Please can someone help with advice regarding injunctions and social services?

[Tailfeather]

My sister was in a relationship and they had a baby. Shortly after the baby was born he became violent and abusive. She left him when she ended up in hospital with injuries. He is now angry and jealous and possessive. He watches her, stalks her, has multiple keys to the building of her flat and lets himself in and bangs on her door. He is verbally abusive and bullying and threatening. But nobody seems to be helping her - the police or social services. I assumed that once they were involved they would arrange supervised visits and get an injunction against him going near her.

Does anyone know anything about this? What our next steps should be? What we can actually do?

I would be so grateful for any advice or help.

Thank you.

Nobody? We are desperate here. It's just me and my sister. Social services have been awful. The police aren't taking us seriously and I'm scared this guy is going to do something stupid.

Try and get as much evidence as you can - video and audio and any written communication. Report every incident to the police. Contact Rights of Women who will help you get a non molestation order. Contact your local domestic abuse service (or contact women's aid) so they can refer to MARAC if needed. I'm sorry she is going through this.

Social services wouldn't arrange supervised visits, there would need to be a purpose for that in terms of assessing his parenting. Given the amount of abuse he is perpetrating which WILL be having an effect on his baby, I don't think he should be having contact at all.

It would be up to your sister to get an injunction, she can do so via a lawyer.

Get her to contact women's aid too, they are fantastic.

She can also ask the police for a 'storm marker' on her address which means if she were to phone the police in fear of him then she would get a blue light response.

Women's Aid should definitely be her next port of call!

Thank you so much. She has reported every incident to the police but even when he barged into their flat, locked his daughter in a room and was threatening her, they wouldn't do anything!! She's contacted loads of organisations who sent forms for her to fill in and then never got back to her. Nobody is taking it seriously, but I have seen him in action and he is a horrible, bad man. Will pass on those details and see if she's contacted them. Thank you. X

I just spoke to her. She has called Women's Aid a few times and they've never got back to her. I'll try and call them.

It's the affect on her daughter that I'm worried about the most.

Thank you both. I am trying to get through to Women's Aid now.

Hi Tail I'm so sorry your sister is going through this. And disgusted the police aren't doing more. I went through similar 15 years ago with my ex. I hoped the police's understanding of domestic abuse had improved in recent years. It seems not. Women's Aid do get very busy. Have you looked around to see if there is a local domestic abuse charity in your area? My local one were amazing and gave me all sorts of help, including helping me get an injunction against my ex. Or if she's in a housing association property, speak to them as they will be able to signpost her in the right direction and help make the property safer.

It's good she has you to help her

Women's aid are likely to refer you in to your local domestic abuse charity. If you Google your towns name and domestic abuse you should find out who operates where you are. An alternative would be to go into the police station and ask to speak to somebody in their domestic abuse unit.

Can she move? Not an ideal response I know but perhaps an area with better police action

So sorry she is going through this and sorry only just seen this.

Definitely ring Women's Aid, she can go into a refuge or if she owns property with him can go via a solicitor to get him kicked out but takes a couple of weeks during which she needs to be elsewhere. Report everything to police and keep a diary.

There's a good guide on here:
www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/support-for-women/

If it is safe to do so its good to get these things out but main thing is to get her and child out.

Identification and important papers (e.g. birth certificates, passports, benefit books, bank account details, medical cards, court orders, marriage certificate)
Money
Phone numbers – emergency and personal
Spare set of house and car keys
Medicines and toiletries
Clothes for a few days
A few of your children’s favourite toys
Proof of the abuse (e.g. notes, photos, crime reference numbers, diary, taped messages, emails, texts)

NCDV www.ncdv.org.uk are your best bet for injunctions. She now needs to have no contact with him whatsoever. If he wants to see his child he can apply through the legal system.

