I need help and don’t know where to get it

[DesperateScaredMum]

My disabled child has done something truely truely awful and I can’t cope. Police are involved, social services are involved and everyone is looking at me to somehow fix this and I can’t. I can’t stop crying, I can’t hold it together at all. I’m so scared and I really don’t know what to do. I know we need help but I don’t know where to get it and there is no one I can talk to about this. I don’t even know why I’m posting but I need to do something other than cry and pray all this will go away.

Do you want to talk about it?

I know I need to but I guess I’m scared of being judged or branded a bad parent or even scared of people judging him.

Oh dear. Sounds awful. I'm assuming really really awful. It's not your fault. I'm sorry this has happened I really hope this gets sorted asap

He has sexually abused another child. He doesn’t understand what he has done and he doesn’t particularly care, he doesn’t understand the consequences so isn’t worried about those either, he’s just expecting the usual “no sweets for you now don’t do it again” and my whole world has fallen apart.

its not your fault... find someome to talk. through... would the samaratains be a good option

My thoughts are with both you and your child, and with any other person/being involved. I just want you to know that whatever has happened, you are not alone. Don't be afraid, you are not here to be judged xx

I am so sorry. It must be very tough.
Have you got real life support?

Just wanted to join in with everyone saying it’s not your fault

You might want to ring the Samaritans in the first instance. They are not only for those considering taking their own life. They are anonymous befrienders who will simply listen without judgement. Talking anonymously might help get it clearer in your head and help you calm. It will certainly give you emotional support.
Their number is 116 123.

Social services and the Police will point you towards help and support but that won’t be at 10pm on a Sunday. Just call that number; it might well help. Nobody at all will know and you can even use a pseudonym.

Was your child aware that what they did was very wrong? Would the police and SS involvement scare them enough not to do it again? If there was someone else involved, are they getting support?

Not asking for you to answer on here, but keep asking yourself questions that can help you to process it and reach for feelings that are slightly better than what you have now. When we are in a funky downward spiral we are not looking for solutions, we are only looking at the problems.

Breathe OP. Give yourself a little time to get to the answers. Keep in mind what is going to matter in 5 or 10 years from now. You’ll get through this.

No one else knows yet, I can’t bring myself to tell people. I’ve been trying to google what will happen but there are no answers. I don’t know if the police are planning to prosecute, he’s over the age of criminal responsibility but doesn’t have capacity, I don’t know if social services will deem my younger children at risk and make me choose if I keep him or them, even I don’t yet know if they are at risk. I can’t stop thinking about the poor child he’s done this to and how he’s fucked up their lives as well. I don’t know how to deal with this knowledge.

Sorry, cross post.

I think he knew it was wrong but I don’t think he understands just how wrong. He functions at a much younger age than he is so has the understanding a small child would have. He certainly doesn’t understand these are life altering events.

It’s nit your fault, don’t torture yourself it won’t help anybody, try to keep breathing, could you make yourself a cup of tea and phone the Samaritans maybe?

Big handhold and hug from me too, i can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. Samaritans are a great idea too. I assume the police are involved and so social services will be too - my suggestion would be look after yourself tonight, function as best you can, let tomorrow take its course.

I cannot imagine how you must be feeling.

SS will be concerned about your other children. Can you talk to the school nurse or your GP for support?

I think you should take this thread down.

It isn’t a good idea as it might be identifiable and you wouldn’t want it picked up by the daily red tops.

I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. I hope tomorrow when everyone is at the office you’ll be directed to those who can support. This is not your fault.

OP, you are in my thoughts, sending you love and strength and hoping there is someone you can confide in for RL support

Sorry I really can't imagine what you must be going through. But it's not your fault x

OP- sending you love and support. As pp have said , it's not your fault 💐

Make sure you get disabled SS involved - they will be able to advise better.

Hi there OP,

We're really sorry to hear about what you're going through, it sounds really tough - for all involved.

Would you like us to move this thread over to SN Children? We think you might receive better advice there.

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. No judgement here

Have SS offered any support?