the entire tub went into the mash. Did the same with soup recently but scooped out the majority and the remainder made the soup really spicy but I loved it!

I had previously made a batch of meatballs which I had cooked and then froze. On the day I made a pot of homemade sauce and added the meatballs to thaw and heat up, and I would have the sauce simmering on very low heat for about 2 hours. Done this countless times.

Well, apparently my brain fell out. I forgot to turn the heat down and then I forgot about the sauce COMPLETELY. I was at the other side of my house doing cleaning and the alarm went off. Obviously, I remembered then! The sauce and meatballs were a burned blackened disaster. I even had to throw the pot away.

My sister cooked a turkey for Christmas one year and forgot to take the giblets out. All the plastic bags melted to the inside of the bird.

One year she made some buns and put them in the fridge but hadn't sealed them up well enough. They ended up tasting of raw onion.

At school I made some rock cakes. The recipe called for a pinch of salt. In my infinite 14 year old wisdom I assumed it was wrong and put a tablespoonful in. They were so salty they were inedible.

Herby salt added to dumplings - wanted it very Herby so added too much and it was way too salty. Had guests for tea too!

Also red velvet disaster cake. It was brown and very lop-sided.

I fancied making biscuits. The internet said lard could be used in place of butter in flavoured biscuits. I’m sure you know where this is going...

gettinglikemymother - that's hilarious!

When DH and i were first living together i was really enjoying cooking different meals and trying out new recipes. One evening I decided to do a take on Duck a l'orange. Except we didn't have any duck so I used chicken...and I didn't feel it was saucy enough so in my culinary ignorance I added tinned tomatoes

It was absolutely horrific and we couldn't eat it. We still laugh about the orange chicken of 2012

Made a lovely quiche, including the pastry. It was looking absolutely beautiful, then I picked it up from the bottom, the removable bottom came up and the ring bit slid down my arm. It burned me and I dropped the quiche. I cried.

I was making myself a burger sandwich once with frozen burgers. I let the frying pan heat up too much and had too much oil in so when I put the burgers in they sizzled like mad and then went up in flames The worst thing was though that rather than turn the pan off and put a damp towel over it, the stuff I knew you're meant to do, I just screamed and ran to the closed end of the kitchen. Luckily my step-dad was there and he managed to stop the flames before a fire started. I've done burgers in the oven since then.

Also I made curry recently, it wasn’t an inedible kind of disaster, but I forgot to let it cool down before blending the sauce - shot boiling hot sauce all over the kitchen and all up my arm. Nice scar there now...

The first time my dad cooked with garlic was at university. He didn’t know the difference between a clove and a bulb of garlic. The recipe said two cloves. Two bulbs of garlic does not improve the taste of anything...