Please can someone help with advice regarding injunctions and social services?

[Tailfeather]

My sister was in a relationship and they had a baby. Shortly after the baby was born he became violent and abusive. She left him when she ended up in hospital with injuries. He is now angry and jealous and possessive. He watches her, stalks her, has multiple keys to the building of her flat and lets himself in and bangs on her door. He is verbally abusive and bullying and threatening. But nobody seems to be helping her - the police or social services. I assumed that once they were involved they would arrange supervised visits and get an injunction against him going near her.

Does anyone know anything about this? What our next steps should be? What we can actually do?

I would be so grateful for any advice or help.

Thank you.

@Graphista She did let him back many times until he hospitalised her with her baby in the other room. I've witnessed his crazy behaviour many times. There's absolutely NO reasoning with him. But you're right, my sister doubts herself all the time. He turns it all on her and says she's harming her daughter by forcing her father out of her life (this touches a nerve as our dad left when we were little and it did really affect her as our mum died shortly after) blah blah while shouting and calling her awful things. He also threatened to kill her in front of me so she could go and join our mum in hell! Nasty piece of work.

Bastard! Alongside serial killers these gits are in my opinion among the best psychological profilers in the world - they know exactly which buttons to push.

Encourage your sister in as positive a way as possible to get therapy, to get support.

Keep boosting her self esteem. Tell her all her positives as often as possible, highlight the positives of her life away from him, of how happy their dd is when it's just her and dd. Get her involved in her local community if possible. Keep her busy. Give her things to look forward to - help her create a vision of a happy future without him (though I'd avoid the idea of another relationship).

I do hope you are able to help her stay away from him and build a future for her and her dd.

It's an extremely complex dynamic which I don't think people who haven't experienced it understand.

I'm the child of an abusive home, my parents are still together. When I was younger I just wanted mum to leave. Now I'm older I can see how he's managed to make her truly believe she could not cope without him - even though the realty is its him who wouldn't cope (she's his carer he's basically bedridden now)

They've been together over 40 years all her adult life basically. She'll never leave.

I've read a lot on it and there are certain experts who liken it to "Stockholm syndrome" and the brainwashing those in cults are subjected to.

I remember watching a show years ago and the host played a "trick" on the audience - planted a researcher who loudly complained about a bad smell and convinced the queuing audience, well some but a good number, to also think they were smelling it. Then when they were seated "apologised" for the issue blaming something like a blocked drain iirc. Then when the show started admitted it was a ruse - with a point.

They were only queuing for about an hour, had no emotional relationship with the researcher and yet they'd been convinced.

Host then said something like 'now imagine you've someone you care about even love, telling you every day for years that you are ugly, stupid, weak, couldn't live without them etc. Can you now begin to understand why victims of abuse find it so hard to leave their abuser' and the programme continued with guests who'd been victims of abuse expanding on this theme.

The mental abuse is far harder to untangle than the physical.

Apologies didn't see your reply earlier - yes she needs to meet with a family law solicitor who will be able to advise her on the best orders. You can also apply independently but I wouldn't advise it if it can be avoided.
She may also qualify for legal aid as a victim of domestic violence - her reporting of these incidents to the police should provide enough evidence for that. Ask the solicitor how to apply for legal aid when you meet with them this week.

I'd suggest if possible you go with her to the appointment with the solicitor as it can both be a lot of information for one person to take in, but will also be much more emotive for her than you so you might be able to focus a bit better on the practicalities.

Oh also a local domestic abuse group course can be invaluable (if well run...) in supporting her to better understand the signs of domestic abuse and the impact on both her and her daughter. They should be run locally for free by your local domestic abuse services - it is sometimes called the Freedom Programme or Triple R.