The thing is it's been going on for months. She owns her own property. (I think this is part of the problem too - flat was bought with our parent's inheritance in her name - so once he started hitting her he was effectively kicked out and made homeless - I think he moves around staying with mates). If the answer was to move out short term while it was sorted she could come and stay with me. But it's been almost a year of the police and social services doing nothing to help her.

Thank you. Looking at your other links now.

If you own I think what a solicitor can apply for is an occupation order, this is basic details:

www.frg.org.uk/occupation-order

Though check with Women's Aid / Solicitor, not 100% as she owns it alone, know can use for jointly owned to take possession in about 2 weeks.

She needs to complain to duty inspector for domestic violence. The futy inspector then had to investigate why nothing is happening etc and can add her to the MARAC case list.
Could she speak to the property management company to see if they can change the lock on the door into the building?
Wishing her luck. X

This maybe worth looking into too:

www.frg.org.uk/non-molestation-order

Sadly a lot of what needs to happen has to be instigated by her - there is little social care can actually do for her on a legal basis

She needs to;

1. Apply for an urgent non-molestation order stating he cannot have direct or indirect contact with her or come with xxxmetres of her home or her

1. Request building management urgently change the communal locks for the safety of her and other residents. Make all other residents aware that he poses a significant safety risk if allowed access to the building

1. Change her phone number. All of you block him on social media

1. Call the police every time she sees him at her home or he makes contact with her. Keep a written record of all contacts and all police reference numbers

1. Consider putting her house up for sale/renting it out and moving out of the local area - she could seek a refuge place in the meantime for immediate safety (social care should held her identify a safe place)

Worth also looking at getting prohibited steps order alongside non molestation order and as others have said look for domestic violence charity in local area. Sure start/childrens centres are good for that kind of information.

@FlamingoCactus How do we go about getting the order that says he can't come within x of her and/or her home?

I think non molestation order is via a solicitor. Women's Aid can give you local ones

Lots of good advice here - @FlamingoCactus has the best advice in my opinion.

There is some advice above about MARAC'a and police 'Storm notices' above. Please note : These are not always generic UK policing terms and may be different in your local area of the UK. Nevertheless, the principles are sound and you will have local equivalents.

You need to be aware of the differences in orders such as injunctions, Non-Molestation orders and Domestic Violence Protection notices. Some of them are instigated by the yourself, some by professional agencies. You should be able to get good advice from Women's Aid and CAB. You could also speak to a private solicitor (although this may cost after an initial consultation).

If you feel that professional agencies are not pulling their weight, they will all have methods of making complaints. Google is your friend here in getting these instigated - most of them can be completed online and you should expect responses back fairly promptly. There may be good reasons as to why certain actions may (or may not) have been taken and they will be able to inform you.

Please keep us updated.

As far as i understand you dont need the police for an injunction. You need a solicitor who can apply to court. If its granted then he can be arrested if he breaks it.
Might be worth getting some advice from a solicitor...

Thank you. I naively assumes the authorities would sort stuff, but will see a solicitor next week. Have found some local ones who specialise in family law.

I think you need to be aware she may not be telling you the whole truth. She may even be actively preventing the authorities from taking certain steps.

She may be asking him to come round, arranging visits, even sleeping with him etc

Also she may not have done what is required of her in terms of filling in and returning forms etc. That may be to do with the situation or she doesn't understand parts - there are people that can help with that but she has to ask.

Not because she's a bad person but because she's been essentially brainwashed - it's part of the abuse. Victims kind of need deprogramming.

She may be scared to tell you for fear of your reaction.

Dv victims "leave" an abusive partner an average of 7 times before they REALLY leave them.

All that said apparently these people

www.ncdv.org.uk

Are very good on the dealing with the legal side of dv including non-mol orders, possession of homes etc. Not used them myself but know of people who have on here and in real life now.

I'd be very surprised if the police are being as ineffective as that, but if they are she can complain about the officers involved. Has she been assigned officers from the dv unit? Or were these "normal" patrol officers? Does her ex still have legal access to the home & child?